Rediohead (-200)
Legally Blonde (+140)
Over 5.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 5.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: AI still has a long way to go as can be seen by the guy with a speech bubble that says “swaking marijuana” when I clearly asked for the guy to just be smoking it. In any case, this is a truly fascinating game with red looking a bit worse than expected (probably due to Campbell’s monthlong bender) while pink has looked better than expected. Tonight pink won’t have a full lineup but they still have most of their top players in, minus APK who is still “sick” with a mystery illness that the entire Greek national team contracted after their goal medal victory last month. Just through the use of context clues and common sense this sounds less like covid (+300) and far more likely something in the sexual realm (-500). Despite the fact that their sole win this season was with him at forward, red’s fortunes this season are largely going to live and die with Campbell. When he was in record setting form in the spring he went 8-0 and led them to a 1st place regular season finish. I think it’s only a matter of time before he starts pulling that insanity again. 3-2 red.
A$$ Fault Green (+150)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (-230)
Over 6.5 Goals (-115)
Under 6.5 Goals (-125)
Notes: It’s been a difficult start to the season for green who have had Maddy miss several games and have received overall inconsistent attendance. Look for more of the same tonight as Maddy is out (replaced by team alum Alex Horton), Cam subs in net and Ryan remains out with a concussion so Lucas continues to fully get his moneys worth from this tandem situation. The team as a whole hasn’t been playing poorly per se but just poorly enough to have lost three of their first four games. Purple, meanwhile, picked up a pretty crazy win in their last game where they had to play basically the entire 1st period with an empty net and somehow escaped that period with a 2-2 tie en route to a 5-4 OT win. Fitz is currently #3 in the scoring race despite having logged a game on defense and Cedric is an early candidate for either sleeper or ROY. Two weeks ago I would have had this game in coinflip range. Based on what we’ve seen the first two weeks, the Purple Monkey Dishwasher brigade simply must be favored here to keep the good times rolling.
Great Sexpectations (-230)
I’m Schvitzing (+150)
Over 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 7.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: Schvitzing seems to have most of their guys in tow except for Harry who’s out and Sean who has yet to respond to the team poll. They’re currently riding high with a 2-0 record despite the absence of team captain and top defender Joe Moskowitz. He’s back tonight but they’ll also be facing a similarly undefeated blue team that actually has a bench for the first time all season. Will actually having subs confuse the players? One thing’s for sure with Schvitz: they are as run-and-gun of a team as we’ve seen in a long while and will look to outscore every opponent this season. That’s going to be quite a stylistic matchup against a team that is generally one of the tops defensively in the league every season. I really don’t know how this one is going to go but based on expected public action, which hovers in the 80-90% range of bets on blue in each game, this line seems about right. The over would be an easy call as well if not for the fact that blue’s only given up three goals in two games this season and no one seems particularly likely to shit their pants tonight (can never be ruled out though). Classic stay-away trap game.
Hockey at Glatt’s (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)
Return Of The Clap (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
Over 6.5 Goals (-145)
Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Two teams that have had rough starts to the season as Glatt’s has yet to score while Clap gave up 9 goals to Cup Size on Wednesday night. Still, they were ranked #2 in the preseason power ranks and I think most people are betting on a rebound from them. I think they’ll generally be find this season but the chaos I witnessed in their defensive zone on Wednesday coupled with Ryan having a possible concussion make this game tighter than you might think. I have this game rated as significantly closer than the public but due to what I imagine is going to be an absolute public hammering of the Clap, I have no choice but to install them as a two goal favorite. Still, don’t sleep on Glatt’s as they’ll have both of their top round players in tonight for the first time all season.
UPDATE: Unprecedented team hammer on Glatt’s +2 by most of the team. Honestly, I love the spirit. Line moves to 1.5 and may god have mercy on all of our souls.
I’m Schvitzing (-120)
Return Of The Pie Pie (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-130)
Under 6.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: A battle between two of my favorite non-blue teams (along with MilkMob of course) looks to be a dead heat between what are also likely two of the top teams in the league. Max is sadly missing what would have been a beautiful grudge match with his brother but Sonj will get the call to sub for orange while in exchange grey has been given free reign to take any sub. Joe is currently on the horn trying to get one of his ringer friends who were supposed to register for this season but forgot to come in tonight; otherwise, it’s a likely sub appearance from someone in one of the earlier games. Either way, it should be extremely close. Orange has a close to full lineup with James back from Europe and Jo testing out his groin after possibly injuring it a few weeks ago but the speed and depth of grey’s forward group is sure to give them fits. Game will likely come down to the Cam vs Sonj battle and which one of them is able to play above expectation vs which one is more tired in what will be her 2nd and his 3rd game of the night. I have no idea which way this one will swing but it’s the over for me.
The MilkMob (-1.0 Goals) (-170)
Hockey at Glatt’s (+1.0 Goals) (+120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-135)
Under 6.5 Goals (-105)
Notes: The west coast game in a loaded post-labor day slate. Glatt’s second game of the night but they finally have both their top guys while MilkMob is looking for their first win of the season. Still unclear which tandem member will get the call or how Cam will look in what would be his fourth game of the evening. Public will be all over Milk so they are of course favored but this is going to be a sneaky tough game and I think a probably sneaky high scoring game. Despite Milk being the surprise defensive team of the season with tight 2-1 losses in each of their first two games, it’s the over for me again. See ya tonight.