Category: Betting Lines

Merry Pranksters (-2.5 Goals) (-130)The Golden Girls (+2.5 Goals) (-110)Over 8.0 (-130)Under 8.0 (-110) Notes: Both teams, after requesting the first week+ off for Passover, should have most

Mojo Jojo (+1.5 Goals) (+150)The Smurfs (-1.5 Goals) (-225)Over 7.5 (-130)Under 7.5 (-110) Notes: Two teams drafted by me face off in the first game of the

Julie’s Football Club (+4.0 Goals) (+150)Merry Pranksters (-4.0 Goals) (-220)Over 9.5 (-120)Under 9.5 (-120) Notes: Week one of the Spring season kicks off with probably the worst goalie

District Five ChampionshipBlue (+150)Mojo Jojo (+300)The Hart Foundation (+300)Clappin’ Cheeks (+300)Oh Deer (+360)Merry Pranksters (+360)Mel’s Power Trip (+450)Red Cheeks (+625)The Golden Girls (+1000)Julie’s Football Club

Big Deke Energy (-120)Red Eyed Peas (-120)Over 8.0 (-120)Under 8.0 (-120) Notes: An elite matchup between two of the elite teams in the league. You

Unfortunately I don’t have enough photos of Ridzik for any type of variety in the images I post with his usually unhinged commentary. I’ve known

Bada Bing (+210)96th Street Bastards (-340)Over 8.0 Goals (-120)Under 8.0 Goals (-120) Notes: Finally, the playoffs are back so this calls for the Tony Soprano

Merry Pranksters (-120)Jewish Golden Calfs (-120)Over 7.5 (-120)Under 7.5 (-120) Notes: The Fall 2023 season wraps up this evening with a short two game slate that

Bluebies (-1.5 Goals) (-145)Merry Pranksters (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)Over 7.5 (-130)Under 7.5 (-110) Notes: The Pranksters finally have their big guns in for a game as Gelman will be

Jewish Golden Calfs (-105)Red Eyed Peas (-135)Over 7.5 (-120)Under 7.5 (-120) Notes: Sadly we are not leading off this round of previews with any Zisser waterfall related content

96th Street Bastards (+120)Shooting Blancs (-165)Over 7.5 (-110)Under 7.5 (-130) Notes: It’s that magical day of the year that everyone looks forward to when the world

District Five ChampionshipBlue (+155)Red (+240)White (+240)Black, Yellow or Tie Dye (+300)Pink, Gold or Purple (+300) Which Team Will Finish Higher In The Standings?Jewish Golden Calfs

Red Eyed Peas (-120)Big Deke Energy (-120)Over 9.0 (-120)Under 9.0 (-120) Notes: The Lonely Island themed betting lines for week 4 were so well received that I

Shooting Blancs (-3.5 Goals) (-160)Merry Pranksters (+3.5 Goals) (+115)Over 8.5 (-110)Under 8.5 (-130) Notes: Yes indeed it is week 4 of the Fall 2023 season despite what your

After a long than expected hiatus, we are somehow back in just one week’s time. In lieu of a really nice welcome back email about

On Tuesdays We Wear Pink (+2.0 Goals) (-105)Merry Pranksters (-2.0 Goals) (-135)Over 7.0 (-120)Under 7.0 (-120) Notes: Sick throwback pic to the time it rained during the semis

Big Deke Energy (-180)Red Eyed Peas (+135) Notes: Red enter the season with their lowest preseason ranking since Nate took over and with some skepticism about

The Lavender Llamas (-120)MelRose Place (-120)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130)Notes: The Llamas were left for dead by much of the public, evidenced by the results of

The Mighty Mensches (+2.0 Goals) (+145)The Lavender Llamas (-2.0 Goals) (-200)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120)Notes: The Llamas should be rolling out a mostly full lineup

Hubba Bubba (-2.0 Goals) (-200)The Mighty Mensches (+2.0 Goals) (+150)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Alex Notes: Pink gets Cherie and Amanda subbing even though Amanda kind of has

Green Street Hooligans (+170)Vegas Golden Knights (-240)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: A total shitshow of a night with most teams playing unbelievably short. Green

Jess was feeling left out of the weekly previews so she has made her return as my annual #collab partner. Of course, she couldn’t do

Green Street Hooligans (+105)Shooting Blancs (-150)Over 6.0 (-135)Under 6.0 (-105) Alex Notes: The long awaited showdown between Simon and Yehuda plays out as the opening

The Lavender Llamas (-120)Shooting Blancs (-120)Over 7.5 (-150)Under 7.5 (+110) Alex Notes: Previews tonight are going to be short and bizarre because a) it might

MelRose Place (-260)Green Street Hooligans (+185)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: Welcome to Week 9 where, completely tired of the monotony of coming up with creative

Julie’s Football Club (-300)The Mighty Mensches (+200)Over 6.5 (-110)Under 6.5 (-130) Notes: Short capsule-esque previews for tonight because who the hell knows if these games are

Blueberry Bulldogs (-120)Hubba Bubba (-120)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: A truly difficult line to make on both the winner and the total. The Bulldogs will

The Mighty Mensches (+1.5 Goals) (+130)Green Street Hooligans (-1.5 Goals) (-185)Over 7.0 (-105)Under 7.0 (-135) Notes: Before these half-assed previews of tonights games I felt it

Red Zeppelin (EVEN)The Lavender Llamas (-145)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130) Notes: There is legit only so much I can write about a slate of games

Merry Pranksters (-110)Hubba Bubba (-130)Over 6.5 (-110)Under 6.5 (-130) Notes: Two teams wearing bright colored pride-adjacent jerseys kick off week four as the Pranksters travel to

District Five ChampionshipRed Zeppelin (+330)Julie’s Football Club (+330)Blueberry Bulldogs (+420)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+420)The Lavender Llamas (+600)Shooting Blancs (+600)Vegas Golden Knights (+600)MelRose Place (+600)Green Street Hooligans (+800)Merry Pranksters

Hubba Bubba (+125)Red Zepplin (-165)Over 6.5 (-130)Under 6.5 (-110) Notes: In honor of two teams with a bunch of players on the Upper East Side, throwback to

Julie’s Football Club (-145)Green Street Hooligans (EVEN)Over 6.0 (-130)Under 6.0 (-110) Notes: We started this night with five games and at the time of this writing are

Julie’s Football Club (-110)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-130)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: A championship rematch sees Hicks raise the Hippos banner with longtime friend/enemy Jahk McGinty

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipVegas Golden Knights (+420)Red Zeppelin (+420)Blueberry Bulldogs (+420)The Lavender Llamas (+420)Julie’s Football Club (+420)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+550)The Mighty Mensches (+650)Green

Julie’s Football Club (+150)I Just Blue Myself (-200)Over 5.0 (-130)Under 5.0 (-110) Public Perception: Notes: These teams are close to mirror images of each other due to

Medium Rare (+110)Shooting Blancs (-155)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Public Perception: Notes: The public is exactly split on this one, as they should be. Both

District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+185)Green Street Hooligans (+280)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+315)Chili Peppers (+420)Julie’s Football Club (+420)MelRose Place (+500)The Narwhals (+670)Shooting Blancs (+1000)Medium Rare

The Narwhals (+120)Julie’s Football Club (-165)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: Four massive games for standings position tonight starting with this clash of teams who have 15 points

Julie’s Football Club (+120)I Just Blue Myself (-165)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: Blue plays orange in the opening game of the night and what

Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-140)Chili Peppers (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: I’m fielding nonstop texts about whether we’re playing tonight or not and checking the weather

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+250)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)The Narwhals (+380)Julie’s Football Club (+475)Green Street

I Just Blue Myself (-370)Chili Peppers (+235)Over 6.0 (-135)Under 6.0 (-105) Notes: Sam and KG are out for red while Campbell is a GTD at

Julie’s Football Club (-280)MelRose Place (+200)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: Lots of absences tonight for yellow as they will not have Wes or Danilo for

Shooting Blancs (+185)Green Street Hooligans (-270)Over 5.5 (-135)Under 5.5 (-105) Notes: Classic Friday as everyone is missing players and I am violently hungover from a random Thursday

I Just Blue Myself (-700)Shooting Blancs (+380)I Just Blue Myself (-3.0 Goals) (+105)Shooting Blancs (+3.0 Goals) (-155)Over 5.5 (-130)Under 5.5 (-110) Notes: This is a

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+280)The Narwhals (+320)MelRose Place (+320)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+320)Chili Peppers (+370)Julie’s Football Club

Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-140)The Narwhals (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) Notes: These teams will face off in a rematch of Friday’s thriller where the Hippos stormed back from

Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-135)The Narwhals (-105)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) Notes: The next chapter in the storied rivalry of purple and yellow takes a new turn

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+350)MelRose Place (+350)Julie’s Football Club (+350)Green Street Hooligans

Medium Rare (-140)Chili Peppers (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: Tell everyone that Sam now lives in Montreal and will be a flight risk for pretty much

Julie’s Football Club (+150)Medium Rare (-200)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: A classic opening day attendance shitshow as pink had no ladies and orange had

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+300)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)MelRose Place (+360)Julie’s Football Club (+360)Green Street Hooligans

Julie’s Football Club (+140)YeHooligan’s Heroes (-180)Over 5.0 (-130)Under 5.0 (-110) Notes: Two teams who surprisingly finished in the bottom two spots face off in the play-in game. While

District Five ChampionshipEJ Entertainment (+130)Pinky Swear $#*! (+200)Shooting Blancs (+275)The Muskies (+275)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+330)MelRose Place (+500)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+625)Julie’s Football Club (+800)Red Rockets (+800) Team To Appear In District Five Championship GameEJ

Shooting Blancs (-120)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) What They’re Playing For: With a win in this game the Blancs will clinch a 3rd

Julie’s Football Club (+140)EJ Entertainment (-185)Over 5.5 (-130)Under 5.5 (-110) Notes: Short and sweet previews because goalie situation is a shitshow, I’m leaving immediately after game 1, weather

The Muskies (-120)Shooting Blancs (-120)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: Simon saw me play multiple full games on defense and tie him in total points

The Muskies (-155)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+115)Over 5.5 (-135)Under 5.5 (-105) Notes: A five game slate tonight with a 4:00 Yankee playoff game throwing a wrench into things and likely

With October being Halloween month and the writer of this piece being a big fan of The Nightmare Before Christmas despite being Jewish, plus the