Week 10 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)

Julie’s Football Club (+120)
I Just Blue Myself (-165)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)

Notes: Blue plays orange in the opening game of the night and what a night it is as most of the league seems to be out pounding tequila in honor of cinco de mayo. These teams played to a 4-1 blue decision just two and a half weeks ago but the rosters tonight will be very different. Orange won’t have Malik or Amit but otherwise should have 9 players which is much more than blue’s current count of 7. Will prob need a sub or two, probably Jacob Green or Mo or maybe Pags. Line has shifted slightly towards orange since I sent these lines to our mystery guest (spoiler alert: it’s Ridzik) for commentary, but blue remains slightly favored here. I expect a close game and probably a low scoring one seeing as that is just how orange rolls. Their games are by far the lowest scoring in the league as they are tied for last in goals scored but also 3rd in goals allowed. On second thought, just take the under.

The Narwhals (+105)
I Just Blue Myself (-150)

The Narwhals (Ridzik Special: +1.5 Goals) (-155) (+105)
I Just Blue Myself (Ridzik Special: -1.5 Goals) (+110) (-150)
Over 5.5 (-135)
Under 5.5 (-105)

Notes: The first of Jamie’s tripleheader sub appearance as she jumps in for Jack’s team. Other lady sub TBD, maybe Mel maybe Julie who knows. The rosters for this one are pretty funny. Purple has both of their Jacks, Rob Meehan, the Q train and Jacob Green with Adam Herman, Metz and Corey as GTDs. If Corey is in Jacob will play on D; if he’s out, Jacob plays in net. Just so much up in the air. It has, obviously, led to some hot action on blue which did not please Jack when I told him in an attempt to rattle him.

Blue will rock a roster with myself (Alex), Gelman, McNeil, Mikey, Eli, Cherie, Caitlin and Phelps in net. So 7 + goalie. I think we’ll both probably play it super short and just eat minutes on both sides. Near impossible game to make lines for but I would expect it to be high scoring based on the general lack of defensive players on both teams in this one. In fact I just talked myself into adjusting the juice on the over before publishing. Sorry over bettors.

Green Street Hooligans (-135) (with Wes)
MelRose Place (-105) (with Wes)

Green Street Hooligans (-170) (without Wes)
MelRose Place (+125) (without Wes)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

Notes: MelRose doesn’t know if Wes is in or not, if Nestor is in or not, or who their goalie will be. None of this is good. Meanwhile green won’t have Tom and Amanda may be iron-manning/womanning this game. Also not great. Also the womanning with the double n looks kind of weird but if we can agree manning gets the double then shouldn’t womanning as well? Is it even a real word? For that matter is manning? Now all I can think of is the legendary QB family. And now people are telling me it might rain. Ugh. Also yellow will have Jaimie subbing in for Izzy and green will have Cam subbing for Max. Some of these permutations will create closer matchups than others but in the end this should end with a green victory.

Chili Peppers (-185)
Shooting Blancs (+140)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)

Notes: Chili Peppers will have Cam subbing in goal but otherwise should have Sam for this one which is obviously a huge line-swinger considering he’s top 5 in the scoring race despite only playing 5 games this season. Meanwhile white will be missing Andreas and McCauley even though McCauley missed Tuesdays game to rest his knee for this doubleheader. All this has led Simon to announce that he probably won’t be captaining next season. Then again, he also announced last week that white wouldn’t lose another game all season. I have no idea what to expect outside of continued pain for Simon.

Shooting Blancs (+150)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-200)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)

Notes: Jamie’s third game of the night as both she and Sarah (aka Mrs Meatbox / the artist formerly known as Sarahbox) will be subbing in this game as men. I am also pleased to announce that in this transaction I have acquired the right to refer to her as Ms Testiclebox, Testiclebox Jr and Manrah. Well, kind of.

When it’s a Friday night and no ones in town and you’re trying to secure subs for games that may not even happen, these are the minor victories you cherish. As for the game, this should be a Hippos win which clinches top 4 seeding and gives them a 50/50 shot at top 2. But don’t just take it from me. Here’s some betting tips from a mystery guest that is not that tough to figure out if you just think about who would offer to give betting tips on a rec ball hockey league
EDITORS NOTE: oh yeah I forgot I already told you it’s Ridzik, he of the McQuade gambling tree. Well, enjoy anyways.

Guest Commentary

D5 lines are much like a 3 course meal at a mid level sushi restaurant: can be amazing or you’ll be contemplating life on the Dorrians toilet after a hurricane shot from Frey.

Appetizer: JFC-BLOW. It’s early. And with people likely missing, you’re gonna order the thing to get you shitfaced early. Game 3 NJD-NYR all over again, goalies stand out.
The Play: Under 5.5, Sidecar on Frey any time goal scorer if you like losing money

Dinner: as is tradition, people show up later. Red (Sam/DRo*) tried to kill me, but it didn’t stop a potential comeback, and Jeff knows comebacks. Normally I don’t like laying the juice but when you’re colder than a naked man in the arctic, ya gotta take free money when you can get it
The Play: Chili Peppers ML, (side car on the Blancs +1.5 if Frey offers)

Dessert: This is where the fun happens. You’re too many shots deep, wondering if it’s the alcohol or 4 day old fish making your stomach grumble, but you know the move even if it’s risky. Back to back games for blue, a hot Phelps will let them ride the wave and as long as Jack can’t go glove side, the one-line-wonder of purple goes down.
The Play: BLOW -1.5 (sidecar on Purple team total goals under 1.5 if you wanna lose money)

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