D5 Stats That Probably Interest No One

Royals Record
Royals With Derek: 2-2
Royals Without Derek: 0-6

Notes: Derek will never be able to mount a stronger Hart Trophy case than this. A .500 team when he was in the lineup turned into a team that hasn’t won a game since he left. O Derek where art thou?

Mavericks Standings Points
First 5 Games: 1 of a possible 15 standings points
Last 5 Games: 13 of a possible 15 standings points

Notes: Mavs are catching fire at the perfect time. After sitting winless in last place for most of the season, they’ve won 4 of their last 5 and more importantly picked up 13 of a possible 15 points in the standings. With an impressive victory over the 1st place Goaldiggers in their season finale, this is truly the lower seed that no one wants to face in the playoffs.

Goaldiggers Goal Differential
First 5 Games: 28 Goals Scored, 8 Goals Against, +20 Total
Last 5 Games: 20 Goals Scored, 16 Goals Against, + 4 Total

Notes: Goaldiggers, on the other hand, are coming back to Earth a bit after a crazy start to the season where they were averaging a 4 goal win every week. They’re still 4-1 in their last 5, but the tightness of their last few games shows that there is a recipe to beat them. The question is whether anyone can figure it out in time for the playoffs.

Hippos Goal Differential
Against Black & Orange: 24 Goals Scored, 6 Goals Against, +18 Total in only 3 games
Against All Other Teams: 18 Goals Scored, 24 Goals Against, -6 Total in 7 games

Notes: You can only play who’s on your schedule and man have the Hippos enjoyed playing the bottom two teams in the standings. They’ve still done fine against the rest of the league but that +18 in 3 games is really something. Perhaps most ironic of all is that in those 3 games, the least goals they scored was in the game where they faced AK in net.

Probert Stats Since Spring 2021 (including playoffs):
Against Blue: 8 Games, 6 Goals, 2 Assists, 8 Points
Against Every Team Except Blue: 19 Games, 26 Goals, 10 Assists, 36 Points

Notes: Probert specifically asked for this statline which in turn was actually the inspiration for this entire piece. It’s kind of crazy that holding a guy to a point per game is considered great defense but juxtaposed against his #s against the rest of the league, I’ll take it and pray it holds through the playoffs.

Corey Points
Against Kraken & Hooligans: 2 GP, 8G, 1A
Against All Other Teams: 7GP, 3G, 2A, 5P

Notes: Corey’s less than a point-per-game against most of the league but turns into a scoring machine against teams with green-ish jerseys. Next season, all his games will be against the Hooligans.

Ellie Points
In 4v4 Games: 3GP, 3G, 5A, 8P
In 5v5 Games: 6GP, 2G, 2A, 4P

Notes: It seems like blue players like to score in bunches. Ellie is solid in 5v5 but apparently is also a 4v4 specialist. Not bad for someone who only started playing ball hockey last year.

Kraken Record
With Lily: 2-1
Without Lily: 2-5

Notes: Who knows where the Kraken might be had Lily been able to make more games but hey, 6th isn’t too bad and she should be in for playoffs. I should note that that projection of her being in for playoffs is based on nothing except the fact that Braun has yet to text me to complain about attendance.

Scoring Leaders Since Meg Entered The League (Summer 2019)

Rank	Name	GP	Goals	Assists	Points	PPG
1	Guido	49	60	19	79	1.61
2	Hicks	52	44	31	75	1.44
3	Meg	46	37	32	69	1.50
4	Tarnow	51	17	41	58	1.14
5	Neil	42	40	17	57	1.36
6	AK	42	31	26	57	1.36
7	Jack	46	33	22	55	1.20
8	Probie	35	41	13	54	1.54

Notes: Only Guido and the Meatbox have more points than Meg since she joined the league as a bright eyed 24 year old who liked to ice herself and throw up in people’s kitchenware at the rookie party. Now, with four straight ladies scoring titles and one foot out the door to Colorado, there’s an opening for the next great lady scorer to finally get her due, whoever she may be. Happy trails Meg; I’d say I’ll miss you, but no one would believe me.