Category: Betting Lines

Red Bunny (+1.5 Goals) (+160)The Big Green (-1.5 Goals) (-300)Over 7.0 Goals (-120)Under 7.0 Goals (-120) Notes: I was all set to make this line

Cookie Monsters (+1.0 Goals) (+140)Pinky Promise (-1.0 Goals) (-200)Over 7.0 Goals (EVEN)Under 7.0 Goals (-145) Notes: An extremely rare under game but it’s warranted here

Sexual Misconduct (+220)Hootie & The Doug Fish (-400)Over 7.0 Goals (-120)Under 7.0 Goals (-120) Notes: The problem with playing these games right after Nashville is

Show Bobs (+2.0 Goals) (-120)Double Teamed (-2.0 Goals) (-120)Over 8.0 Goals (-145)Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Before anyone asks: games tonight are a true 50/50

Red Day (-120)The Royal Sampler (-120)Over 7.0 Goals (-120)Under 7.0 Goals (-120) Notes: The amount of games on tonight’s schedule is truly daunting so these

Hockey At Glatt’s (-1.5 Goals) (-200)Attack Of The Pie Pie (+1.5 Goals) (+140)Over 8.5 Goals (-120)Under 8.5 Goals (-120) Notes: Orange will finally have their

Pink PanthersAttack Of The Pie Pie Notes: Another week, another gameday where I have no idea what the goalie situation is for the early game.

Double TeamedMerry Pranksters Notes: As has been the case a few times this year the writeups have been held in order for me to figure

Double Teamed (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Attack Of The Pie Pie (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)Over 8.5 Goals (-110)Under 8.5 Goals (-130) Notes: Two teams that not many expected

Sexual Misconduct (-1.0 Goals) (-120)Attack Of The Pie Pie (+1.0 Goals) (-120)Over 6.5 Goals (-120)Under 6.5 Goals (-120) Notes: The opening game of week seven

Hockey At Glatt’s (-2.0 Goals) (-120)Pink Panthers (+2.0 Goals) (-120)Over 8.5 Goals (-145)Under 8.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Rain, heat, smoke…all in a days work for

Red Day (-3.0 Goals) (-600)Merry Pranksters (+3.0 Goals) (+260) Notes: An insane situation in this one as the Pranksters still don’t have a goalie as

Show Bobs (+2.0 Goals) (-110)Red Day (-2.0 Goals) (-130)Over 8.5 Goals (-105)Under 8.5 Goals (-135) Notes: Red has Doug in goal and a female sub

Pink Panthers (-120)Red Day (-120)Over 7.5 Goals (-120)Under 7.5 Goals (-120) Notes: Just one of the most brutal days of D5 planning in the history

Attack Of The Pie Pie (-1.0 Goals) (-120)Show Bobs (+1.0 Goals) (-120)Over 8.0 Goals (-145)Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN) Notes: This is destined to be a

Show Bobs (+160)Hootie & The Doug Fish (-250) Over 8.0 Goals (-145)Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Extremely difficult to figure out where to set this

Merry Pranksters (+140)Shake ‘n Bake (-200)Over 7.0 Goals (-120)Under 7.0 Goals (-120) Notes: The opening game of the season features two proud longtime franchises seemingly

District Five ChampionshipHockey at Glatt’s (+250)Double Teamed (+250)Untitled Sex Team (+250)Shake ‘n Bake (+450)Red Day (+450)The Royal Sampler (+450)Hootie & The Doug Fish (+450)Attack Of

Bruise Control (+2.0 Goals) (+150)The Phantom Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-230)Over 6.5 Goals (EVEN)Under 6.5 Goals (-145) Notes: These teams met in the regular season

The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)Glazin’ Donuts (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Over 6.5 Goals (-105)Under 6.5 Goals (-135) Notes: The first two games of the evening

District Five ChampionshipThe Phantom Pie Pie (+150)Hockey at Glatt’s (+150)Sex Ed (+335)Chappell Red (+500)Merry Pranksters (+600)Bruise Control (+700)Glazin’ Donuts (+700)Street Meat (+1000)The UMass Football Team (+1000)Pinky Toe (+1500)

Chappell Red (-2.5 Goals) (-650)Sex Ed (+2.5 Goals) (+360)Over 8.5 Goals (-120)Under 8.5 Goals (-120) Notes: Blue was originally supposed to play at 9:50 against

Sex Ed (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)Hockey at Glatt’s (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Over 9.0 (-200)Under 9.0 (+140) Notes: This was the marquee game on the schedule with the

Hockey at Glatt’s (-2.0 Goals) (-230)The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (+150)Over 8.0 Goals (-120)Under 8.0 Goals (-120) Notes: At full strength, despite the vast

Merry Pranksters (-2.5 Goals) (-120)Baja Blast (+2.5 Goals) (-120)Over 9.0 Goals (-110)Under 9.0 Goals (-130) Notes: These teams met two weeks ago and the result

Bruise Control (+150)Chappell Red (-230)Over 7.5 Goals (-130)Under 7.5 Goals (-110) Notes: It’s been way too long since we did some kind of Les Mis

The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (-120)The Phantom Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-120)Over 7.5 Goals (-120)Under 7.5 Goals (-120) Notes: This would have been probably

Glazin’ Donuts (-2.5 Goals) (-120)The MilkMob (+2.5 Goals) (-120)Over 8.0 Goals (-145)Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN) Notes: The goaltending situation was looking pretty dire yesterday as

Pinky Toe (-1.0 Goals) (-230)Merry Pranksters (+1.0 Goals) (+150)Over 7.5 Goals (-145)Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Pink rolls into this matchup badly in need of

District Five ChampionshipSex Ed, Hockey at Glatt’s or The Phantom Pie Pie (-135)Field (-110) Team To Make Final FourHockey at Glatt’s (-300)Glazin’ Donuts (-250)The Phantom

Reminder: All game streams can now be found on the league YouTube page. We will also be testing out an AI cameraman tonight for the

The MilkMob (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)Sex Ed (-1.5 Goals) (-145)Over 7.5 Goals (-135)Under 7.5 Goals (-105) Notes: The opening game of the season for both teams

Baja Blast (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)The Phantom Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Over 7.0 Goals (-130)Under 7.0 Goals (-110) Notes: The opening game of the season sees

District Five ChampionshipSex Ed (+300)Glazin’ Donuts (+300)Hockey at Glatt’s (+600)Chappell Red (+600)The MilkMob (+600)Street Meat (+600)The UMass Football Team (+600)The Phantom Pie Pie (+600)Pinky Toe (+600)Bruise Control (+800)Merry

Hockey at Glatt’s (+1.5 Goals) (-120)Great Sexpectations (-1.5 Goals) (-120)Over 6.5 Goals (-120)Under 6.5 Goals (-120) Notes: The first matchup of championship weekend pits a

I’m Schvitzing (+2.5 Goals) (+140)Return Of The Clap (-2.5 Goals) (-200)Over 6.5 Goals (-145)Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: At full strength this would have been

Legally Blonde (-4.0 Goals) (-130)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+4.0 Goals) (-110)Over 9.5 Goals (-145)Under 9.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: This is a tough line to

A$$ Fault Green (+2.0 Goals) (+150)Return Of The Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-230)Over 7.5 Goals (-145)Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: This Rosh Hashana, celebrate the

A$$ Fault Green (+4.0 Goals) (-120)Hockey at Glatt’s (-4.0 Goals) (-120)Over 8.5 Goals (-120)Under 8.5 Goals (-120) Notes: I’m in Shelter Island and have only

Purple Monkey Dishwasher (EVEN)Return Of The Pie Pie (-145)Over 6.5 Goals (-145)Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Game two of a three game series between these

Legally Blonde (-1.5 Goals) (-200)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+1.5 Goals) (+140)Over 7.5 Goals (-145)Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN) Notes: Cup Size is missing so many

Return Of The Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-120)Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+2.0 Goals) (-120)Over 6.5 Goals (-130)Under 6.5 Goals (-110) Notes: This is the first leg

My Cup Size Is Stanley (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)Rediohead (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Over 5.5 (-105)Under 5.5 (-135) Notes: The Friday night special with both teams of course

Rediohead (-200)Legally Blonde (+140)Over 5.5 Goals (EVEN)Under 5.5 Goals (-145) Notes: AI still has a long way to go as can be seen by the

Return Of The Clap (-145)The Mighty Ducks (EVEN)Over 6.5 Goals (-120)Under 6.5 Goals (-120) Notes: This is a rematch of a matchup that happened three

Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)Rediohead (-1.5 Goals) (-145)Over 5.0 Goals (-120)Under 5.0 Goals (-120) Notes: Ah yes, a return to the old days of

The Mighty Ducks (-1.5 Goals) (-145)Legally Blonde (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)Over 6.5 Goals (EVEN)Under 6.5 Goals (-145) Notes: I’m not entirely sure why AI turned the

Return Of The Pie Pie (-3.0 Goals) (-115)Hockey at Glatt’s (+3.0 Goals) (-125)Over 7.0 Goals (-130)Under 7.0 Goals (-110) Notes: It’s opening day at D5

District Five ChampionshipUntitled Sex Team (+180)Return Of The Pie Pie (+250)Return Of The Clap (+300)The MilkMob (+400)Rediohead (+400)I’m Schvitzing (+500)The Mighty Ducks (+500)A$$ Fault Green

The Mighty Ducks (-120)Fertilizin’ Eggs (-120)Over 8.0 Goals (-105)Under 8.0 Goals (-135) Notes: This is sort of an absurd over/under to set for a semifinal

Mean Girls (+2.0 Goals) (-105)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-2.0 Goals) (-135)Over 7.0 Goals (-120)Under 7.0 Goals (-120) Notes: These teams met in week 1

The Pie Pie Strikes Back (-2.5 Goals) (-200)Mean Girls (+2.5 Goals) (+135)Over 8.0 Goals (-120)Under 8.0 Goals (-120) Notes: Had orange lost to purple last

The Pie Pie Strikes Back (-145)Slime Time Live (EVEN)Over 6.5 Goals (-120)Under 6.5 Goals (-120) Notes: This is a battle between two teams who I

Silver Stallions (+2.5 Goals) (+125)The Pie Pie Strikes Back (-2.5 Goals) (-170)Over 8.0 Goals (-130)Under 8.0 Goals (-110) Notes: After a long wait for orange,

Team To Win The ChampionshipSex Education or Fertilizin’ Eggs (-160)Field (+110) Team To Win The ChampionshipThe MilkMob, The Mighty Ducks or My Cup Size Is

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-2.0 Goals) (-145)Mean Girls (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)Over 6.5 Goals (-120)Under 6.5 Goals (-120) Notes: This is basically just a two

Fertilizin’ Eggs (+135)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-200)Over 6.5 Goals (-135)Under 6.5 Goals (-105) Notes: Another day spent tracking weather forecasts instead of really looking

Silver Stallions (+1.5 Goals) (-105)Mean Girls (-1.5 Goals) (-135)Over 7.5 Goals (-120)Under 7.5 Goals (-120) Notes: The opening game of the evening is a possible

Silver Stallions (+2.0 Goals) (-105)The Pie Pie Strikes Back (-2.0 Goals) (-135)Over 7.0 Goals (-160)Under 7.0 Goals (+115) Notes: Tough to adequately describe how hungover

Reds N’ Roses (-120)The Mighty Ducks (-120)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: Wow, it’s legitimately weird to actually have to put out betting lines on