Return Of The Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-130)
Under 6.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: This is the first leg of what appears to be a tripleheader between these two teams this season due to purple switching around like half their games after the schedule was released. Orange really didn’t want to play the same team three times but they are at the mercy of these swaps which honestly might need to be reigned in next season as people are animals. In any case, this is likely to be one of the most competitive games of the night. Purple, despite all their schedule swaps, apparently won’t have Tom Fitz tonight. I think Pie Pie is markedly better at full strength but they won’t have Jo Robin or Ariel tonight. They do have Simon making his season debut after multiple games where he turned them down due to golf obligations. I’m not sure how good his golf game is but he used to be a pretty good hockey player. If he remembers how to play, orange should be able to pull out a hard fought W. Pie Pie 5-3.
Legally Blonde (-2.0 Goals) (-135)
Hockey at Glatt’s (+2.0 Goals) (-105)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: A battle between two teams that I am universally higher on than the public. Brown ranked 11th out of 12 in the last edition of the power rankings despite barely losing two games last week, one of which was in a shootout. Meanwhile pink was ranked last in the initial power rankings, probably because of the Yehuda factor, but they’re actually a very solid and very fast team. They’re floundering around .500 right now but with a game tonight that they really should win along with one Friday that’s likely to also be a win, I think they’re going to be top 4 by the end of the week. I like this Glatt’s team more than pretty much anyone I’ve talked to; they have speed, they have talent and they have goaltending. But against a solid pink lineup tonight that is also featuring APK returning from probably engaging in some type of overseas orgy winning a gold medal abroad, I don’t think it’s going to happen for them tonight. Pink 6-3.
The MilkMob (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)
Rediohead (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
Over 5.0 Goals (-135)
Under 5.0 Goals (-105)
Notes: This is one of the premier rivalries in the league with red informing me multiple times before and during the season that the MilkMob has never notched a win against them. This was punctuated by a pretty public declaration that this wasn’t the year in the most recent edition of the league’s power rankings.
So what is actually going to happen? Well, MilkMob will have most of its lineup in tow, with Max in net, and needless to say everyone’s favorite squad of dairy farmers will be amped for this one. But they’ll be facing off against a goalie in Campbell who’s given up 2 goals in his last two games and a red team that is starting to get hot after a slow start brought on by Campbell’s now famous month-long bender. I do think this is possibly the strongest top-to-bottom MilkMob roster in their history, but I know the public will be all over red. With rumors abound of a possible special trophy coming in for what is being dubbed “The Cheeks Bowl,” this probably has to be the game of the night. In what should be a battle for the ages, I’m taking the under.
The Mighty Ducks (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)
Great Sexpectations (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: The Cheeks Bowl may be the game of the night from a fan perspective but this one has a solid argument as the actual game of the night from a standings perspective. These are currently the #1 and #3 teams in points per game in the league and both made the final four last season. Their lone meeting last season was a 4-3 Friday night shootout victory for the Ducks who revamped the lineup but have a lot of returning faces. Former captain and Player Of The Years finalist Sarah Hoffman is out for this one but KG is in while former Rookie Of The Year and Playoff MVP Kate likely comes in to run the blue bench before she moves to California and joins the team’s Board Of Directors. It’s a tight matchup and this season’s tandems create the hilarious situation of Satok playing against blue before he plays with them in the very next game. But with Sophia making her season debut for blue after attending the Dinner Of Champions on Saturday and James making his season debut for the top scoring tandem so far this season, I’m favoring blue by 1.5 here.
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+3.0 Goals) (+300)
Great Sexpectations (-3.0 Goals) (-500)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: Blue has won all three of their previous games, no matter the lineup, by four goals. And even if its the back-end of a back-to-back – doesn’t really matter. Saturday’s Dinner Of Champions will have provided all the fuel necessary. Meanwhile since a surprise game one victory over Cheeks, Cup Size has lost three straight including two on Friday night by a combined score of 10-5 and apparently a few players bailed this morning. Nothing else really needs to be said. Short benches for both teams, possibly KG subbing for black and a going away party for Kate. 7-1 Sex. See ya tonight.