Week 4 Box Scores (Fall 2019)

Stud Puffins vs Hungry Hippos

2nd Period:
HIP (1-0) – Dr Beta (1) (assisted by Rockoff) (5:22)
3rd Period:
HIP (2-0) – Sarah (2) (unassisted) (11:59)

GAME NOTES: A night of elite goalie play got started in the early game with a tight defensive effort by both sides. The only goal the goalies let up was an impressive effort by Dr Beta which unfortunately was not captured on video…orange had numerous chances to tie it up but Casca was on point, namely with point-blank saves on Derek and Russo late in the game. Burke was solid in keeping the score 1-0 throughout, but the Puffins just couldn’t solve Casca…Sarah added an empty netter with just over a minute left to ice the game for the Hippos. They put on a ton of pressure in the final minute with the Puffins’ goalie pulled but could not get that extra stat-padding goal…the Hippos maintain their hold on 1st with the win but will face the 2nd place Cup Size in the game of the week next week. The Puffins will look to get back on track against the 3rd place Hooligans.

3rd – Sarah (1G)
2nd – Dr Beta (GWG)
1st – Zak Casca (W, SO)

Purple People Eaters vs Backdoor Bandits

2nd Period:
PPE (1-0) – Steve Rys (3) (assisted by Matt Jacobson) (5:51)
BDB (1-1) – David Liang (1) (assisted by Austin) (8:53)
BDB (2-1) – AFrey (1) (PP) (unassisted) (1:53)

GAME NOTES: Caitlin thought she got blue on the board early with a backhander by Dave but the ref ruled that Rachel was able to swipe the ball out before it crossed the goal line. Replay was inconclusive as, while the ball does appear to be past, it’s also in the air and there’s something called parallax that makes this a tricky determination to make. Calgary fans are nodding along sadly at this very moment…Steve Rys got Purple on the board with his 3rd of the season. With three goals and an assist, he has factored in on all of the People Eaters’ goals this season…Austin had a number of chances that were either broken up last second or blocked. At the end of one shift he ripped a shot that was blocked, turned and went to the bench in disgust. Fortunately, that blocked shot went directly to David who went top-shelf on his Riots teammate Dave GDR to even the score at 1…a late-game high stick was called as Austin’s face was bloodied by Rachel’s stick. Replay showed that her stick was actually lifted into Austin’s face by Caitlin. To his credit, he tried to finish the play by flipping the ball 15 feet in the air and then running through the crease. Guess it’s tough to gauge the ball’s flight path with an eyeful of blood…incredibly, it was the second time in the game that one of his teammates lifted an opponents stick into his face. Accident, or subtle reminder/threat that Austin’s expected to score goals?…unfortunately for Purple, we do not yet have video review or challenges for penalties so blue got a power-play to start OT, which they would use to score and pick up their first victory of the season…Hicks is the self-proclaimed “Gary Thorne of D5” and the camera was lucky enough to catch some of his commentary. Contrary to what you might believe, he is somehow totally sober during the clip and just reaching unheard of levels of hype due to an overdose of pre-workout and standing in Scotty’s vicinity…highlights of Hicks’ commentary include raving about Jack’s gluteus maximus and repeatedly calling Braun “Oopie” or “Dr Oopie.” Apparently it’s something Braun says all the time, but what does it mean? He claims it’s a piece of midwestern slang, yet Urban Dictionary has a number of terms listed which could be what he was actually referring to. For the love of god, let’s hope it’s not the last one…Purple picks up their first point of the season and will look to build off that momentum with a matchup against Nate, Ariel and the Cheetahs next week. The Bandits pick up their first win of the season and will host the two time defending champion Goonies in next week’s primetime matchup.

3rd – Jack (better than expected defense)
2nd – Zisser (1 GA)
1st – AFrey (GWG)

Close, but (probably) no cigar
Braun claims this is the innocent origin of the word…
…but does it just mean anything you want it to mean?
Was this what he was actually referring to?
This one seems more likely.
Let’s hope it’s not this one.

My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Green Street Hooligans

3rd Period:
CUP (1-0) – LJ (1) (assisted by Adam G) (3:00)
CUP (2-0) – ChooChoo (2) (unassisted) (8:41)
CUP (3-0) – ChooChoo (3) (unassisted) (10:10)

GAME NOTES: On a night where all the unders hit, this game was scoreless until the 3rd period when LJ broke the deadlock with a snapshot from the high slot to give her team the lead. ChooChoo would put the game away with two goals in a 1:29 span late…Green tried to challenge one of the goals which was scored directly off the faceoff, alleging that the ball was hit out of the air. Shades of the 2018 Fall semi-final, but like that disputed call this goal was allowed to stand…Jeff Green notched the shutout for black and incredibly has still never lost a game for his team (non-subbing efforts) in a season and a half of play. This just proves what we’ve long suspected: Canadians are better at hockey than us…Cup Size travels to the Keebler Elf compound for a first place showdown next week while the Hooligans will host the Stud Puffins.

Textbook form right there

3rd – LJ (GWG)
2nd – ChooChoo (2G)
1st – Jeff Green (W, SO)

The Charging Cheetahs vs Goonies

1st Period:
CHA (1-0) – Sean Fleming (1) (unassisted) (11:55)
2nd Period:
CHA (2-0) – Sully (1) (assisted by Ariel) (6:45)
3rd Period:
CHA (3-0) – Nasty Nate (1) (assisted by Goldy) (1:56)
CHA (4-0) – Shoni (1) (assisted by Nasty Nate) (5:18)

GAME NOTES: The final game of the evening pitted the 7th place Cheetahs against the 4th place Goonies. Surprising as it may seem, we’re already halfway through the season so playoff seeding definitely comes into play…Fleming scored his 1st of the season with just over a minute left in the first period when he blasted a slapshot from the point. Sully followed suit midway through the 2nd, although he apparently got chirped for the rest of the game for what the Goonies felt was a high windup. Sadly, the video was inconclusive…Nasty Nate put the game away in the 3rd period with a breakaway goal early, then some strong pressure and distribution on his next shift that led to Shoni’s first career D5 goal. The Cheetahs would hold on for a 4-0 win and move all the way up to 5th, just one point back of the Goonies for 4th…Jeff Green picked up the shutout in relief of Max and becomes the first goalie in league history to record two shutouts in the same evening. He celebrated by partying at Dorrians until 3 AM then having a monster afterparty in a van down by the river…the Cheetahs will face the winless Purple People Eaters in the early game next week while the Goonies will play the late game against the Backdoor Bandits.

3rd – Sean Fleming (GWG)
2nd – Nasty Nate (1G, 1A)
1st – Jeff Green (W, SO)

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