Well, our first season is in the books and with that, we give out the coveted awards everyone’s been waiting for. No, not the championship trophy, or even the Adam Banks Playoff MVP Award – it’s the results of more gambling.
First, congratulations to the winner of the Playoff Bracket Challenge, Rich Glanzer. Both Rich and Hicks correctly predicted every single game of the playoffs so we went to the first tiebreaker question: how many goals will be scored in the championship game. Seeing that the regular season average was 7.33 goals per game both contestants wagered that teams would continue to completely ignore their defensive responsibilities, with Glanzer predicting 9 goals in the championship while Hicks felt that was too conservative and predicted 13. Unfortunately for them, teams tightened up in the playoffs and the correct answer was 5. Since we don’t play by Price Is Right rules, Glanzer still wins despite being way over and therefore receives half off his fall dues which sounds about right considering his knee recently fell off.
For the more serious degenerates, the results are in from playoff fantasy and, once again, Glanzer and Hicks were among the leaders (do these guys have issues or what?), along with yours truly. Hicks had himself along with Avery and goon Eli picking up points at forward with AFrey bringing it in from the back-end (a job usually reserved for Zisser) and Dave GDR in net. Dave was the only goalie to record a shutout in the playoffs, picking up a playoff high 14.5 fantasy points and making his fantasy owners very, very happy. Hicks finished with 41.5; meanwhile, AFrey was the only other player to take Dave GDR but had a deep, deep lineup headlined by a highly contrarian fade of Probie. He made up for it by picking up such unorthodox choices as Ajay (3 points), Tommy (3 points) and Zog veteranDanny Swersky who was worth an impressive 8 points. Altogether, it was enough to pick up 50.5 points and make a strong run at the crown…but it was not enough to stave off the savage known as Glanzer. He was the only contestant who picked up both Probie and Avery (the two highest salaried players in the player pool) along with his championship winning teammates in Derek, Minafo and goalie Tim Burke for a total score of 51. By half a point, Glanzer is victorious and officially crowned king of the degenerates. Congratulations, you animal. He sent me this photo to rub it in. Check out the sweet Easter Egg in the background.
That just about wraps it up for the Summer – thanks to all that participated. Watch for more absurd challenges for the Fall season beginning this weekend.