Category: Betting Lines

The Sexy Ducks (-120)Green Street Hooligans (-120)Over 6.5 (-125)Under 6.5 (-115) Notes: This is the first match of the night and the first match of the season

WEEK ONE CONCLUSION LINE (Cup Size Leads 3-2 with 8:40 left):My Cup Size Is Stanley (-190)The Barrel (+140)Over 6.0 (-200)Under 6.0 (+150) FULL GAME LINEMy Cup Size

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipThe Sexy Ducks (+230)Green Street Hooligans (+250)The Barrel (+300)Hungry Hippos (+300)The Goaldiggers (+325)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+325)Frothing Hyenas (+400)Orange

The Goaldiggers (-140)The Sexy Ducks (EVEN)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130) Notes: As usual I have no idea if these games are actually going to go down but

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)The Barrel (-120)Over 6.0 (-130)Under 6.0 (-110) Notes: The opening game of the Summer/Fall 2021 season sees Jenn, Max and their

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipThe Sexy Ducks (+230)Green Street Hooligans (+300)The Barrel (+300)Hungry Hippos (+330)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+330)The Goaldiggers (+330)Orange Royals (+400)Frothing

Sex Panthers (-105)Spicy Tuna Rolls (-135)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130) Notes: The Spicy Tuna Rolls and Sex Panthers face off for the third time this

Hungry Hippos (EVEN)The Goaldiggers (-140)Over 6.0 (-125)Under 6.0 (-115) Notes: The first playoff matchup of the Spring 2021 season features a super talented Hippos squad

Green Street Hooligans (+105)Crimson Wave (-145)Over 6.0 (-125)Under 6.0 (-115) Notes: This is the game most likely to actually be played tonight so as such, it

*All lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipSpicy Tuna Rolls (+275)Sex Panthers (+300)Crimson Wave (+300)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+300)The Goaldiggers (+350)Green Street Hooligans (+350)Hungry Hippos (+420) Team

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-135)The Goaldiggers (-105)Over 6.0 (-130)Under 6.0 (-110) Notes: Cup Size and The Goaldiggers, two of the preseason favorites, roll into this

Sex Panthers (-135)Crimson Wave (-105)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: Crimson Wave looks to get their first win of the season tonight as they face

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)Sex Panthers (-120)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: It’s been two long weeks since we played together and at long last, our rain

Green Street Hooligans (-120)Crimson Wave (-120)Over 6.0 (-125)Under 6.0 (-115) Notes: I have no idea if these games are going to be played – honestly I can’t even

The Goaldiggers (-145)Sex Panthers (+105)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: It’s a showdown in depravity as the Vegas-based Goaldiggers head to their local sex club to face

*All lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipMy Cup Size Is Stanley (+250)The Goaldiggers (+280)Sex Panthers (+320)Hungry Hippos (+320)Spicy Tuna Rolls (+320)Crimson Wave (+360)Green Street Hooligans (+420) Team

Spicy Tuna Rolls Horny Helmet Men (EVEN)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-140)Over 6.0 (-105)Under 6.0 (-135) Notes: The first matchup of the night is a rematch of last

Green Street Hooligans (-110)The Goaldiggers (-130)Over 6.5 (-105)Under 6.5 (-135) Notes: A man sitting on a bus home from Atlantic City has a lot of thoughts to

*All lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipMy Cup Size Is Stanley (+250)Crimson Wave (+300)Sex Panthers (+300)The Goaldiggers (+300)Green Street Hooligans (+375)Hungry Hippos (+375)Spicy Tuna Rolls (+375) Team

Hungry Hippos (-165)Spicy Tuna Rolls (+125)Over 7.0 (-120)Under 7.0 (-120) Notes: We are less than one game into the Spring 2021 season and I am already

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipMy Cup Size Is Stanley (+250)Crimson Wave (+300)Sex Panthers (+300)The Goaldiggers (+300)Green Street Hooligans (+375)Hungry Hippos (+375)Spicy Tuna Rolls (+650)

My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN)Captain Morgen’s Pirates (-140)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: It’s the first game in Pirates franchise history as they head to Cup

Scoring Title – Believe it or not, the scoring title has been won by a different player every season: Probie, Jeff, Derek, Hicks and Hogg. 

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipCaptain Morgen’s Pirates (+230)Purple Tuna (+250)Green Street Hooligans (+250)Hungry Hippos (+285)Sexier (+285)Crimson Wave (+350)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+350)Goal Diggers (+400)

Green Street Hooligans (+110)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-150)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: In a rematch of a controversial week 9 matchup where Probie

Purple People Eaters (+225)Stud Puffins (-300)Purple People Eaters (+2.0 Goals) (-120)Stud Puffins (-2.0 Goals) (-120)Over 5.5 (-125)Under 5.5 (-115) Notes: The Puffins will be without Derek for this one, as

Green Street Hooligans (-110)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-130)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) Notes: In the game with the least subs on the night (thank god

Purple People Eaters (+125)Stud Puffins (-165)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: It’s subapalooza over at D5 tonight as the penultimate week of the season sees

Stud Puffins (-120)Backdoor Bandits (-120)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: Two teams in the middle of the pack open up week 7 in a pivotal

Hungry Hippos (-135)Goonies (-105)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: The Rehabs take on Mega Sunday afternoon but for an hour on Friday, Cherie will do

The Charging Cheetahs (-350)Purple People Eaters (+250)The Charging Cheetahs (-3.0) (EVEN)Purple People Eaters (+3.0) (-140)Over 5.5 (-130)Under 5.5 (-110) Notes: The Cheetahs will have Jeff Green

Stud Puffins (-105)Hungry Hippos (-135)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: The Hippos are coming off an eight goal outburst against the Purple People Eaters last week,

District Five ChampionshipHungry Hippos (+225) Green Street Hooligans (+225)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+225)Goonies (+250)Stud Puffins (+250)The Charging Cheetahs (+275)Backdoor Bandits (+300)Purple People Eaters (+700) District Five Scoring TitleHogg (+130)Hicks (+180)Nate (+220)Derek (+250)Probie (+270)Cheeky

Green Street Hooligans (-130)The Charging Cheetahs (-110)Over 5.5 (-105)Under 5.5 (-135) Notes: Rachel Solgon is in for the Cheetahs in place of Carlin while Max, originally

Hungry Hippos (-120)Green Street Hooligans (-120)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: Barch is out for this one, replaced by Jeff Green who surprisingly does appear to

District Five ChampionshipStud Puffins (+200)Hungry Hippos (+225) Green Street Hooligans (+225)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+240)The Charging Cheetahs (+240)Backdoor Bandits (+269)Goonies (+280)Purple People Eaters (+420) District Five Scoring Title Derek (+200)Probie (+235)Hicks (+260)Hogg (+260)Austin

My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN)Goonies (-140)Over 5.5 (-135)Under 5.5 (-105) Notes: The fall season kicks off with a matchup of undermanned teams. Post-holiday games are

District Five ChampionshipThe Charging Cheetahs (+220)Stud Puffins (+220)Green Street Hooligans (+250)Goonies (+250)Backdoor Bandits (+250)Hungry Hippos (+250) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+275)Purple People Eaters (+350) Team To Score The Most GoalsThe

District Five ChampionshipMy Cup Size Is Stanley (+200)Goonies (+200)Winter Is Coming (+220)Hungry Hippos (+250)Purple Parrots (+250)Rainy Day Kids Club (+270)Chosen 1s (+270)The Charging Cheetahs (+290)

It’s the end of the season that seemed like it might never end.  Thankfully, the forecast currently looks clear and we are not cancelling for

It’s the last week of the regular season with all sorts of playoff implications on the line.  Half the goalies are missing but thankfully the Parrots

District Five Championship Cleveland Browns (+160) Team Sexy (+190) Hungry Hippos (+200) The Charging Cheetahs (+230) Ball That (+230) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+260) Purple Parrots (+280) The Varsity Warriors (+280)  

Hungry Hippos (-130) The Charging Cheetahs (-110) Over 7.0 Goals (-120) Under 7.0 Goals (-120) The pick: The opening game of the slate sees two contenders who could

Hungry Hippos (-140) The Varsity Warriors (EVEN) Over 7.0 Goals (-120) Under 7.0 Goals (-120) The pick: The Hippos are on a roll, #1 in the league in

The Charging Cheetahs (-105) Cleveland Browns (-135) Over 6.0 Goals (-120) Under 6.0 Goals (-120) The pick: The Cheetahs, fresh off their first regular season loss in team

Making these lines from a bus uptown so no long-winded writeups, let’s get to it… Purple Parrots (-120) Ball That (-120) Notes: Pete is out

Purple Parrots (-140) My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN) Over 8.5 Goals (+110) Under 8.5 Goals (-150) The pick: Two teams who absolutely need a win in the

Ball That (-160) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+120) Over 8.5 Goals (-120) Under 8.5 Goals (-120) The pick: Two teams coming off week one losses will look

District Five Championship Team Sexy (+190) The Charging Cheetahs (+190) Cleveland Browns (+225) Ball That (+225) Hungry Hippos (+225) The Varsity Warriors (+240) Purple Parrots (+260) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+260) Team

District Five Championship Ball That (+200) The Charging Cheetahs (+200) The Varsity Warriors (+230) Team Sexy (+230) Cleveland Browns (+230) Hungry Hippos (+230) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+260)

Well, our first season is in the books and with that, we give out the coveted awards everyone’s been waiting for.  No, not the championship

*For those who may not be total degenerates – when you bet on -150, it means you would have to wager $150 to win $100

District 5 Bracket Challenge Pick the winners in each round and your District 5 Champions correctly and win half off Fall dues.  Free to enter;

*For those who may not be total degenerates – when you bet on -150, it means you would have to wager $150 to win $100

District Five Championship The Charging Cheetahs (+170) The Varsity Warriors (+210) My Cup Size Is Stanley (+210) Team Sexy (+250) Hungry Hippos (+375) Bombay’s A Sham (+375) Team To

Bombay’s A Sham (-110)                     o 8.0 (+110) Hungry Hippos (-130)                 

Team Sexy (-130)                                  o 8.0 (-130) The Charging Cheetahs (-110)