Cookie Monsters (-145)
The Golden Gods (EVEN)
Over 6.5 Goals (-110)
Under 6.5 Goals (-130)
Notes: The opening game of the night sees a purple team that just picked up their first win of the season on Tuesday night (albeit significantly aided by an incredibly rare opposing goalie major penalty/ejection) against a yellow team that has lost two games by the skin of their teeth, both by one goal, both with multiple chances to tie it late. Incredibly, they’ve only allowed four goals in two games (not counting the late empty netter Tuesday) and the defense looks absolutely stacked. Unfortunately, however, they’ve somehow only scored three goals in those two games and that’s simply not going to cut it, particularly when they’re facing a consensus top three goalie in the league in Carl tonight (at the very least, he’s better than his friend from Tuesday). Purple certainly should be favored in this one as the likely public betting favorite. But assuming Cam can keep up his solid form from Tuesday night, and particularly with Campbell driving in from Boston for this game, don’t sleep on Golden Gods. Under for me.
Pinky Promise (-120)
The Dolly Pranksters (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 6.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: I haven’t asked either team for a lineup card, neither team submitted one and if anyone actually slams this line I will probably have to actually do so. But based on what I’m projecting I have these teams internally ranked extremely similarly. Pink is a tough out for any team because they have more depth than usual (probably due to Tommy’s presence in the draft room) and because Tyler can keep them in any game, even ones where they’re being mostly outpossessed like recent matchups with purple and blue. The Pranksters, meanwhile, have seen a complete philosophical shift this year, probably due to the presence of Satok in their draft room, as they’ve gone from being Gelman’s run and gun adventure to a team that invests in defense every season and has been rewarded for it with the two most successful seasons in franchise history. It’s crazy to see this low a game total for a game between pink and tie-dye but it’s warranted and with scoring around the league seemingly finally regressing down to actual reasonable hockey levels, I think this might still go under. The only variable is that Friday night games generally average far more goals than Tuesdays but I don’t think that makes a huge difference when the teams are trotting out elite dmen on every shift and elite goaltending in Jeff and Tyler. Give me the under for this one with a slight lean on a Pranksters win.
Sexcellence (-120)
Revenge of the Pie Pie (-120)
Over 7.0 Goals (-120)
Under 7.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: Blue is currently 4-0 and in first place in the standings but tonight they’ll get probably their toughest test of the season as they’ll have to play this one without both of their starting centers in Chad and Ryan. It’s a difficult task against a mostly fully loaded orange team that will have all of their top draft picks in the lineup with Craig, James, Danilo and Chris all ready to go. They’ll also reportedly have the flabongo on the bench which is great for team morale if not for team coordination. Pie Pie got off to a flying start in pounding the Cookie Monsters in week one and led Pranksters with under 30 seconds left before giving up the tying goal late and then falling in OT. Tonight they’ll have Mel and Cam subbing in but otherwise it’s up to the Jefferies crew to carry the squad both to a victory and to the postgame celebration at Dorrian’s where rumor has it they’re picking up the entire league tab. I actually think they should be slightly favored in this matchup, even with a potential Bramson sub appearance for blue if he can finish moving in time, but years of running this account and pioneering the entire “gamble on rec ball hockey games” movement have demonstrated that public money very rarely goes against blue. I’m labeling this a toss-up until further notice. Will be hitting the flabongo early and often in the event of a blue victory though (possibly in the event of a loss as well).
Bruger King (-1.5 Goals) (-120)
Red Bunny (+1.5 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: The Friday night premier of the Bruger King franchise and fans are on edge as rumors swirl all over Twitter about what this is going to entail. Fan giveaways? Between period entertainment? Whopper tosses (that one was my suggestion)? Legal advice? Bodner crucifixion? Whatever the case may be, there’s no doubt this is one of the most awaited games of the season. True, they already played once, a shootout win over camo last week. But there was no whopper toss, no pre or post game alcoholism – in many ways, it just resembled a regular hockey game. And really who wants that? People in a hockey league? Maybe. But not these people. And not you, dear reader. Tonight, we are all witnesses. God bless.
Sgt. Siwash (-1.0 Goals) (-145)
Red Bunny (+1.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: I don’t think I mentioned red once in the writeup for their previous game so let’s discuss. Well, they got killed. But was that a) because green is really good, b) red is really bad or c) they had Carl’s friend in net who not only hadn’t played in a decade but was also described by Carl as the “worst goalie in Stockholm” and thus they possibly did not ice their best lineup possible? In my opinion, likely a combination of all three. Tonight they should have Campbell back in net and I assume most of their regular lineup. Siwash meanwhile won’t have Doug but otherwise should have most of their guys in and despite an 0-2 record, both losses were really as tight as it gets in extra time. I think they have to be favored with their championship pedigree, with Lucas’ dad strength, with red possibly tired after eating BK Big Fishes during their previous game and with Campbell looking ahead to his latest bender which begins 20 minutes after this game concludes over at Dorrian’s. See ya there.