Week 8 Box Scores (Fall 2018)

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Hungry Hippos vs Ball That

1st Period (played on 10/2):
HIP (1-0) – Hicks (4) (assisted by Sweet Baby James)
HIP (2-0) – Sweet Baby James (6) (assisted by Adam Herman)
HIP (3-0) – Ariel (4) (unassisted)
2nd Period (played on 10/23):
BAL (1-3) – Jeff (8) (unassisted)
BAL (2-3) – Jeff (9) (unassisted)
3rd Period (played on 10/23):
HIP (4-2) – Hicks (5) (assisted by Roberts)
HIP (5-2)  Sweet Baby James (7) (assisted by Ariel)
BAL (3-5) – Jeff (10) (assisted by Miles)

GAME NOTES: This match began on 10/2 and finally concluded last night, possibly setting some sort of record for the longest ball hockey game ever recorded…the Hippos went into last night holding a 3-0 lead but Jeff did his best to make it a game, scoring two late goals in the second to put his team within a goal…after a fiery intermission for the Hippos, they came out with renewed vigor and Hicks converted early on a rebound off a Roberts shot…Sweet Baby James put in his second of the game to put the Hippos ahead by three.  Any gains he made in the rookie scoring race were quickly erased when Jeff scored in the waning minutes to complete his hat trick…the game featured a brief two minute burst of rain that almost gave me a heart attack, but thankfully the rain stopped with minimal damage to the court…with the win, the Hippos move to 15 points and for the moment are just two points back of first, pending later action.

3rd – Hicks (2G including GWG)
2nd – Jeff (3G)
1st – Sweet Baby James (2G, 1A)

My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Team Sexy

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Ryann (2) (assisted by Beardy)
CUP (1-1) – Cherie (3) (assisted by Josh Rosen)
SEX (2-1) – Beardy (1) (assisted by Hil-Dawg)
2nd Period:
SEX (3-1) – Scott Metz (3) (assisted by Tommy)
CUP (2-3) – Cherie (4) (unassisted)
SEX (4-2) – Scott Metz (4) (assisted by Hil-Dawg)
3rd Period:
SEX (5-2) – Matt Riegler (2) (unassisted)
SEX (6-2)  Matt Riegler (3) (assisted by Ryann)
SEX (7-2) – Scott Metz (5) (assisted by Carlin)
SEX (8-2) – Mike Marian (4) (assisted by Beardy)

GAME NOTES: A rematch of last week’s tight 2-1 OT contest was definitely a bit more wide open this time around…Ryann got the scoring kicked off on a badass play in front where she looked pass but instead went five-hole…Cherie responded shortly after for her first of two on the night as she converted a feed from the corner for a quick one timer off the far post…Hil-Dawg picked up a ball off the faceoff and passed it across to her defense partner, whom Sully has dubbed Beardy, for a point shot that found its way through traffic into the net…Scott Metz picked up a hat trick with his first goal coming off a rebound and his other two coming on snipes from the faceoff dots…free agent Matt Riegler had two goals in this game and now has three in his past four games after starting the season with just one in six…Mike Marian was living up to his team name and keeping it sexy in Lake Como for the week, but flew in at 6 and made it in for the middle of the first period.  He scored the last goal of the game on a sweet redirection from the slot…with the win, Sexy is now tied for 1st with the Cleveland Browns although the Browns have the tiebreaker.  Cup Size remains in 6th and still has a chance to move up to 4th next week.

3rd – Hil-Dawg (2A)
2nd – Beardy (1G, 2A)
1st – Scott Metz (3G)

The Charging Cheetahs vs Hungry Hippos

1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Evan (2) (assisted by Ariel)
2nd Period:
CHA (1-1) – Courtney (3) (assisted by Sully)
3rd Period:
HIP (2-1) – Sweet Baby James (8) (unassisted)
HIP (3-1)  Mia (1) (assisted by Hicks)
CHA (2-3) – Akhil (3) (assisted by Liz)
HIP (4-2) – Sweet Baby James (9) (EN) (assisted by Marcella)

GAME NOTES: After last week’s ridiculous 8-5 game which featured four goals in the last two minutes, many wondered if this game would feature 20 or more goals.  Sadly for degenerates who bet the over, this scoreline looks more like an actual hockey game…Evan got the scoring started on a wrister through traffic that beat Dave (subbing in relief of Charlie) high glove.  Bodies in front prevented him from ever seeing the shot which is generally good for the offense…undeterred, Courtney “Hat Trick” Ryan took the ball near center and ran it in before firing a shot from the faceoff dot that beat Zisser and tied it up…with her team only up one and momentum swinging back and forth, Mia slipped away from Olivier and buried her first career D5 goal for what would eventually be the game winner…Gabe had a pair of dirty spin moves off the boards to evade James but young McQuade got the last laugh with two goals in a winning effort…the last minute featured all sorts of ridiculous empty net chances, including an incredible goal-line save by Mikey before Marcella and James sealed the game.  What is up with these teams and empty nets?…with the win, the Hippos move up to 3rd and can finish no lower than that, with a real chance to move up to 1st or 2nd in the season’s final game.  They’ll face Jenn and Cup Size in their finale, while the Cheetahs will look to get back on the winning side before the playoffs as, just like last season, they face Team Sexy in their final game.

3rd – Ariel (1A)
2nd – Sweet Baby James (2G)
1st – Mia (GWG)


Cleveland Browns vs Ball That

2nd Period:
CLE (1-0) – Luke (9) (assisted by Julie)
3rd Period:
BAL (1-1) – Jeff (11) (assisted by Miles)
CLE (2-1) – Mike Yetter (7) (assisted by Julie)

GAME NOTES: Last week it was Barch putting on a goaltending clinic for the people.  This week, Tim K did yeoman’s work for the city of Cleveland in shutting down multiple Grade A chances from Jeff, Miles and the Ball That gang…Luke had a few dominant shifts in the first but was denied by Tim Burke, who was playing in his third game of the night.  He finally got on the board on a sweet spinning backhander to put Cleveland up 1-0…Ball that had a ton of flurries and probably won the possession battle in the game, but the Cleveland defense bent but didn’t break while Tim K did his usual badass shit.  He’s #1 on the goalie leaderboard heading into the final week of the season…the overtime featured chances for both teams before Julie found Yetter in front for the winner.  He’s up to 3rd in the scoring race while Julie has moved to the top of the female leaderboard.  Jeff and Luke are tied atop the overall scoring race, with Jeff having more goals but Luke having played one less game.  They each have one game left…with the win, the Cleveland Browns can finish no lower than 3rd but will need a win or losses by Sexy or the Hippos to maintain the double bye.  Ball That picks up a point and due to the Cheetahs loss stays in 4th which positions them to skip the play-in round…according to the video the alternate title for this game is “Title Text Here.”  Not particularly catchy, but our understaffed AV department will just roll with it.

3rd – Mike Yetter (GWG)
2nd – Julie (2A)
1st – Tim K (1GA)

Browns Week 7

The Varsity Warriors vs The Purple Parrots

1st Period:
PAR (1-0) – Morgen (2) (PP) (assisted by Creamy)
2nd Period:
PAR (2-0) – Caroline (1) (assisted by Mike Tarnow)
VAR (1-2) – Nicolette (2) (assisted by Sebastian)
VAR (2-2) – Nicolette (3) (assisted by Derek)
VAR (3-2) – Derek (4) (assisted by Probie)
3rd Period:
VAR (4-2) – Derek (5) (assisted by Nicolette)
VAR (5-2)  Probie (4) (assisted by Nicolette)

GAME NOTES: The primetime game featured two teams in need of a win, two of the best goalies in the league and a furious comeback by the defending champs…the Cleveland Browns’ top line of Julie/Luke/Yetter may be dominating the scoring race, but the best line of the night was Probie/Derek/Nicolette as they combined for five goals and four assists after falling behind 2-0…the Parrots acquired that lead with two goals from the backdoor, first from Ol’ Pal Morgie and then from Caroline…late in the 2nd period, however, the Warriors came alive as Nicolette picked up two and Derek put them ahead just seconds after they had tied it.  He and Probie would add insurance goals in the third…with a two goal and two assist performance, Nico jumped from 83rd in scoring all the way up to 22nd and is now within shouting distance of the female scoring title going into week 9 where she’ll face the current leader Julie…the Parrots pressed hard for the tying marker in the third but were stoned by the Warriors goaltender, defense and, in one instance, Matt Russo’s giant foot.  Reaction to this can be heard at the end of the highlight video…Tim Burke was playing in his fourth game of the evening, a new league record.  It should be noted that he actually had a goalie stick to play with this time around…the win bumps the Warriors out of last place for the first time this season, and they can climb all the way up to 4th although it may take a minor miracle to do so.  More on playoff scenarios from our special guest correspondent tomorrow.

3rd – Probie (1G, 1A)
2nd – Derek (2G, 1A)
1st – Nicolette (2G, 2A)

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