Makeup Week Betting Lines (Spring 2019)

Hungry Hippos(-120)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)
Over 6.0 (-135)
Under 6.0 (-105)

The Pick: Two archrivals battling for playoff seeding kick off what I sincerely hope is the final Tuesday of this regular season. The two teams are tied at 11 points, with Cup Size holding the tiebreaker by virtue of having more regulation wins. However, while both teams have two games left to play, Cup Size is already down 3-0 in their other game (more on that later) while the Hippos will conclude their season with the highly anticipated Fireball Bowl (possibly to be renamed the Fire Bowl). According to the attendance sheet Jenn sent me the link to in March then probably forgot I had, Gabe is a game time decision for this one while the Hippos are still missing league weatherman Sebastian to a long-term hamstring injury that has the potential to sideline him for the playoffs. Cup Size is coming off a dramatic victory over the first place Goonies where they gave the white team their first loss of the season, and if Gabe and Hogg are both in the lineup the odds are their desperation will swing this contest their way, knowing they badly need this game if they are to have any hope of attaining a first round bye. In a tantalizing toss-up of a match, take the home team.

A hippo with huge breasts…what can I say, Rocko’s Modern Life was weird.

The Charging Cheetahs (-300)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+220)
Over 7.0 (-125)
Under 7.0 (-115)

The Pick: The Cheetahs lead this game 3-0 with just over eight minutes to go in the 2nd period, on multi-point efforts from SBJ and Chris Snell. The Cheetahs have frustrated teams all season with their speed but it’s their commitment to defense which has really driven their late season surge as they have allowed a league low 17 goals this season. Though Cup Size will no doubt pull out all the stops to turn the momentum in this contest, the Cheetahs know that if they can hang on in this one and win their late night matchup with the Kids Club, they will clinch at least a #4 seed (which will give them a bye through the play-in round) and have a shot at the #2 seed (which would give them a bye directly into the final four). The fans who paid big money for a Tuesday night doubleheader at Cup Size stadium are no doubt hoping to see their team pull a major upset in coming back from a three goal deficit, but against the stingiest defensive team in the league it’s looking very unlikely.

Hungry Hippos (-105)
Winter Is Coming (-135)
Over 7.0 (-130)
Under 7.0 (-110)

The Pick: In the highly anticipated Fire Bowl, two of the highest scoring teams in the league face off with more than just a bottle of cinnamon flavored whiskey on the line. Hicks’ group has nom-nom-nomed their way to three straight victories and four in their last five, their only loss in that span coming in a wild makeup game against the Parrots that saw four goals scored in the second, five goals scored in the third, three separate instances of two goals being scored within a minute of each other and, perhaps most shockingly, Lee Becker scoring a goal. The Hippos are hot, but Winter Is Coming, even if you were disappointed by Sunday’s often bizarre Thrones finale (seriously, who gives a fuck what Grey Worm thinks?). Winter will be without the services of Luke, Kelsey and Josh Rosen, with Jeremy still waiting out his injured hamstring and Ryan doubtful due to the fact that his wife could literally go into labor at any minute (she might be in labor right now as I write this). World renowned chiropractor and celebrated league ringer Mike T will take the place of Luke while Andrea will do her best Kelsey impression, presumably minus the pregame alcoholism. The first Fire Bowl produced one of the finest games of Zisser’s career and there’s no word on if Hicks has anything planned for Mike and Adam’s first game against the franchise they called home for one memorable and one not-so-memorable season. It’s a tough game to call but if their team goal totals are any indication, despite having two of the OG D5 goalies in Zisser and Dave, these teams are going to go full-octane and try to bury each other with goals, especially with Hicks and Tadpole holding outside shots at the scoring title while Ariel sits in pole position for the Brian Leetch award. Take the over.

Winter Is Coming (-145)
Rainy Day Kids Club (+105)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)

The Pick: When these teams met in week 3, the Kids Club was still having attendance issues and Luke/Nico picked up two goals each en route to a razor-close 5-3 victory for the blue team that featured an empty netter as time expired. The Kids Club has won two straight games to suddenly vault themselves out of the basement and into striking distance of a 5 seed. They can technically still get a first round bye but would need a miraculous scenario in which they win out, Cup Size beats the Hippos in OT or a shootout but loses to the Cheetahs in regulation, the Parrots beat Winter on Thursday and the Kids Club catches up to the Cheetahs in goal differential. It’s unlikely but hey, is it that much more unlikely than having rain on five of the last seven Tuesdays? The other subplot to watch will be Probie’s pursuit of his second career scoring title as he currently sits just four points back of Derek, though Derek also has three more goals (the first tiebreaker) and will end up playing one less game (the second tiebreaker). Does he have the juice to catch his one-time linemate?

The Charging Cheetahs (-135)
Rainy Day Kids Club (-105)
Over 6.0 (-110)
Under 6.0 (-130)

The Pick: The final game of the evening pits the Cheetahs and the Kids Club. As previously mentioned, if everything breaks right, this game could vault the Kids Club into an incredible first round bye, but it could also vault the Cheetahs into an improbable two seed if they hang on against Cup Size, win this game and Winter and the Hippos each only win one of their remaining games. More likely that if the Cheetahs hang on against Cup Size and win here they’ll end up as the 3 or 4 which still gives them a bye through the play-ins. At stake here statistically, besides the aforementioned scoring race, is the roommate battle between SBJ and Tadpole Jack. SBJ has been leading all season and currently sits at 6 points in 7 games, with two points already banked in the half game against Cup Size. Jack, however, has 9 points in 7 games and a full two left on Tuesday, with the goals tiebreaker to boot. SBJ will have his work cut out for him if he is to avoid being emasculated by his roommate. Although a lot will depend on which team is fresher after playing earlier in the evening and whether deLacy can match Burke save-for-save, the battle between two of the fastest forwards in the league in James and Probie will also be intriguing to watch. Carlin will anchor the red defense while Creamy, newly married and ready to mingle play hockey, will do the same for green. With so much at stake for both squads in the final game of the evening, look for a low scoring battle that sees the Cheetahs pull ahead and clinch the bye.

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