The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Glazin’ Donuts (-2.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 6.5 Goals (-105)
Under 6.5 Goals (-135)
Notes: The first two games of the evening will be played with 11 minute periods, hence the low over/under total when anything under 7 was basically never seen. But also this game will put two of the league’s best goalies against each other as Jeff Green takes on Sonj. The only reason the line is even as high as it is considering those factors is that these teams have a ton of firepower, with Jo and Joe in for black while Donuts has a short bench and can run a unit of Ryan/Tarnow/Nate out every other shift. That said, Sonj does seem like Ryan’s toughest goals matchup historically due to her propensity to seal the ice where Ryan does a lot of his damage. Both of these teams have major sleeper energy going into the playoffs but considering the type of lineup Donuts is set to roll out (plus their wealth of big-game experience), I’m inclined to back them. Donuts 5-2.
WATCH PARTY PICKS: Apparently there’s a possible playoff watch party going on in LIC involving members of Glatts, Tony’s wife, Tony’s parachute, sushi and a 0.0001% chance of a Dan Glattman appearance. I decided to ask these animals for their picks for prospective gamblers to either tail or fade. The consensus: Donuts to cover and the over. Public seems to agree.
Pinky Toe (+115)
Street Meat (-160)
Over 9.0 Goals (-120)
Under 9.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: Even with the shortened gametimes, I’m expecting this one to be a total goalfest. Had this been a full game, the total would have been 9.5 or 10.0 which is virtually unprecedented for a playoff game. That said, while Street Meat did play a surprisingly low scoring 3-2 game vs Glatt’s last week, they still have generally been lacking on the defensive end all season although getting Ariel back tonight will certainly help in that regard. What does the public think?
Public is completely split in the very rarely seen exact 50/50 polling split but I think it’s justified. These teams met once this season and it was a predictably crazy game with Meat jumping out to a 2-0 lead, pink leading. by two in the 3rd only for yellow to tie it late before pink took back the lead with 4:04 left and added an empty netter with 7 seconds left. I don’t see things being quite THAT crazy in this one but also shouldn’t be that much different although personnel-wise, Ariel being in and Yehuda Silverman being out does certainly swing the odds a bit. APK will do what he can on the back-end in what appears to be the final D5 game of an excellent career, but I’m not sure it’ll be enough. 6-4 Meat.
WATCH PARTY PICKS: Street Meat and the under. I think this may be the first time all season that someone has bet the under in a game involving either one of these teams. Better save some of that sushi money for when this game hits double digit goals.
The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Chappell Red (-2.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (-120)
Under 7.5 Goals (-120)
Glazin’ Donuts (EVEN)
Chappell Red (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (-120)
Under 7.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: We are now reaching contingent matchups which makes the lines and the anal(ysis) significantly tougher and honestly more painful. What does the pubic think of this one?
Red favored just short of 69%. Very nice for many reasons and a lot of respect to throw the 6 seed but with good reason as they’ve been on a heater the last month of the season, winning 5 in a row and achieving 4th in the most recent power rankings ahead of the 3rd and 5th seeded teams in the standings. Also hurting Donuts significantly should that be their opponent is that in this game they’d be rolling out Yehuda rather than Tarnow. Yehuda did play one of his best ball hockey games of all time last spring in a playoff appearance for this franchise, but that’s still a tough downgrade even if Yehuda does chirp his tandem-mate by calling him old. Very on-brand and very rude to the 80s children among us. This game is far more of a tossup than people think in my opinion, but that tandem situation gives red the advantage by a hair.
WATCH PARTY PICKS: Red and the over. Will these guys ever disagree on anything?
PINK/MEAT (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Bruise Control (-2.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (-110)
Under 7.5 Goals (-130)
Notes: For this one I don’t really even have to make separate lines depending on matchup because pink and yellow are so similar stylistically. It’s going to be a classic offense vs defense battle. What do the people think?
Just like the pink/yellow picks were a toss-up, there was only one total vote separating them in advancing through this round. The challenge for either team will be penetrating purple’s vaunted defense to get traffic and shots on Carl and limiting purple’s counterattack chances. All things considered, it’s the under for me.
WATCH PARTY PICKS: Street Meat for both and the under. The watch party thinks Street Meat is going to win a low scoring defensive battle. Guess they’re with Chuck.
MASS/GLAZ/RED (-120)
Merry Pranksters (-120)
Over 8.0 Goals (EVEN)
Under 8.0 Goals (-145)
PINK/MEAT/BRC (+150)
Sex Ed (-230)
Over 7.0 Goals (-120)
Under 7.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: The permutations for these games are just too ridiculous to list each one out individually but here’s consolidated lines for both. Public seems to be torn on game one, not as much on game two.
WATCH PARTY PICKS: Red and the over, blue and the under. Did these guys consult on their picks? Will they bankrupt the league sportsbook? Will we do a live look-in on the watch party like they do during NHL games or will Tony’s wife just cancel the whole thing? Only one way to find out. See ya tonight.