Ball That (5) vs Cleveland Browns (1)
1st Period:
CLE (1-0) – Rockoff (1) (unassisted)
2nd Period:
BAL (1-1) – Jeff (1) (unassisted)
CLE (2-1) – Mike Yetter (1) (unassisted)
3rd Period:
CLE (3-1) – Mike Yetter (2) (assisted by Ramy)
CLE (4-1) – Mike Yetter (3) (unassisted)
CLE (5-1) – Ramy (1) (EN) (unassisted)
GAME NOTES: The first D5 semifinal game featured a rematch of one of the Browns’ toughest games of the season, a tight 2-1 overtime victory in Week 8…Rockoff, fresh off six months of playing cricket and chasing marsupials around Australia, opened the scoring with his first goal since returning to the States. Reached for comment, he called the opposing team a “bunch of wankers”…Jeff evened the score early in the 2nd period with an incredible individual effort that left Jenn asking if we could give him four points on that one play…Yetter took over in the second half of the game putting up a natural hat trick. The third goal was controversial and triggered the first video review in D5 history as, after he scored directly off the faceoff, it was alleged that Yetter hit the ball before it hit the ground which would be a faceoff violation. Video was inconclusive so the call on the ice stood. The video and stills are below so you can be the judge…with the victory, Cleveland moves on to the finals in what must have been a huge moment for the city and their fans. They also took yet another picture…Ball That almost overcame Jeff’s ankle injury and Miles’ absence but in the end it was too much. Still, they finish the season with an impressive final four appearance despite losing Pete for most of the season to injury and most of their roster showing up to somewhere between 1 and 4 games. Jeff also picked up the scoring title for most points in his first season as well as the award for most goals. Sadly he was not at the end of season party to pick them up so they are currently in the custody of Rich Glanzer, Justin Michaliga or the staff at East End Bar.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Jeff (1G on 1 Leg)
2nd – Tim K (1 GA)
1st – Mike Yetter (Hat Trick w/ GWG)
In this frame, the ball is visible just an inch or so above the court…
…while in the next frame, the ball has just been contacted by Yetter. Did it hit the ground in between?
CLEVELAND DON’T CARE
My Cup Size Is Stanley (7) vs Hungry Hippos (2)
2nd Period:
HIP (1-0) – Lee (1) (assisted by Marcella)
CUP (1-1) – Cherie (4) (PP) (unassisted)
3rd Period:
HIP (2-1) – Sweet Baby James (1) (unassisted)
GAME NOTES: The grudge match of the Hicks stick toss / Kelsey no look sexiness did not disappoint, with a low scoring contest befitting a semifinal matchup and potential Hicks suicide game…Lee opened the scoring with his first goal since his Week 1 snipe, this one a shot by Marcella that deflected off his leg and past Dave for the first goal of the game. Dave, as mentioned last week, is the all-time winningest goaltender in D5 history…last week’s playoff hero Cherie tied the game up on a power play snipe that beat Zisser…In the 3rd, with the score tied, Sweet Baby James blazed through the Cup Size D (not to be confused with a D-cup size, which is something entirely different) and took a shot on goal that was stopped by Dave, but the rebound somehow trickled through to give the Hippos the one goal lead…Cup Size had numerous opportunities to equalize but were stoned by a stout Hippos defense and a quality game from the Sizzler. Late in the period, with the goalie pulled, they also lost their leading scorer to injury due to an absurd Brosen-on-Brosen hate crime as Josh bodychecked his brother into Cherie, causing minor injuries to her knee and arm. She’s expected to make a full recovery and says that it’s her own fault since she had earlier in the game told Josh not to take it easy on his brother. Suffice to say, this was not what she had in mind…Cup Size may have lost but finished their season on the upswing after losing their first two games by a combined score of 10-0…with the win (bolstered by their fancy new shirts) the Hippos move on to face the Cleveland Browns in the Fall 2018 District Five Championship.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Cherie (1G)
2nd – Zisser (1 GA)
1st – Sweet Baby James (GWG)
Hungry Hippos (2) vs Cleveland Browns (1)
1st Period:
CLE (1-0) – Julie (1) (assisted by Ramy)
HIP (1-1) – Roberts (1) (assisted by Kelsey)
2nd Period:
HIP (2-1) – Evan (1) (assisted by Sweet Baby James)
CLE (2-2) – Zach Denes (1) (assisted by Julie)
3rd Period:
CLE (3-2) – Mike Yetter (4) (assisted by Zach Denes)
GAME NOTES: It was the rematch that was promised as the two top teams in the league, and what I’ve been told are two of the manliest bench presses in the league, squared off with the D5 Cup that Probie destroyed during an erotic photoshoot on the line…Julie opened the scoring in the first with a goal from her office on the right doorstep. The hop celebration afterwards was inspired…before the first period expired, however, Roberts tied the game after an inspired pass from behind the net by BTSH teammate and Fall 2018 Female Rookie of the Year Kelsey Kirker. The Hippos actually had both rookies of the year as Sweet Baby James picked up the male nod…Evan put the Hippos ahead 2-1 on a blast from the point that found its way in the net. The watch party at the Hippound was rocking…more controversy followed as Denes made a slick move to the backhand and roofed one top shelf. The Hippos bench and goaltender immediately contested that it hit the crossbar. Both refs immediately called goal and there was no video footage to overturn so the call stood…midway through the third, the goal heard all around Ohio (except Michelle Ulmann’s house) as Yetter roofed a perfect shot top corner to give the Browns a 3-2 lead they would never relinquish. The Hippos had a number of chances, but Tim K would not allow a third goal to get past him…and so, the city of Cleveland has cause to celebrate as the Browns pick up the Fall 2018 Championship. Julie and Rich become the first players to win two D5 championships while Mike Yetter, with two games winners, wins the Adam Banks Playoff MVP Award. In his acceptance speech he was sure to thank his season-long linemate Luke for not showing up and thus giving him a chance to win it…thanks to everyone who came out to watch the game (not many people) and to the bar for free food and booze (significantly more). See ya in the spring!
THREE STARS OF THE GAME
3rd – Julie (1G, 1A)
2nd – Zach Denes (1G, 1A)
1st – Mike Yetter (GWG)
