Show Bobs (+160)
Hootie & The Doug Fish (-250)
Over 8.0 Goals (-145)
Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Extremely difficult to figure out where to set this week’s game totals considering the five week one contests saw an astounding 53 goals scored for an average of 10.6 per game. And it’s not even like there were a bunch of reasonable scoring games with one crazy 20 goal outlier; every single game hit the over. I’m going to go ahead and assume that was a coincidence and goals will eventually regress to the mean but one things for certain: after a few seasons where we averaged around 5.5-6.0 goals per game, the dead puck era of D5 is officially over as no one seems particularly interested in playing defense anymore. I’m expecting this game to be no different, perhaps to the chagrin of Zisser and Doug who are both playing behind teams that should be run-and-gun all season. To be fair, camo only gave up two goals in week one but that may have had a lot to due with red’s roster issues, at least if you ask Campbell. Also they will no doubt be looking for revenge on Jenn after she bungled the jersey order and for some reason assigned them green rather than camo that they were going to wear in honor of Doug’s father’s military service. Disrespecting the troops like that is decidedly not a great omen and black is honestly lucky that former marine Ken won’t be here to exact his own revenge. Regardless, unless Bramson and Doug get distracted by boobs (which cannot be ruled out), I think they have enough juice to take this. 6-4 Doug Fish.
Attack Of The Pie Pie (-120)
Pink Panthers (-120)
Over 8.0 Goals (-145)
Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: This matchup in my opinion is way closer than the public probably gives it credit for. Yes, orange is a perennial contender and undoubtedly one of the league’s top franchises having never missed a final four but I honestly have no idea what to expect from half their roster; they could be great or they could have a steep ball hockey learning curve. It’s possible some of these guys from James’ office don’t even play hockey and will be late to the game having spent their afternoon celebrating intern season on Stone Street. Pink, meanwhile, comes into this season with a revamped roster, a revamped front office and the hope to not carry over any of the defensive habits that made Sophia question her life choices for much of last season. Using a 1st rounder on defense was probably a wise move in that regard and honestly there’s no pick that I can really pinpoint as being downright bad. But I also couldn’t pinpoint anything wrong with the pink draft last year and it just never quite clicked. Always tough to predict which groups will mesh and which will never hit their stride in the sprint of a D5 season. The ultimate wildcard in the bunch is Jason Campbell, a former 1st rounder and one of the league’s all time top scorers in goals per game. If he can recapture his form from before his move the 3rd round pick could end up being a steal and allow pink to trot out two top scorers and the top defensive tandem available in the draft. If he struggles in his return, it could be another long season for the Panthers. Too much uncertainty for me to declare a definitive favorite in this one, but when in doubt, take the over.
Double Teamed (-120)
The Royal Sampler (-120)
Over 7.5 Goals (-145)
Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Purple looked great last week in a season opening 6-4 win over Glatt’s although it should be noted that the Glatt’s defense for much of the night was doing their best impression of pink last season. Still, it was an encouraging start as the offense was more explosive than they were at any point last season whileCarl looks to have not really missed a beat since his legendary playoff run. Double Teamed, meanwhile, goes into the season as the 2nd ranked team in the power rankings but missing a good bit of firepower tonight as the 3rd and 4th rounders are out, among others. But with Levine, Craig and Corey in net looking to rebound from an injury plagued spring, the sky’s the limit for this group if they can get consistent attendance and avoid the pitfalls that often plague tandem-heavy squads. Another matchup that’s probably too close to call from a moneyline standpoint but even with the goaltending matchup as sexy as it gets, the over is the play for me.
Merry Pranksters (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
Pink Panthers (+1.5 Goals) EVEN)
Over 7.5 Goals (-120)
Under 7.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: The Pink Panthers will wrap up their season opening back-to-back against the Pranksters who for the second straight season look poised to surprise the league. In their opener they thoroughly dominated Shake n’ Bake although some of that may have been because Nate was half an hour late to the game and eventually just got scratched in favor of James who wasn’t even supposed to be playing in that one. With Sonj appearing to be back from injury and Maddy making her debut tonight, they absolutely must be favored in this one. I still don’t think pink is going to necessarily be bad this season, but I don’t see them taking down this one against a fast paced Pranksters team. The elite lady goalie matchup will be one to watch, but the tie dye defense with Satok and Anthony anchoring should push them over the edge. 5-2 Pranksters.
The Royal Sampler (-200)
Shake ‘n Bake (+135)
Over 7.5 Goals (-145)
Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: The final game of the evening and I truly hope one of these teams is wearing white or it’s going to be a complete disaster for viewers, refs and probably the players on both teams as well. Both of these squads notched upset wins in week one over Glatt’s but otherwise are as different as it gets with Shake n’ Bake being a classic Clap-style run-and-gun squad while purple, despite the additions of Jo and Oskar, generally goes defense first. It didn’t quite work out that way in a super high scoring week one but that was the case league-wide and really only giving up four goals to Glatt’s can generally be considered a win in any season. The wildcards on both sides are the rookies: for navy, it’s Gianfranco who was the subject of massive preseason controversy when orange missed him by one pick and could not acquire him, then after seeing the power rankings he decided he’d rather stay on navy anyways. For purple it’s Luc who put up four points in week one. When multiple people asked me about him before the draft and then he went round 6, i knew he’d be good but he’s now the betting favorite to lead purple in points. We’ll see how he follows up week one’s performance but either way, this should be a wild nightcap. Assuming both teams at full strength, I think that while I’m overall bullish navy, like in the Stonecutters card game, it’s tough to beat the Royal Sampler. 5-3 purple.