Week 9 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)

Looks painful. Also weird to see Probert without the Jesus hair.

Julie’s Football Club (+140)
EJ Entertainment (-185)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

Notes: Short and sweet previews because goalie situation is a shitshow, I’m leaving immediately after game 1, weather is disgusting and I’ve spent my entire day trying to track insider trading (we’ll see if it works out or not). In the meantime there is a total disaster of a goalie situation as goalies were needed for every game and somehow the hero who emerged from this was Simon. That’s right he plays defense, he plays forward when he needs to juice his stats and now he plays goal when we’re desperate. He told me he wanted to be promoted to assistant commissioner next season. I would’ve said he could be assistant to the commissioner if I thought he was an Office fan but instead I just told him to fuck off. Anyhow, we appreciate his fine service and (hopefully) his commitment to make an honest effort in all the games and not base it on where teams are in the standings. For this one, Julie won’t have multiple players as usual including Danilo, Tom and Daly. Blue will have their standard roster of 7-9 players. Even with no idea how Simon will play, I’m giving the edge to EJ Entertainment. Strippers for Simon if we win (real offer).

Shooting Blancs (-140)
Red Rockets (EVEN)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

Notes: Game 2, Simon takes the net for his own team. Unfortunately his presence in net means he won’t be playing out for his team which puts them in a bit of a bind. Lucky for them red hasn’t had their 1st round pick Corey (the forward) since game 2 so I still think white will pull out the W. Line is void if Neil or Cara don’t play.

YeHooligan’s Heroes (+110)
Pinky Swear $#*! (-150)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

Notes: Simon rolls into game 3 subbing in goal for one of these teams. I have no idea which one but don’t know if it really matters – green’s attendance has been so poor this season and pink has found ways to win even with Wes missing most of their games. No idea what these lineups look like but Jess is already drinking which I take to be a good sign for Pink. Without Jeff Green it won’t be easy but I think they pull out the victory.

Red Rockets (+105)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-150)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

Notes: Jenn seems to have most of her roster coming in including Hicks and AJ. Red won’t have Corey the player and aren’t 100% sure if Corey the goalie is coming either. Advantage: boobs. Cup Size to win and make their final push for a top 4 seed.

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