Blueberry Bulldogs (-120)
Hubba Bubba (-120)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)
Notes: A truly difficult line to make on both the winner and the total. The Bulldogs will be without two of their four dmen in Ariel and Brian while Hubba Bubba will rock a full roster, minus their goalie Eli which has been standard this season as he embarks on the work project from hell. They do get Simon as a goalie sub who is either the luckiest or the best goaltender in the league with two shutouts in three games. He also may be the league’s most cowardly one after cancelling the tennis match we were supposed to play today, breaking both mine and Sal’s hearts as Sal was going to come to the courts, bring weed and possibly livestream the whole thing for the fans. Although pink’s lost two of three games this season, they were to the Hippos and Zepplin, the two top teams in the power rankings, while also owning an impressive win over the white hot Pranksters. Meanwhile the total is near impossible to make with two excellent goalies, blue giving up very little and pink scoring a ton but giving up a ton as well. No one’s been giving either of these teams much respect this season despite blue not having lost a game yet and pink having a brutal strength of schedule and no goalie to start the season. I rate this game as a complete and total toss-up and have no idea what to make of it except that people on pink will probably be yelling at some point.
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-4.0 Goals) (-200)
The Mighty Mensches (+4.0 Goals) (+150)
Over 7.0 (-135)
Under 7.0 (-105)
Notes: No way around it: this game might get ugly. The Mensches have 8 guys showing up but 4-5 of their players out because of softball commitments, including several of their best, and Simon in goal. Simon in net is both a blessing because he has two shutouts in three games and a curse because he’s been badgering Hicks about why he wouldn’t let Gelman sub all game which is just making Hicks angrier and angrier. He might legitimately be steaming from the ears like a Looney Tunes villain by the time of opening faceoff which is really not great for a guy who almost definitely takes steroids. The Mensches will be getting one lady sub for sure and possibly a second if Annika’s train is delayed, which it currently seems to be. This is a difficult line to make because Simon generally is very strong in net but outside of James P I’m not quite sure who is going to score for maroon. Unless Hicks has a last minute change of heart and lets Gelman or someone similar sub, this is the largest line in league history with the Hippos favored by 4.0 goals and juiced at that. Just like the first game, I’m not touching this line with a 10 foot pole which was really the point of the line because this could be anything. Either a career game from Simon leading to honorary Judaism or a Hippos 8 goal win leading to accusations of anti-semitism. Take your pick.
Just for good measure, here’s a little throwback to the last time Simon subbed in net against the Hippos.
Vegas Golden Knights (-155)
Hubba Bubba (+110)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)
Notes: Hubba Bubba plays their second game of the night and it’s kind of Kolenberg’s worst nightmare as they have a layover between games which means players will surely be boozing while Neil will almost definitely be high (if he wasn’t already for the first game). Meanwhile the Golden Knights will roll in fresh off an impressive 5-3 win over orange on Friday despite missing their first rounder, Tom Fitz. I think Vegas has to be favored in this one but pink is a super high variance team with only three games played and a roster full of sickos. Give me gold to win and the Campbell Bros to score 2+ goals. Oh, here’s another Simon quote about playing three games in a row.
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-145)
The Lavender Llamas (EVEN)
Over 6.5 (-110)
Under 6.5 (-130)
Notes: This line looks too good to be true but with the Hippos on the back-end of a back-to-back, which usually doesn’t matter but might in 87 degree heat, and the Llamas having a mostly full lineup for the first time this season this game is going to be closer than you think, certainly closer than the 6-1 decision the Hippos took back in Week 3. Adding to the intrigue is that John McGinty, father of Jack and semi YouTube celebrity, will be in the stands watching this one and, from what I’ve been told, cheering for Annie rather than Jack. Hopefully he brings some kind of sign alluding to the laws of the jungle as this is the second game of the three game series between these teams known as The Kingdom Cup. Purple has to win this to have a chance to a) win the series and b) get out of the play-in matchups. At even money with a mostly full lineup except Josh who is tragically dead out for the season with an ACL tear, the Llamas are worth a shot here at even money playing in front of a home crowd. Pags to come back from injury and either lead his team to victory or fight Oberg.
Merry Pranksters (-145)
Vegas Golden Knights (EVEN)
Over 6.5 (-115)
Under 6.5 (-125)
Notes: These are two of the top teams in the league, both overall and especially offensively, and tonight we will be treated to a true clash of titans in the west coast game (obviously a late start since this game’s being played at the Cosmo). The Pranksters have been absolutely scorching as of late, winning their last 3 games by a combined score of 18-2 and leading the league with 4.83 goals per game, the top two scorers in the scoring race and the current top spot in the league standings. Meanwhile Vegas dropped a season opening decision to MelRose 4-0 after losing Tom mid-game but since then have won both of their games, scoring a combined 12 goals in the process. Offensively the Pranksters have been absolutely rolling especially when the Derek/Gelman/Fullam line is out there but Vegas has the deepest defense in the league, Jeff Green in net and a deep roster that could give tie dye some serious problems. Although the public will surely be on the Pranksters after what they did to the Llamas and Zeppelin on Friday, I’m once again going contrarian and taking a chance on Vegas to make a statement in taking down the league’s top team. Give me VGK at even money, probably the best price you’ll get them at for the rest of the season.