The Sexy Ducks (-120)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Over 6.5 (-125)
Under 6.5 (-115)
Notes: This is the first match of the night and the first match of the season between arguably the two championship frontrunners. Adding to the intrigue is that these two teams executed perhaps the spiciest pre-season pick trade in league history which saw blue trade a 2nd, 13th and 14th round pick in exchange for green’s 3rd, 8th and 12th. Since the 1st round is almost entirely goalies, that early 2nd round pick is pretty much a 1st and Probert used it to pick up AK, giving him a build that would be nearly impossible to replicate without a trade featuring two super-elite scorers and a top goalie to match. Meanwhile blue used the draft capital acquired by trading away their 2nd rounder to take some home run swings on injured players: the 3rd rounder was used on Meg, who set a record last season for points scored by a lady but is still recovering from jaw surgery, while the 8th rounder was spent on Mike McCauley, still convalescing from a wrist injury suffered in last season’s semifinals but also somehow contemplating a return in late September. This would put his return from a broken wrist at just two months, giving a lot of regrets to the captains who passed on him and to the doctors who told him to definitely not try coming back so soon. Also of note is that the only pre-season pick trade which comes close also involved AK in Fall 2019 when the Backdoor Bandits traded their 1st and 16th picks to allow the patio to play together on that doomed purple team. Why does every major pre-draft trade involve someone trading a pick that’s eventually used on Austin? Regardless this will be an exciting matchup as blue will be rocking a lineup featuring most of the guys with male rookie of the year frontrunner Sam looking to build on last week’s hat trick while female rookie of the year frontrunner Abby subs in for injured Meg and partying in the south of France Kelsey. Tough game to handicap but despite the goaltending talent in the game I’m taking the over as the Hooligans have been a low-key over-bettors dream with 18 total goals scored in their two games this season.
The Barrel (-165)
Frothing Hyenas (+125)
Over 7.0 (-125)
Under 7.0 (-115)
Notes: The Barrel roll into their week four matchup with 14 goals scored in 6 and a half periods of hockey and a great chance to move into first place as they face a Hyenas team facing early season struggles. After an 8-2 loss to the Ducks last week the league has received an anonymous tip from a man named Syvester hinting at a potential blockbuster trade in the making.
The Herman/Chester swap was one for the ages and helped spur a turnaround that led the Crimson Wave to a championship but this would be an entirely different stratosphere of in-season trade involving a 1st round selection and a potential rookie of the year candidate. Shades of Shanahan/Pronger for league members over 30. We will continue to monitor the trade wire and Twitter accounts of Elliotte Friedman, Adam Herman and Sylvester Cacciatore for more information. In the meantime, the game itself is a bit of a crapshoot as both teams are going to be brutally short and rolling the sub parade: The Barrel will have Jack, Derek, Davis, Joel, Chris Fullam, Abby, Kruger, Carley and a male sub to be named later while the Hyenas will roll Metz, Riegler, Cory, Rys, Lorredonna, Ashley and three subs to be named later. This is what we in the past liked to call “The McQuade Special,” not because we expect any women to be viciously mauled against the boards in this game, but because no one else would be crazy enough to bet on a game with this many subs. With James currently 5000 miles away in Hawaii the women of the league (plus Ariel) are safe, but the sportsbook will certainly miss his frequent donations.
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)
The Goaldiggers (-120)
Over 6.5 (-110)
Under 6.5 (-130)
Notes: The Goaldiggers come into this matchup in first place for the first time in franchise history, but they will also missing several key pieces as Guido, Tarnow, Joe P and team leading scorer Sam McIlwrick are all out of action tonight. Meanwhile Cup Size will be without the services of Neil and Brad while Cro is probably still in PA as well. Cup Size had a rough go of it last week, giving up a 3-2 lead with 8 minutes left to lose in regulation to The Barrel in the remainder of a rained out week one game before also losing 7-2 in the full scheduled game. Max and Scotty will have to carry the team in this one if they’re going to withstand the white team’s attack and break through their top-end female defense and flipcup team of Andrea and Izzy. Will Cup Size be up to the challenge? Will their players be adequately recovered from the incredible amount of drug use I personally witnessed in Ocean City? Once again the winner is up in the air due to roster issues but I’m betting on Casca, Max and the defenses to keep the game low-scoring, much to the delight of under bettors everywhere.
Hungry Hippos (-155)
Orange Royals (+115)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
Notes: The final game of the night sees two teams in need of a victory as the winless Royals look for the first of the season against the Hippos, who are coming off a surprise come-from-behind loss to the Probie-less Hooligans last week. The Hippos will be missing LJ, Cheeky, Elliot, Meehan and Dewey while the Royals have been missing their offense the entire season. Danilo will hopefully be making his season debut tonight and Gavin/Otis have hopefully gotten early season jitters and poor cardio out of the way. Jeff Green is still out of commission on his European bender so the Hippos will have a goalie sub to be named later while Zisser tries to recover from his own four day Ocean City bender by returning to probably face 40 shots against once again tonight. Orange has the talent on their roster to compete in this game but will need to find a way to generate sustained forecheck pressure to keep the pressure off Tash and their beleaguered goaltender. Russo will have to find a way to spark his team and I’m betting that he picks up a goal tonight. Unfortunately for him, I am also betting that said goal will not be enough and the Hippos will ride strong efforts from Hicks, Jason, Dave and the shockingly probable to show up Lily to pick up their second win of the season.