Unfortunately I don’t have enough photos of Ridzik for any type of variety in the images I post with his usually unhinged commentary. I’ve known this man since I met him at 1 AM in McQuade’s basement on the 4th of July 2021 when half the people there were doing blow and we were just trying to gamble. He has some thoughts on your gambling but didn’t get them in in time to hit press for the betting lines, so he gets his own feature.
First, the super boost:
Ridzik Parlay Super Boost:
Pete Anytime Goalscorer vs Purple
Female To Score Point In Calfs/Pranksters
Blancs -2 vs BST/BING Winner
Blancs TT over 6 goals vs BST/BING Winner
Phelps under 2.5 goals allowed
Was: +1350
Boosted to: +1700
Anywho…
Ridzik’s Advice For Sickos Desparate Enough To Listen To Him:
There’s too much talent in the 8-9 game to be considered the toilet bowl of the league. Granted, you have a better chance of seeing a Jenn hat trick circa 2021 than you do of seeing either team back check, which is why I love the over in this game. I fully expect to see more shots ripped in this game than ones taken at the Dorrian’s and gala bar combined, and Pete alone will likely rip more shots in this game than I did all of 2023 (which is only from 01 JAN through 23 MAY for those playing along at home). Give me the Bastards and a Pete goal (see the can’t lose parlay. I’ve never lost a bet I’ve won)
Pranksters will always hold a special place in my heart. Haters will always hate (hate hate) but Sonj in net changes things but only slightly. It can only mean one thing though: ladies night is in full effect. The jump from ice to 96th street ball is a tough one and takes a bit to transition into, but let’s talk about the Calfs regular team for a second. There may not be a Dathan on this team but the team certainly IDOLIZES puck possession. In fact, possession and property are so important to this team I wonder if they wanna even GIVE themselves a chance to win. The total number of passes initiated by Yehuda and Minsky combined may not exceed 4 all game and much like Abe Lincoln, neither of them can’t finish a play (check the game notes). It’s a shame too because Minsky’s talent will certainly be hindered due to tending to Big Deke’s rent-free beachfront residence in his prefrontal cortex (you have a better chance of getting the bullet out of JFK’s head than you do BDE from his), so expect a quick Exodus from the playoffs, after a parting of the red crease and into the wilderness known as the offseason as they then learn the Laws of hockey. They’ll Number the days until spring season, and choose allegiance to things of our own creation (idolatry), or choose life and wisdom by creating opportunities (iykyk)
In terms of the Blancs and Black, I think it will actually be game of the night. Not much to shit talk on either team here other than the fact that Black’s backchecking and Simon have different standards of excellence. They are dedicated, but deficient and while I believe in their potential to improve, White will execute (again check the game notes). Don’t get me wrong, it’s clear that Black is trying to try as they’re excellent attempters, it just leaves opportunities to see how the goaltending plays out. After a quick prayer to puck line Jesus, -2 cashes late in a 7-4 victory.
If I had a dollar for every nice thing I could say about Blue, I would be back in debt. What Frey pulled to put this team together is still mind boggling. You might think how we could bet against the house that “always wins”, but his teams constantly assault my happiness. Yes they will have playoff Phelps and that was a spectacle to watch last year. His GAA was less than what most people would blow into a breathalyzer on a typical night at Dorrians or Gem Saloon and if he gets hot again, who knows what Blue might be able to do. Sobriety shouldn’t factor in here and while everyone deserves love, Blue will always be the exception. Irregardless, money talks. Blue by a decent chunk (sorry Gelman, pls prove me wrong) and depending on the number of brewskis, PRK TT U2.5
I don’t cap my games. Sorry losers.