D5 Playoff Lines (Fall 2019)

Purple People Eaters (+225)
Stud Puffins (-300)

Purple People Eaters (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
Stud Puffins (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 5.5 (-125)
Under 5.5 (-115)


Notes: The Puffins will be without Derek for this one, as has been the case for much of the year. Purple should have everyone in tow which is both a blessing and a curse for any team come playoff time. This was originally supposed to be Tremble-Bowl but I’ve received word that both are considered questionable for this matchup, robbing the fans of the matchup we deserve to see. From a viewing perspective, that hurts a ton. But from a hockey standpoint, the loss of Derek hurts the most. Purple will be rolling SBJ, Braun, Jack and team leading goal scorer Steve Rys (Puffins alum!) in waves while the Puffins will need Meg, Neil, Russo and Sena to pick up the scoring slack. This team has been tough to figure all year; they may have finished 3rd in goals, but 15 of them (over half) came in the last two weeks. For seven weeks of the season they were one of the most lethargic offenses in the league despite all the talent. The question is, which team will come out tonight: the one that averaged less than two a game for the first 78% of the season or the team that scored 15 over the final two weeks? The other major subplot here is the goaltending matchup between D5 vets Tim Burke and Dave GDR. They’re two of only three goalies (Zisser is the other) who have played in net every single season. Burke has a championship from year one, but Dave is the winningest playoff goalie and has never failed to make the final four. This year, if he’s going to keep the streak alive, he’ll need to submit his best performance to date. As much as I’d love to see it, the Puffins were my preseason title favorite and I’m sticking with them for now. As for the puck line – you’re on your own.

The Charging Cheetahs (EVEN)
Goonies (-140)

The Charging Cheetahs (+1.5 Goals) (-160)
Goonies (-1.5 Goals) (+120)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)


Notes: This looks to be a classic offense vs defense battle. The Goonies will come in waves with Yetter/Olivier/Tarnow/Cherie/Tash, not to mention the secondary scoring they’ve received from Reape, Shirtless Rob and Ranger Beat Writer Adam Herman, among others. The Cheetahs used early picks on Ariel, Carlin and Fleming to lead their blueline and Sully did come within a point of winning the Brian Leetch award last season (he’s been playing forward this season and is questionable for this game). deLacy won the #1 Goalie Award just two season ago and he’ll have to find that form tonight if the Goonies are going to advance to the final four. The Cheetahs dominated the only meeting between the teams this season, using their speed advantage to notch a 4-0 win. Despite that, I see this game going one of two ways: either a Goonies blowout or a hard fought, tight low scoring struggle. Either way, it’s tough to see the Goonies’ core from last season’s championship team getting knocked out in round 1. Take white to move on to the next round and set up a Cherie vs Hicks Rehabs-Bowl at 9:15.

Puffins/People Eaters (-115)
Green Street Hooligans (-125)

Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)


Notes: The Hooligans will be without Probie, Charlotte, Tracy and Barch for this one while Derek should be back for orange if they make it this far. This makes this game extremely difficult to predict with such a wide variance of potential participants and outcomes. Green’s goalie is still up in the air as well; we have a request in to Mr Jeff Green (fitting) but if not him it will probably be either Max or Zisser, depending on who’s more willing to do two games in a row (UPDATE: it’s Zisser). I think that a full-strength Puffins squad, despite the lower seed, would be slightly favored over a shorthanded Hooligans roster while purple would be a bit of an underdog. As such, let’s split the difference and install it as virtual pick-em.

Goonies/Cheetahs (+135)
Hungry Hippos (-180)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)


Notes: The primetime game features the 3rd seeded Hippos facing the winner of the Goonies/Cheetahs matchup. The Hippos may be seeded 3rd but they are tied with the top seeded Cup Size and the Puffins in terms of how many people are picking them in the Bracket Challenge. They had the two top scorers this season and the second ranked goalie, along with a surprising amount of depth. Creamy is now in Delaware so he’s out for the playoffs but Jessie is on the playoff roster for depth while Dana is returning from a foot injury that sidelined her for the past month. The Goonies/Cheetahs will be warmed up at this point, but they’ll be hard pressed to contain the Hippos’ top line. Unfortunately Cheeky is out for this one so while Jessie will be able to fill-in and give some offensive punch, will she be able to replicate the season-long chemistry the Hippos have had? All season, many teams have had the same game plan: contain the top line and you can win. But having a gameplan and executing it are two very different things. Like Mike Tyson said, everyone has a plan til they get punched in the mouth. I picked the Cheetahs to be one of the top teams before the season, and the Goonies have enough talent and enough big-game experience to win as well. Against the Hippos, I don’t think it’ll be enough. Take yellow to roll into the final four for what could be the first playoff Fireball Bowl since the expansion to eight teams in Fall ’18.

Bonus Lines
Odds To Make Final Four:
Hungry Hippos (-180)
Green Street Hooligans (-125)
Stud Puffins (+150)
Goonies (+235)
The Charging Cheetahs (+275)
Purple People Eaters (+350)


Team To Score Most Goals Tonight (ties will be split proportionally)
Stud Puffins (EVEN)
Goonies (+145)
The Charging Cheetahs (+235)
Hungry Hippos (+260)
Purple People Eaters (+300)
Green Street Hooligans (+325)

Who Will Score More Points Tonight?
Cherie (+110)
Meg (-150)

Who Will Score More Points Tonight?
Nate (-160)
SBJ (+120)

Who Will Score More Points Tonight?
Hicks (-120)
Hogg (-120)

Who Will Score More Points Tonight?
Jack + SBJ + Braun (+105)
Meg + Cherie (-145)

Who Will Score More Points Tonight?
Hicks + Hogg (-120)
Derek + Nate (-120)

Will Any Game Go To OT?
Yes (+200)
No (-350)

Will Anyone Notch A Shutout?
Yes (+275)
No (-450)

Will There Be A Successful Coach’s Challenge?
Yes (+400)
No (-750)

Grand Salami (Total Goals Tonight)
Over 22 (-120)
Under 22 (-120)

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