Shooting Blancs (-120)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)
Over 5.5 (-115)
Under 5.5 (-125)
What They’re Playing For: With a win in this game the Blancs will clinch a 3rd seed at worst and give themselves a chance (if the win is in regulation) to climb all the way up to 2nd place and a consequent bye directly into the final four. Meanwhile Cup Size needs two regulation wins and some help but they could climb as high as 3rd place by the end of the night. As far as individual accolades, Meatbox still has a chance to win his 2nd career scoring title as he is currently tied for 1st in points with Jack (who holds the goals tiedbreaker) while Simon will be looking to pick up his 2nd consecutive Leetch Award. These teams are fairly even on paper and with Jeff Green subbing for black against Hogg for white, the goaltending will be elite and probably decide the game. Tough one to call so I’m likely sticking to the under even though both these teams are among the highest scoring in the league. Also placing a small bet on Meatbox to win the scoring title. Which reminds me:
BONUS LINE
Who Will Win The D5 Scoring Title?
Jack (-140)
Meatbox (EVEN)
Field (+360)
YeHooligan’s Heroes (+130)
The Muskies (-170)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)
What They’re Playing For: The Muskies, preseason title favorites and top two in the standings for most of the season, have suddenly dropped 3 straight in regulation and now are in danger of finishing as low as 6th place which would subject them to two more playoff games than if they had finished 2nd. 2nd place is now off the table, but they can still finish as high as 3rd. They’ll look to do so against what I continue to believe is the best last place team we’ve had. Green is locked into that play-in barring a miracle (regulation win by many goals and a red loss by many goals later in the evening) so they’re only playing for pride. I think they’ll keep this one close, especially with Miles once again out for purple, but Jack informed me that he told his team a win is mandatory and I think they’ll come out with the proper response. Muskies by 2.
BONUS LINE
More Points In This Game
Jack + Annie (-160)
Oberg + Yehuda (+120)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+105)
EJ Entertainment (-150)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
What They’re Playing For: Blue just needs a single win, regulation or OT, to clinch 1st place while black needs two wins on the night to move up to 3rd. Krishan and Phelps are both out for blue, with Eli from the YeHooligans subbing in net, but Jacob and Nestor will each be playing their first games of the season (and we pray that they will keep it civil out there). Though AJ is missing the first game he will apparently be back in time for this one, but I’m not sure if it will be enough for a black team that struggled mightily with the speed of blue the first time these teams met. EJ Entertainment to roll and clinch 1st.
BONUS LINE
More Points In This Game
Hicks + Eric (+120)
Sam + AFrey (-165)
MelRose Place (+115)
Pinky Swear $#*! (-160)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)
What They’re Playing For: Pink needs a win to clinch a top 2 seed; simple as that. Just one season after finishing 9th out of 10 teams Jake and Mo have a chance to clinch a bye directly into the final four. Meanwhile neon yellow is most likely locked into the 5-7 range of the standings but they do have an outside chance of moving up to 4th if they win in regulation by a lot of goals and the Muskies lose in regulation by a lot of goals, as does Cup Size. They’ll also have to do it without captain Mel who is missing this game and will need to pick up a defensive girl sub to be named later. Neon’s been impressive all season with their speed game giving a lot of opponents fits in the neutral zone. Unfortunately I don’t think it’ll be enough against Wes, Sean, Jess and the rest of the pinky swear crew. On a night where every game is crucial, chalk should continue to reign as a full-strength pink clinches a top two seed.
BONUS LINE
More Points In This Game
Jason Campbell + DRo (EVEN)
Wes (-145)
Red Rockets (+120)
EJ Entertainment (-160)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)
What They’re Playing For: The final game of the regular season, incredibly. Scotty asked me to postpone this game til Friday, a truly absurd request but not the most absurd one he’s made all season somehow (he said he wanted to cancel because the rink might be wet but on the basis of his many pregame sex talks I don’t think that’s the real reason). While Scotty and Vanessa haven’t asked for subs I have to assume they don’t have a fully optimal lineup. Then again, red hasn’t really had that all season since 1st round pick Corey got injured just two games into the season and it’s shown with a 3-6 record and a -10 goal differential. The first time these teams met it was a tight 4-2 win for blue. I think this one will similarly be a lot closer than people might think, but should still end in a win for team sex worker.
BONUS LINE
More Points In This Game
Scotty + Brita (+115)
Sam (-160)