Jewish Golden Calfs (-105)
Red Eyed Peas (-135)
Over 7.5 (-120)
Under 7.5 (-120)
Notes: Sadly we are not leading off this round of previews with any Zisser waterfall related content but not to worry because what we have in store is a treat just as sexy and possibly even more dangerous – the return of pirate shots to all of our lives. Invented by Blackbeard himself while he was sailing the high seas in the early 1700s (probably), historians disagree on whether the pirate shot has gotten more people laid or killed. Luckily for us, most people in this league are gamblers so we’ll find out soon enough. Oh, also supposedly there’s a hockey game that’s going to be played here. Looks like red has Carly subbing while gold has Jeff Green in net. This is also the first game Malik and Tash will play together since they were on orange in Spring 2023 which was literally a year ago despite this season technically being Fall 2023. Should I have renamed it Fall/Winter? Maybe. Do I care? Less than I care about my own well-being baby. Peas to win the game, pirate shots to win the night.
Bluebies (-1.0 Goals) (-155)
On Tuesdays We Wear Pink (+1.0 Goals) (+110)
Over 7.5 (-105)
Under 7.5 (-135)
Notes: You may have missed out on the Zisser waterfall pic (well not really, you can just go to Tuesdays previews of rained out games) but this is a matchup of that beloved most savage tier of goalies, both on the rink and in Nashville, as Jeff Green tends the goal for pink while Phelps makes his triumphant return to D5 where he was last seen giving a speech, then saying good speech during his own speech. Blue will be missing a bunch of players again including Brad, Andrew and Brita, but Cherie is in for a rare approved sub appearance. This is a really tough game to handicap as pink has a short but tight lineup while blue did look quite good on Tuesday and is in first place in points-per-game by a decent margin. Bluebies have to be favored because the public action is going to be all over them but I think this game will be closer than people think. They should still prevail though due to Simon’s law of whomever has more Canadian players in a game usually wins.
Bluebies (-1.5 Goals) (-180)
Jewish Golden Calfs (+1.5 Goals) (+135)
Over 7.5 (-105)
Under 7.5 (-125)
Notes: Not entire sure who’s subbing in net for gold or what blue’s lineup will be like for this one. I think this dude Rohan who no one has met besides possibly Corey and the guy’s family will make his debut but considering he hasn’t shown up to a game yet, who the hell knows. Gold should be mostly good to go, missing Joe, DRo and Reid but otherwise having everyone in. Well, except the goalie. Minsky will be launching shots from the logo, as is tradition but with three of their top defenders out of action (really three of their only defenders unless they subject us to the Yehuda show again), this will be an uphill climb for the calfs. Bluebies by two-bies. That joke will either never get old or got old from the first time I said it. Let’s hope it’s the former.
Bluebies (-1.5 Goals) (-260)
Big Deke Energy (+1.5 Goals) (+175)
Over 8.5 (-320)
Under 8.5 (+200)
Notes: The last 9 minutes and 40 seconds of the rained out game from Tuesday night. Even though there were less than 9 minutes on the clock, I went back and added time so that Mel considers complaining about matchups less than usual. Consequently, game will restart from the precise moment when Chad scored an utterly bizarre falling down goal which served as our cue to get the fuck out of there. And the bluebies, while undoubtedly an athletic powerhouse, will be playing after two full games while yellow will be totally fresh. There’s always a chance the Dekes come out and blitz them en route to a comeback. But a one goal lead late, especially with Phelps in net, is a pretty big advantage. Yellow did yeoman’s work in keeping the game super tight on Tuesday but I think an honorable mention, which they just received, is all they’ll get out of this one. The over feels like easy money but buyer beware.
Red Eyed Peas (+110)
On Tuesdays We Wear Pink (-155)
Over 7.5 (-110)
Under 7.5 (-130)
Notes: In my opinion, this is the game of the night. Last week pink surprised some (even though they were the sportsbook favorite) by beating down 1st place white 4-1 and this game will similarly test their top lineup against one of the top teams in the league. Red will be fresh off a two game layover after Nate and Tarnow pretty much begged everyone in the league to give them an extra game tonight no matter the cost and will have Ridzik subbing in net for Jacob. Pink has Ryann and Rachel Lee as their female tandem all night and Mo making his triumphant return to D5 hockey. Rachel has promised me no less than 10 games of flipcup while Mo has promised me nothing but knowing him he’ll deliver at least 100. As with last week, it may raise some eyebrows but I’m giving pink the edge in this one, by a close margin in the hockey game and by a earth shattering margin in the flipcup game.
Big Deke Energy (-3.0 Goals) (-185)
Bada Bing (+3.0 Goals) (+130)
Over 9.0 (-120)
Under 9.0 (-120)
Notes: Ah yes, the last game of the night on a Friday night. Both team’s attendance looks awful and I think it’s going to be like 40 degrees. Tired players, tired refs, cold weather, subs galore…should be absolutely magical. Hope everyone’s ready for the night (and the terrible morning to follow).
