Week 5 Betting Lines (Fall 2019)

The Charging Cheetahs (-350)
Purple People Eaters (+250)
The Charging Cheetahs (-3.0) (EVEN)
Purple People Eaters (+3.0) (-140)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

Notes: The Cheetahs will have Jeff Green in net in place of Max, Jessie in place of Carlin and no Sully. Purple will be missing Jake “Dr Oopie” Braun, last season’s rookie of the year and #1 star of the season who was drafted in the 1st round by the People Eaters. He joins a long line of Minnesota sports first round legends such as Benoit Pouliot, James Sheppard, Cordarrelle Patterson and Laquon Treadwell who have broken hearts all over the midwest with inconsistent play and drug abuse scandals. No word on whether or not he owns a boat but Scotty will be subbing for him and regardless, the Cheetahs picked up a huge win over the Goonies last week and have the momentum heading into this matchup. Bet on red to keep on rolling.

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-115)
Hungry Hippos (-125)
Over 4.5 (-130)
Under 4.5 (-110)

Notes: The game of the week as fans are treated to a showdown between the top two teams in the standings. Jenn is still in Florida which means Brad will run the bench once again. Cup Size will be using the services of Jake Chaplin in place of Gabe, Justin Sorice on D and have a TBD lady sub coming in as well, while Gene is a game-time decision. The Elves should have most of their roster which gives them a slight edge, but Cup Size has been stout all year and as mentioned in the box scores, Jeff Green has never lost a game for the team that drafted him. As such, the matchup to watch is between the pipes as Casca and Green are tied with identical GAAs through three games at 0.96. This is the lowest over/under we’ve ever set and even so, I’d still probably take the under.

Stud Puffins (-120)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Over 5.0 (-110)
Under 5.0 (-130)

Notes: Another toss-up in the 8:20 game as two of the preseason favorites try to stay in the top half of the standings as we cross the halfway point of the season. The Puffins have had trouble scoring this season with only six goals in four games despite having Derek, Sena and Meg on their roster. The Tims have been solid in net, with both of them currently in the top five in GAA in the league, but they’ll need some run support to get by an all-around solid green team. Probie will be playing despite a messed-up nose suffered at BTSH Sunday, with Jeff Green playing his 3rd game in a row in place of Barch and ScottyK playing in place of Danilo. This is a tough one to handicap; on the one hand, the Hooligans have no doubt looked better than the Puffins this season. On the other hand, I picked the Puffins before the season because I like their roster a lot and they’ve got too much talent not to figure it out eventually. It’s a true pick’em so unless you’re SBJ and you’re chasing last week’s losses, I’d avoid the moneyline bet and take the under with Tim K and Jeff set to duke it out in the crease.

Goonies (-135)
Backdoor Bandits (-105)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

Notes: The final game of the evening sees an 8 Balls civil war as Cherie & the Goonies take on Alex & the Bandits. The Bandits are coming off their first victory of the season which is somewhat ironic considering it was probably the worst game they’ve had this season in terms of time of possession. What can I say – hockey’s a weird game. The Goonies, meanwhile, had a surprising letdown last week against the Cheetahs, falling 4-0 and getting shutout for the first time in franchise history. Olivier is out this week and ScottyK will be playing in his stead. The Goonies have to be favored here as they’ve played better this season, but blue has the speed to keep them on their heels and pull the upset. The better question is whether Austin’s face will survive this game after a trying week 4 ordeal. If he scores early, he should be fine; if his teammates feel he’s underperforming, they will clearly not hesitate to let him know with a well-timed stick lift right to the mug. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.


Will Nate Score A Goal?
Yes (-145)
No (+105)

Will Hicks Score A Goal?
Yes (-105)
No (-135)

Will Derek Score A Goal?
Yes (+105)
No (-145)

Will Yetter Score A Goal?
Yes (-110)
No (-130)

Will Austin Score A Goal?
Yes (-120)
No (-120)

Who Will Score More Points In The Cheetahs/People Eaters Game?
Ariel (-180)
Tadpole Jack (+135)

Who Will Score More Points In The Hippos/Cup Size Game?
Hogg (-145)
Jake Chaplin (+105)

Who Will Score More Points In The Hooligans/Puffins Game?
Derek (-130)
Probie (-110)

Who Will Score More Points In The Goonies/Bandits Game?
Cherie (-160)
Alex (+120)

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