Weeks 3-4 Box Scores (Spring 2023)

Hungry Hippos 2.0 vs The Narwhals

1st Half:
NAR (1-0) – Adam Herman (1) (assisted by Tom McGuire) (8:45)
NAR (2-0) – Jack (1) (assisted by Annie) (13:27)
2nd Half:
HIP (1-2) – Adam Satok (1) (assisted by Tom White) (9:19)
HIP (2-2) – Hicks (1) (assisted by Hogg) (17:39)
HIP (3-2) – Hicks (2) (assisted by Hogg) (0:43)

GAME NOTES: Purple jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first half, spurred on by perhaps the nicest goal of Adam Herman’s career, but the Hippos stormed back with three straight goals, the last of which was in OT, to take the OT win. Hicks picked up two goals including the winner. Idk I was high in Denver.

3rd – Adam Herman (1G)
2nd – Hogg (2A)
1st – Hicks (2G)

MelRose Place vs The Narwhals

1st Half:
NAR (1-0) – Scott Metz (1) (assisted by Tom McGuire) (8:11)
2nd Half:
MRP (1-1) – Jeff Jacobson (1) (assisted by Danilo) (9:35)
NAR (2-1) – Jack (2) (unassisted) (18:54)

GAME NOTES: I was out to dinner when I received word from Jenn that the 2nd game of the night just barely avoided OT. I then received a text from Jack asking if I had seen his buzzer beater goal. Not wanting to whip out my phone and start watching D5 highlights at the table like a sick degenerate, I instead immediately went into the bathroom to see what the hell he was talking about. Seemed like a 97% chance it was some kind of slapshot or wrist shot. Instead, it was an attempted clear from behind his own net that bounced in because a) there was no light and b) Ridzik probably bet on purple. I then strolled back to my table and drank more sake. The end.

3rd – Scott Metz (1G)
2nd – Corey (1 GA)
1st – Jack (1G, I guess)

Hungry Hippos 2.0 vs The Narwhals

1st Period:
NAR (1-0) – Annie (1) (assisted by Tom McGuire) (0:28)
2nd Period:
HIP (1-1) – Hogg (1) (assisted by Jay Travers) (1:09)
HIP (2-1) – Dewey (1) (assisted by Meatbox) (3:26)
3rd Period:
HIP (3-1) – Matt Stabel (1) (PP) (assisted by Tom White) (5:25)
NAR (2-3) – Jack (3) (assisted by Shan) (6:48)
NAR (3-3) – Annie (2) (assisted by Tom McGuire) (11:23)
NAR (4-3) – Tom McGuire (1) (assisted by Jack) (12:23)

GAME NOTES: An immediate rematch of last week’s Hippos comeback featured the exact opposite script with the Hippos leading 3-1 with less than half of the 3rd period remaining before the Narwhals stormed back and somehow won in regulation. Word is that live regulation lines on purple went as high as +1000 before being shut down…Tom, Annie and Jack combined 7 of purples 8 points in this game and all sit top 6 in scoring. Purple taking Tom as an early 2nd rounder when no one knew him was the shock of the draft but thus far it has paid massive dividends as he’s tied for 2nd in league scoring.

3rd – Jack (1G, 1A)
2nd – Annie (2G)
1st – Tom McGuire (1G, 2A)

Medium Rare vs I Just Blue Myself

1st Period:
BLOW (1-0) – Miles (3) (assisted by Hilary) (1:26)
BLOW (2-0) – Caitlin (1) (assisted by Cherie) (12:02)
2nd Period:
BLOW (3-0) – Eli (1) (assisted by Robyn) (0:46)
RARE (1-3) – Source (2) (assisted by Rockoff) (4:58)
3rd Period:
BLOW (4-1) – Justin McNeil (2) (unassisted) (4:47)
BLOW (5-1) – Sam Gelman (1) (assisted by Mikey) (5:59)
BLOW (6-1) – Miles (4) (assisted by Cherie) (9:43)
BLOW (7-1) – Justin McNeil (3) (assisted by Miles) (10:29)

GAME NOTES: Blue scored backbreaking goals on the first shift of the game and in the final minute of the 1st period. A Source goal off a set faceoff play pulled pink to within one and they mostly dominated possession in the 2nd period but in the end they had to press and blue responded with four unanswered goals to put the game away…before the game Miles was telling the team to beware of Mahoney. Someone asked who the hell Mahoney was. We pointed to the drunk guy giving our bench the double middle finger. Good times…Jeff flipped my stick so high it almost went into orbit. Highly embarrassing. I wasn’t going to put this on the YouTube page but I put it on Google Drive for Jeff to enjoy and somehow AK saw it and loved it so fuck it, give the people what they want eh…Mahoney is so prolific in his wanton disregard for human life that Ryann turned a video of her getting smoked into a GIF. No, really…

3rd – Cherie (2A)
2nd – Justin McNeil (2G)
1st – Miles (2G, 1A)

Chili Peppers vs Julie’s Football Club

2nd Period:
JFC (1-0) – Dave Liang (1) (assisted by Tash) (3:29)
CHI (1-1) – Jacob Gitzis (2) (assisted by Ashkon) (9:54)
3rd Period:
JFC (2-1) – Mitch Gronowitz (1) (assisted by Tash) (5:24)
JFC (3-1) – Dave Liang (2) (assisted by Tash) (8:38)
CHI (2-3) – Mike Tarnow (1) (assisted by Nate Lerner) (9:35)
CHI (3-3) – Ryann (1) (assisted by Mike Tarnow) (10:21)
JFC (4-3) – Amit (1) (PP) (assisted by Malik) (12:55)

GAME NOTES: After a scoreless first period, JFC opened up a 3-1 lead before the Chili Peppers scored two goals in less than a minute to tie it. Undeterred, Amit buried a slapshot with 5 seconds left to send Football Club fans into hysterics and orange to 2-0 on the season…it was Tash’s birthday and she had a cheering section present with balloons, booze and donuts. She rewarded them with three assists in this game, tying a league record.

3rd – Mike Tarnow (1G, 1A)
2nd – Dave Liang (2G)
1st – Tash (3A)

MelRose Place vs Shooting Blancs

1st Period:
MRP (1-0) – Wes (1) (unassisted) (4:20)
MRP (2-0) – Sean Kittridge (1) (unassisted) (12:00)
2nd Period:
MRP (3-0) – Sean Kittridge (2) (assisted by Wes) (7:26)
3rd Period:
BLNC (1-3) – Simon (1) (assisted by Tyler) (5:43)
MRP (4-1) – Pags (1) (assisted by Wes) (8:15)
BLNC (2-4) – Andreas (1) (assisted by Keith) (10:17)
MRP (5-2) – The Slim Reaper (1) (EN) (unassisted) 11:37)

GAME NOTES: Ridzik requested special lines on under 1.5 team total for white and under 0.5 team total for white, aka a shutout although he asked me repeatedly not to use that word (whoops). Thus, while the game was somewhat out of reach, Andreas became a hero to the league sportsbook as his goal with 2:43 left sank the unders and made Jenn very happy…Adam Herman had DRo under 0.5 points and spent the entire game in the scorers box proclaiming that it was “free money.” His giddiness quickly subsided when MelRose’s empty netter was credited with an assist to DRo which is like the most typical way to lose an points under bet I’ve ever heard of. Unfortunately, while this would have been great content, upon reviewing video of the final goal league offices officially recorded the goal as unassisted as no player on yellow established clear possession…no idea why but decided to pay homage to Rick Nash and his questionable Jeopardy clue with the empty netter.

3rd –Simon (1G)
2nd – Sean Kittridge (2G)
1st – Wes (2G, 1A)

Julie’s Football Club vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Mike Stern (1) (assisted by Tom Fitzgerald) (12:58)
2nd Period:
GSH (2-0) – Mike Stern (2) (assisted by Tom Fitzgerald) (4:52)
JFC (1-2) – Amit (2) (assisted by Julie) (9:50)
3rd Period:
JFC (2-2) – Tash (1) (assisted by Mitch) (1:28)
Shootout Winner Scored By Tom

GAME NOTES: The final game of the evening pitted two evenly matched rivals against each other. Orange dominated most of the play after the 1st period but Max played well and the court was pretty wet despite zero rain which caused all sorts of weird falls. In the end fans were treated to our first shootout of the season which Tom ended for green in round 3…Dave Liang requested and received a personal line on him to score the OT winner, then took a possibly league record three minute shift in the 3 on 3. Yehuda requested a live line on Max stopping his brother Joe in the shootout which he just barely was able to do. I wish more games turned into degen live betting markets…reminder that players are welcome to email the D5 stats department with any corrections and we will check the video record and gladly correct stats if they were misrecorded. However if you send us stat corrections that are demonstrably false, we will publicly shame you…frequent shouts of “LADIES NIGHT” can be heard on video throughout the evening’s games as women accounted for 13 points on the evening. Going to track if that’s the most we’ll have this season; will probably appear in this week’s updated prop lines.

3rd – Tash (1G)
2nd – Stern (2G)
1st – Tom Fitzgerald (2A, SOW)

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