Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-140)
The Narwhals (EVEN)
Over 5.5 (-115)
Under 5.5 (-125)
Notes: These teams will face off in a rematch of Friday’s thriller where the Hippos stormed back from a 2-0 deficit to win the game in OT. The Narwhals had a decent night anyways as Jack was able to get them the win in the late game off a clear from behind his own net which went in with 6.4 seconds left, prompting an official league inquiry into Ridzik’s recent gambling activity. Hippos were #1 in the preseason power rankings but got off to a sluggish week one, losing to a green team that was missing their 2nd round pick. This early in the season is exceptionally difficult to project as it is yet unclear which teams are actually good and which teams secretly suck (whoever you are, it won’t be a secret for long), but I’m sticking with my preseason projection. Even without late scratch Abby black to pick up the win and move into a top three position in the standings. Also Jess is skipping some kind of rock climbing shit for this game. Very sweet.
BONUS LINES
Most Points In This Game
Hicks (-120)
Jack (-120)
Most Points In This Game (BattleTom Edition)
Hicks + Hogg + Stabel + Tom White (-130)
Jack + Kev + Annie + Tom McGuire (-135)
Will Adam Herman Record A Point?
Yes (-120)
No (-120)
Alt Total
Over 7.5 (+240)
Under 7.5 (-400)
Alt Total
Over 3.5 (-350)
Under 3.5 (+200)
Special Request From Ramy: Most Points Tonight
Kev + Source (-500)
Ramy Who Is Not Playing Tonight (+1000000000000)
Tie (+260)
Medium Rare (+115)
I Just Blue Myself (-160)
Over 5.5 (-115)
Under 5.5 (-125)
Notes: Medium Rare is the strangest winless team in league history with a +1 differential at even strength but an 0-2 record due to a rash of penalties leading to three power play goals against, one of which was in OT and one of which was in the final minute of a tie game. They will have to stay out of the box to have any chance against a veteran blue squad which picked up a tight week one win against white. Tonight everyone is in except for Tim who told me he couldn’t make it because of Rockoff’s bachelor party, but then somehow Rockoff is playing tonight. I have no idea if he genuinely didn’t know when the bachelor party was or if he was just selling me the most half-assed, easily disprovable lie in recent history. Neither would surprise me. Regardless, we will miss that beautiful bald bastard but blue still likely to win, especially if pink picks up the 7 penalties that I have bribed the refs to call.
BONUS LINES
Most Points In This Game
Miles (-140)
Jason Campbell (EVEN)
Most Points In This Game
Miles + Alex + Cherie + Sam Gelman (-130)
Jason + Oberg + Source + Brita (-110)
Most Points In This Game
All Blue Ladies (-200)
All Pink Ladies (+145)
Will Josh Wagner Record A Point?
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Will Len Or Hilary Record A Point?
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Alt Total
Over 7.5 (+240)
Under 7.5 (-400)
Alt Total
Over 3.5 (-350)
Under 3.5 (+200)
Chili Peppers (+105)
Julie’s Football Club (-145)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)
Notes: Nate faces off against Julie in his second game as captain but hopefully the first one he will actually be on time for, not just as captain but possibly in his entire ball hockey career. For some reason it almost feels like a mother vs son hockey matchup although Nate looks nothing like Olivier. Chili Peppers are in for a world of hurt this regular season as Sam is currently projected to make 2-3 games, but they will hope to maintain middle of the pack seeding and turn it on come playoff time. Julie’s Football Club got absolutely savaged in the preseason power rankings by everyone except yours truly and looks to have a full lineup tonight. I’m betting they jump out to a somewhat surprising 2-0 start and make a serious climb in next week’s updated power ranks.
BONUS LINES
Most Points In This Game
Malik (-130)
Tarnow (-110)
Most Points In This Game
All Orange Ladies (-120)
All Red Ladies (-120)
Will Tash Record A Point?
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Alt Total
Over 7.5 (+240)
Under 7.5 (-400)
Alt Total
Over 3.5 (-350)
Under 3.5 (+200)
MelRose Place (-190)
Shooting Blancs (+150)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
Notes: I don’t know if you’ve noticed but every single game this season has gone under thus far, usually be a fairly large margin. 19 total goals in six games equates to 3.17 goals per game which is significantly below the 5.5 average of recent seasons. I’m not sure what exactly to attribute that to as goaltending is similar level, player pool is about the same and the game lengths for the first six were only shortened by one minute but it will bear watching if this is an early season statistical anomaly bound to regress to the mean or indicative of a larger overarching trend. Anyways, I threw that in here because I’m not really sure what to write for this game. The Blancs will have Tash subbing for Cara and McCauley is a GTD while MelRose has everyone in except for Mikey Schwartz. White definitely performed better than I expected in week one but I just don’t see them matching up to a full strength yellow team. MelRose by multiple goals.
BONUS LINES
Most Points In This Game
Wes (-130)
Simon + Tash (-110)
Most Points In This Game
Wes (-130)
Simon + Tash (-110)
Will DRo Record A Point?
Yes (-130)
No (-110)
Alt Total
Over 7.5 (+240)
Under 7.5 (-400)
Alt Total
Over 3.5 (-350)
Under 3.5 (+200)
Julie’s Football Club (-115)
Green Street Hooligans (-125)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
Notes: The final game of the night pits Julie against Glanzer, former co-captains of the legendary Cleveland Browns squad. Neil and Rich are out for green and KG is subbing for Amanda. Yehuda has been texting me on a near daily basis that he has once again woken up to see he is the D5 scoring leader. Will his run continue? We shall see if Yehuda can perform a Chanukah miracle on this Passover eve. Does he have enough oil to continue as the scoring leader for 8 more nights rather than 1? I don’t think so but I do think he’ll score a point tonight and green will win.
BONUS LINES
Most Points In This Game
Malik (-110)
Tom (-130)
Most Points In This Game
Tom + Stern + Yehuda (-120)
Malik + Amit + Dave Liang + Tash (-120)
Will Yehuda Record A Point?
Yes (-165)
No (+115)
Alt Total
Over 7.5 (+240)
Under 7.5 (-400)
Alt Total
Over 3.5 (-350)
Under 3.5 (+200)
Total Number Of Ellie Backchecks (doesn’t count if she just happens to be running backwards during a giveaway)
Over 0.5 (+200000)
Under 0.5 (-10000000000)