Stud Puffins vs Backdoor Bandits
1st Period:
BDB (1-0) – Mike Marron (2) (assisted by Caitlin) (1:15)
BDB (2-0) – Mike Marron (3) (assisted by Austin) (8:20)
2nd Period:
BDB (3-0) – Guido (5) (assisted by Seb) (8:27)
PUF (1-3) – Goose (5) (assisted by Paul) (11:45)
3rd Period:
BDB (4-1) – Austin (6) (assisted by Seb) (8:26)
GAME NOTES: Derek was a late scratch for this one, about 45 minutes before puck drop, and his absence was certainly felt by orange in this one…Mike Marron kicked off the scoring with two goals in the first period. It would’ve been his first career hat trick in any hockey league but he spent the rest of the day shooting into logos and/or two feet wide of the net…Guido and Goose each stayed in the top 11 in scoring with their 5th goals of the season in the 2nd. Austin put the game away with a shot in the 3rd that Lee claims went off of him. Hopefully he’ll be more successful in stopping shots this broomball season…Seb had two assists, his first two of the season…the win, incredibly, moves the Bandits up to 4th when they had been all the way down at 7th just a few weeks prior. The Puffins would take on the People Eaters next week while the Bandits would regroup and host Fireball Bowl IV.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Seb (2A)
2nd – Austin (1G, 1A)
1st – Mike Marron (2G)
Green Street Hooligans vs Purple People Eaters
1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Rez (1) (assisted by Annie) (5:36)
2nd Period:
GSH (2-0) – Rez (2) (assisted by Joe P) (6:32)
3rd Period:
PPE (1-2) – Liz (2) (assisted by SBJ) (2:00)
GAME NOTES: With Probie at Yankee Stadium to watch Game 3 (spoiler alert: it did not go well), the Hooligans faced off against a resurgent purple team coming off two straight victories…Jake Chaplin was subbing in place of Probie in this one but his childhood friend Jake Reznick stole the show with both of green’s goals in this one, his first multi-goal game. Liz would score on a great 2 on 1 play early in the 3rd, but the Hooligans would hold on for a tight 2-1 victory…Purple would go on to face the Puffins while Green would host the Goonies in a championship rematch.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Liz (1G)
2nd – Zisser (1 GA)
1st – Rez (2G)
Goonies vs Hungry Hippos
1st Period:
GOO (1-0) – Cherie (5) (assisted by Meg) (11:36)
GOO (2-0) – Shirtless Rob Meehan (3) (assisted by Tash.0) (12:15)
3rd Period:
GOO (3-0) – Matt Reape (2) (unassisted) (1:30)
GAME NOTES: A surprisingly thorough Goonies victory as they used two goals in the final minute of the first to stun the Hippos…it was deLacy’s first shutout of the season after he won the #1 Goalie Award for the Spring 2019 season…Tash.0 is the nickname I didn’t know I needed in my life. She’s pretty damn good at hockey too…Matt Reape put the game out of reach with a diving breakaway goal that Ramy actual backchecked hard for and came within an inch of stopping. Hopefully he too will be more successful with his defensive efforts during broomball season…Cherie’s game winner was her 5th goal of the season, assisted by Male Free Agent Meg…the Goonies moved from 8th place just last week to 5th with this victory. They’ll host the 3rd place Hooligans next week while the Hippos travel to Ass-Grab Arena to face the Bandits in Fireball Bowl IV.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Matt Reape (1G)
2nd – Cherie (GWG)
1st – deLacy (W, SO)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs The Charging Cheetahs
1st Period:
CUP (1-0) – Emily (1) (assisted by Sara Lehman) (08:00)
2nd Period:
CUP (2-0) – Ines (1) (assisted by Mike McCauley) (02:20)
CUP (3-0) – Meg (1) (assisted by Stu Barnes) (05:51)
CUP (4-0) – Zach W (1) (assisted by Stu Barnes) (06:03)
CHA (1-4) – Jake Chaplin (2) (assisted by Nico) (10:02)
CUP (5-1) – Meg (2) (assisted by Ines) (11:41)
GAME NOTES: It was ladies night at Cup Size headquarters (except for apparent sexist Zach W) as Ines, Meg, Sara and her ringer friend combined for six points. It would’ve been more if we tracked secondary assists…Stu Barnes made his long awaited return to D5 in this game and as expected, there were some high sticks and an annoying amount of running. He notched two assists and had numerous chances to score…Jake broke the shutout with just under three minutes left in the 2nd on a one-timer in front but that lasted less than two minutes as Male Free Agent Meg would bury his/her 2nd of the game to bring the lead back to four, where it would stand at the final buzzer…Male Free Agent Meg has a higher PPG as a free agent than for her actual team, joining Free Agent Carlin and Free Agent Courtney from seasons past in demonstrating this phenomenon…this was the front end of a home-and-home. The teams would face off again in Week 8.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Ines (1G, 1A)
2nd – Jeff Green (W, 1 GA)
1st – Free Agent Meg (2G)
Purple People Eaters vs Stud Puffins
1st Period:
PUF (1-0) – Luke (1) (assisted by Sena) (1:20)
PUF (2-0) – Neil (1) (assisted by Russo’s Ass) (3:24)
PPE (1-2) – SBJ (3) (unassisted) (4:01)
PUF (3-1) – Creed (2) (assisted by Meg) (6:30)
PPE (2-3) – Dr Oopie (1) (unassisted) (9:58)
2nd Period:
PUF (4-2) – Creed (3) (unassisted) (0:21)
PUF (5-2) – Meg (3) (assisted by Luke) (6:37)
PUF (6-2) – Meg (4) (assisted by Jake Thorpe) (9:45)
PUF (7-2) – Goose (6) (assisted by Paul Chester) (11:17)
3rd Period:
PUF (8-2) – Meg (5) (assisted by Russo) (1:38)
PUF (9-2) – Neil (2) (assisted by Russo) (12:10)
GAME NOTES: Austin finally got his wish as Dave GDR was stuck in traffic and AK suited up in net for the first period. It was apparently tougher than it looked as he gave up 3 goals in the period…Luke subbed in for Derek, his first D5 action since the Spring season, and he wasted no time in scoring just 1:20 into the game…Neil picked up his first two goals of the season. The first was originally unassisted but after Russo sent me an article indicating that assists off the ass do indeed count, the helper was added as he quadrupled his season point total in this game…before the game, Meg specifically asked for a betting line on who would score the most points out of her, Braun, SBJ and Jack. She put down $5 on herself while Creed pounded the max bet and she delivered with four points to take control of the ladies’ scoring race…Braun finally got on the board with his first (and, in future news, only) goal of the 2019 season. Jack has had many regrets in his life, and trading a 3rd and 6th rounder for the right to draft Dr Oopie was definitely one of them…Dave may have played 2/3 of the game but since Austin was in goal for the winning tally by the Puffins, he’s the one who gets credited with the loss…the Puffins would close out the season in week 9 against the Goonies while the People Eaters would face the Bandits.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Neil (2G)
2nd – Luke (1G, 1A)
1st – Meg (Hat Trick, Assist)
Green Street Hooligans vs Goonies
1st Period:
GOO (1-0) – Shirtless Rob (4) (assisted by Olivier) (0:28)
GSH (1-1) – Scott Metz (5) (assisted by Jake K) (6:00)
GSH (2-1) – ScottyK (4) (assisted by Scott Metz) (12:53)
2nd Period:
GSH (3-1) – Luke (2) (assisted by Mike Sanchik) (2:17)
GOO (2-3) – Adam Herman (2) (unassisted) (5:28)
3rd Period:
GOO (3-3) – Yetter (1) (assisted by Cherie) (10:29)
Overtime:
GOO (4-3) – Tarnow (1) (assisted by Cherie) (2:26)
GAME NOTES: Shirtless Rob has been getting trolled by his Top Shelf teammate Goose for basically the entire season but he’s not so bad himself as he got the Goonies on the board just 28 seconds into the game…Scott Metz scored on an excellent snapshot about halfway through the period to tie the game and added an assist on ScottyK’s goal with just seconds left in the period. That bumped Metz up to 8 points on the season, the highest total of his career, passing his previous mark of 7 set in the Fall 18 season…after Luke extended the lead to 3-1, the Hooligans looked to be in control but the Goonies rallied, started by a five-hole goal by Rangers beat writer and NSYNC enthusiast Adam Herman…Yetter tied the game off a great cross-ice pass from Cherie with 2:31 left to remove the need to pull the goalie and force OT…in overtime both teams had chances but ultimately a Cherie point blast was deflected by Tarnow to give the Goonies a come-from-behind victory…the Goonies would wrap up their season against the Puffins while the Hooligans would take on the 1st place Cup Size in a possible playoff preview.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Scott Metz (1G, 1A)
2nd – Tarnow (GWG)
1st – Cherie (2A)
Hungry Hippos vs Backdoor Bandits
1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Hogg (4) (assisted by Cheeky) (10:47)
2nd Period:
BDB (1-1) – Alex (3) (assisted by Meg) (0:43)
BDB (2-1) – Guido (6) (assisted by Meg) (6:24)
HIP (2-2) – Hicks (10) (assisted by Cheeky) (12:57)
3rd Period:
BDB (3-2) – Karsten (1) (assisted by Alex) (3:01)
HIP (3-3) – Hicks (11) (assisted by Nicole H) (6:54)
BDB (4-3) – Karsten (2) (PP) (assisted by Austin) (11:38)
GAME NOTES: Fireball Bowl IV was a surprisingly hard fought and at times chippy affair. For the 3rd time in 4 bowls, the game ended with a one goal win, with the other ending 2-0…Hicks beat his career high in goals with his 10th of the season with just three seconds left in the 2nd and his 11th to tie the game with six minutes left. Amazingly, he still has 0 assists, while Ball Hogg also scored but has a league leading 8 assists…Karsten, 46 years old and BTSH’s all time leading goal scorer, scored two in the third period. The game winner was scored off the faceoff as the ball bounced up, off Hicks’ head, off the ground and was batted out of the air by Karsten into the top corner. The Hippos challenged for a high stick but replay conclusively showed contact with the ball made below the waist at knee level…Evan didn’t play in this one but threw down a max bet on Alex & AK outscoring Hicks & Hogg. Blue won the game but the bet ended as a push with both sides had three points…with the victory, Blue moves into 3rd place while the Hippos drop to 4th. The Bandits would close out their season against the 8th place Purple People Eaters while the Hippos would face the 7th place Cheetahs.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Alex (1G, 1A)
2nd – Hicks (2G)
1st – Karsten (2G)
The Charging Cheetahs vs My Cup Size Is Stanley
2nd Period:
CUP (1-0) – Karsten (3) (assisted by Brad) (11:48)
3rd Period:
CHA (1-1) – Hammered Russo (1) (unassisted) (3:41)
CUP (2-1) – Brad (1) (assisted by Zach W) (7:10)
CHA (2-2) – Nate (8) (assisted by Cheeky) (11:22)
Overtime:
CUP (3-2) – Karsten (4) (assisted by Gabe) (4:21)
GAME NOTES: The last game of the evening was a rematch of week 7 as Cup Size hosted the Cheetahs for their penultimate game of the season…Karsten subbed two games on the evening and ended up with four goals, including both game winners…Brad was playing like a man possessed as he and his wife had Kansas basketball tickets and he needed a bye through week one of the playoffs. He made sure divorce was not imminent with a goal and an assist…rostered guys are not allowed to sub for other teams but with both teams exhausting our league supply of FAs and Russo sufficiently hammered so as to quash any rumblings of ringer status, he was given the rare exception to do so. He responded by scoring early in the 3rd to tie the game for red…with the Cheetahs pressing for the tying goal, Nate and Cheeky executed a give-and-go that ended with Nate banking the ball into the net to send red to OT…Cup Size went on the power play in OT and after an incredible stop by Max on Karsten, Gabe and Karsten ended the contest as Karsy once again batted a ball out of the air for the winner…with the victory, Cup Size clinches their first President’s Trophy in league history. They would wrap up the season against the 2nd ranked Hooligans while the Cheetahs would finish up against the Hippos.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Nasty Nate (1G)
2nd – Karsten (2G)
1st – Brad (1G, 1A)