Cleveland Browns vs The Varsity Warriors
1st Period:
CLE (1-0) – Julie (4) (unassisted)
2nd Period:
CLE (2-0) – Rob Blandi (6) (assisted by Ramy)
GAME NOTES: The opening game of the final week of the season featured last year’s champs, looking to avoid the basement, facing this year’s top seed looking to clinch the bye…Julie got the scoring started early in the first on the power play, throwing a seeing-eye ball in front that found it’s way in to give the Cleveland Browns the lead and give her the ladies scoring title…Ramy busted up the left wing and threw a pass in front to his Rehabs teammate Rob. Eitan made an impressive first save. Unfortunately, there was no second save…from there, it was a goaltending duel as Eitan filled in admirably for Tim B, but Tim K solidified the goaltending crown with a league leading third shutout of the season…with the win, the Cleveland Browns clinch first place, and do so just a day after firing half their coaching staff. Truly an incredible bouceback for a truly mediocre city. The Warriors, meanwhile, will go into the playoffs as the 8 seed and get a first round matchup with league leading scorer Jeff and Ball That.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Rob Blandi (1G)
2nd – Julie (GWG)
1st – Tim K (3rd Shutout of the Season)
Ball That vs The Purple Parrots
1st Period:
PAR (1-0) – Susie (1) (assisted by Henry)
2nd Period:
PAR (2-0) – Tyler (3) (assisted by The Provider)
3rd Period:
BAL (1-2) – Jeff (12) (assisted by Will Green)
PAR (3-1) Henry (3) (unassisted)
PAR (4-1) – Eitan The Forward Turned Goalie Turned Forward Again (2) (assisted by Joe P)
PAR (5-1) – Henry (4) (assisted by unassisted)
GAME NOTES: With Ball That playing for a first round bye and the Parrots missing Hogg, Tarnow and LJ, this game looked like it might be a blowout. Unfortunately Miles was also out and interim Parrots captain Campbell Weaver ate his Wheaties on Tuesday morning…Susie opened the scoring early in the 1st with her first of the season on a rebound off a shot by Henry…Tyler put the Parrots ahead by two on his third goal of the year. As usual, The Provider provided for the people…Jeff would not go gentle into that good night and got his team on the board early in the 3rd off a slick pass from Will. The goal clinched the scoring title and won Rich $20, which he made sure to let us know about immediately…sadly for orange, that was all the scoring they would do on this day as Henry put in two goals while Eitan buried one as well to give the Parrots a 5-1 win…with the win, the Parrots move up to 6th and face My Cup Size Is Stanley on Tuesday. Ball That, meanwhile, finishes 5th and will face Probie and the defending champion Varsity Warriors in the battle of teams who were docked a first round pick.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Jeff (1G)
2nd – Susie (1G)
1st – Henry (2G, 1A)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Hungry Hippos
1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Evan (3) (assisted by Sweet Baby James)
CUP (1-1) – Tarzan (1) (unassisted)
CUP (2-1) – Tarzan (2) (assisted by Cherie)
2nd Period:
CUP (3-1) – Adam Gotterer (1) (unassisted)
HIP (2-3) – Sweet Baby James (10) (assisted by Evan)
3rd Period:
HIP (3-3) – Hicks (6) (assisted by DRo)
HIP (4-3) Kelsey (1) (assisted by Hicks)
GAME NOTES: With Ball That losing earlier in the evening, Cup Size had a chance to move up to 4th place with a win here and a loss by the Cheetahs later. The Hippos were playing for a bye into the semis which they needed a win to attain…Evan got the scoring started off the opening face-off on a great feed from new linemate Sweet Baby James. It’ll be interesting to see if this combo stays together when Christian returns for the playoffs…Cup Size took a lead before the first was up on Tarzan’s first two goals of the season. Adam added to it in the 2nd with his first of the year and Cup Size looked to be on their way to an upset victory. Unfortunately, hockey games are three periods long, not two…Sweet Baby James narrowed the lead before the end of the 2nd off a great feed from Evan, who he had previously set up in the 1st. #linematecontroversy…Hicks picked up his 6th of the year on a wicked release top shelf to tie the game, then played the role of hero/villain later when he drew a controversial penalty on Tarzan while already on the PP, giving the Hippos a minute and 45 second power play with just two minutes left to play…the Hippos worked the ball around on the 5 on 3 and got a host of great chances, but Zach Lewis was equal to the task. With the first penalty done and the second about to expire, however, Hicks threw it in front to Kelsey who put a shot behind her back and past Zach for her first career D5 goal and an incredible, last minute game winner…with the loss, Cup Size will face the Parrots next week. The Hippos will get a bye and face either Team Sexy, Cup Size or the Parrots in the semifinals on the 13th.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Tarzan (2G)
2nd – Hicks (1G, 1A)
1st – Kelsey (GWG)
The Charging Cheetahs vs Team Sexy
1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Scott Metz (6) (unassisted)
CHA (1-1) – Gabe (4) (assisted by Olivier)
CHA (2-1) – Gabe (5) (assisted by Sena)
2nd Period:
CHA (3-1) – Creeden (1) (assisted by Sully)
SEX (2-3) – Karp (4) (unassisted)
CHA (4-2) – Olivier (1) (assisted by Liz)
3rd Period:
CHA (5-2) – Matt Stabel (3) (assisted by Sena)
SEX (3-5) – AFrey (2) (PP) (assisted by Evan DeMarco)
CHA (6-3) – Gabe (6) (unassisted)
GAME NOTES: The final game of the regular season pitted the 5th place Cheetahs, with a chance to move up to 4th, against Team Sexy, who were looking to clinch a bye into the semis…Scott Metz got the scoring started on an off-speed changeup on a partial breakaway that found its way five hole for the 1-0 lead…not to be outdone, Gabe put on an absolute show in this one, at one point literally taking his penis out and using it to stickhandle around a defenseman. While you’re technically not allowed to play with two sticks at once, no penalty was called…he picked up his first two goals in the latter half of the 1st period, then capped off the hattie with an end-to-end rush where he went through half of the people on the court, deked backhand and went top shelf just for good measure. The net was already empty. We were already dead…Sully was all over the court in this one, playing like the true third line grinder he pitched himself as to the captains before the season. Looks like the Cheetahs made a solid pick…Sena returned from a multi-week absence due to injury and/or Burning Man hangover to notch two assists and a shutdown defensive effort…Alex scored his 2nd goal of the season and 1st since opening night. As Team Sexy was already down 5-2 with less than 6 minutes to go, he celebrated possibly less than anyone has ever celebrated a goal in D5 history…with the victory the Cheetahs, who won their first three games before dropping five straight, clinch 4th place and will face the winner of the Ball That/Warriors match at 8:20 on Tuesday. Sexy, meanwhile, falls to 3rd and will face the winner of the Cup Size/Parrots showdown in the primetime game.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Sena (2A)
2nd – Olivier (1G, 1A)
1st – Gabe (3G)