The Narwhals (+120)
Julie’s Football Club (-165)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)
Notes: Four massive games for standings position tonight starting with this clash of teams who have 15 points and won’t have their 3rd round pick tonight. Unfortunately for purple, it’s an extended absence as Annie is apparently out for the season due to a toe injury suffered not playing hockey, soccer or even pickleball but while packing for Braun’s wedding. Yes, this is a real thing that actually happened. Who would’ve thought that Braun’s Cali wedding would affect the D5 playoff race like this? For tonight they’ll have Cherie subbing in while Jeff Green jumps in net for the Football Club. The winner of the game, if in regulation, secures 4th place; the loser risks falling to 6th and having to potentially face a full-strength MelRose in round 1. Annie’s absence sent The Barrel into a freefall just two years ago and I think it’ll be too much for purple to overcome tonight. Orange to win in regulation and lock up a well-deserved 4 seed.
This beautiful moment may have killed purple’s playoff hopes.
BONUS LINE
More Points In Game
Tash + Malik + Dave Liang + Mitch (-135)
Cherie + Jack + Tom (-105)
Jack To Score A Goal
Yes (-120)
No (-120)
Adam Herman To Record A Point
Yes (-110)
No (-130)
Tash To Record 2 Or More Points
Yes (+120)
No (-160)
Medium Rare (-120)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
Notes: Believe it or not, pink can still escape the play-in matchup and climb as high as 7th place, regardless of what MelRose does, with two regulation wins tonight. They need to outpoint MelRose by 3 but also need to get a regulation win in there. Meanwhile green, with two regulation wins, can climb all the way to 1st place. One regulation win (or four standings points otherwise) gets them up to 2nd. Otherwise, if they lose both they can fall all the way down to 5th place and have to win two extra playoff games. This is an extremely spicy matchup made even spicier by the fact that green specifically lobbied to and chose to play pink twice tonight. They won’t have 2nd round pick Tom Fitz (possibly out for the season) nor will they have Max in net (Dave GDR gets the call) while pink won’t have Source, Rockoff or Zach Liebovich. For this game, I’m betting on some regression for pink’s scorers; somehow, improbably, they have scored the least goals in the league this season and are 2nd to last in GPG. Even without horny Source and not as horny anymore since he’s now married Rockoff, I think pink will look to open this one up. Pink on a trap line parlayed with the over if your book allows it.
BONUS LINE
More Points In Game
Jason + Oberg (+105)
Neil + Stern (-150)
More Points In This Game
Brita (EVEN)
All Other Female Players Combined (-145)
Yehuda To Score A Goal
Yes (+170)
No (-300)
Jason To Score A Goal
Yes (-135)
No (-105)
Wagner To Record A Point
Yes (-135)
No (-105)
MelRose Place (-120)
Chili Peppers (-120)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)
Notes: The tale of these teams’ season has been pretty similar: top two draft picks who didn’t show up for first month and bad puck luck all season, especially in OT. Tonight they’ll each have a mostly full lineup and face off in what is essentially a playoff game for both teams. A yellow regulation win puts them in good shape to hold onto 7 and avoid the play-in; a loss (or even an OT win) puts them in a precarious spot where pink could easily leapfrog them by the end of the night. All season these teams have hovered around the middle of the standings and the league power rankings but both were ranked as top teams before the season. Did anything materially change from those analyses or are we being blinded by results of games with short rosters that won’t matter come playoff time? It’s the existential question that every gambler must ask him/herself before betting on any playoff run; D5, NHL, NFL, doesn’t matter. But my views are clear: nothings has changed since the preseason which is why my personal power ranks (at least for the top six teams) were exactly the same last week as they were in the preseason poll.
The sole material change is that this is Jeff Green’s final game of the season with playoff sub TBD but otherwise, my thoughts remain the same. These are two very even, very tough teams. I see it as a total toss-up. Could be a tight grinding 2-1 win, could be a crazy 6-5 shootout like last week. Either team could show out big or completely blow it in OT. Literally nothing would surprise me except one of the players turning into a frog mid-game. Bet at your own risk.
BONUS LINE
More Points In Game
Wes (-120)
Sam (-120)
More Points In Game
Danilo (-120)
Nate (-120)
More Points In Game
Sean Kittridge (-105)
Mike Tarnow (-135)
More Points In Game
Matt Reape (-160)
Jason Reape (+115)
More Points In This Game
Ryann (-130)
All Other Female Players Combined (-110)
Jeff Jacobson To Record A Point
Yes (-120)
No (-120)
Sam To Score A Goal
Yes (-135)
No (-105)
Wes To Score A Goal
Yes (-135)
No (-105)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Medium Rare (-120)
Over 6.5 (-130)
Under 6.5 (-110)
Notes: The 2nd game of their doubleheader. Nothing really changes odds-wise. The result of the previous game may impact various motivations but I expect the result to be the same: completely unpredictable. Last 3 games of the night are legitimate coinflips and we will have 50-100 drinks in the scorers box. Should be electric. Also I need to do some actual work and we have guest commentary still to go. See ya tonight.
BONUS LINE
More Points In Game
Jason + Oberg (+120)
Neil + Stern (-165)
Yehuda To Score A Goal
Yes (+170)
No (-300)
Jason To Score A Goal
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Wagner To Record A Point
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Guest Commentary (hint: it’s one of the guys in the photo)
Last week finally put some dough back in my pocket, the sushi aged well, and I’m still significantly in the negative with the book. Irregardless, let’s get some more guaranteed winners for today.
Similar to Murls we’re taking a Two-For-1 Tuesday. While I want to fade purple yet again, the first game to look at today none other than my own and lemme tell ya why. Jeff is playing earlier for orange then game in between before playing for red. Yellow has nearly everybody for the first time since the Rangers showed of being a competent NHL caliber franchise. Red tried to kill me but it only made me stronger. And Purple has Cherie who is bound for a 3 point night on Greeney. While Jacobson and I will be propped up on Advil and booze, the rest of yellow will find the back of the net.
The Play: MelRose team total O3 (-120) (I can’t officially endorse over 6 or else I’ll be investigated by AG James next).
Play 2 is easy. We have the most prolific sniper in D5 for the first two weeks looking to close out the regular season on a high note. And whenever I am around, he seems to score. Yellow needs a pink loss to keep the 7 seed, so there’s definitely no ulterior motive on the pick…
Your Two For 1 Special: Green Game 2 ML (-120) with a sidecar on Yehuda ATG (+170).