Week 1 Betting Lines (Summer 2018)

The Charging Cheetahs (-140)          o 6.0 (+110)
Hungry Hippos (+120)                         u 6.0 (-130)

The pick: Zisser and Campbell will come into this matchup just two weeks after a tight matchup which saw Zisser come out on top in a hard fought shootout.  They were BTSH all-star game teammates just nine days ago and each will have a bonafide professional (Cheeky & Shelly) clearing the crease in front of them.  The difference may prove to be the injury report, where Sarah is still rehabbing from surgery and various wounds incurred putting Brian to sleep after that very same all-star game.  Take the Cheetahs and the under.


My Cup Size Is Stanley (+130)              o 6.0 (-110)
The Varsity Warriors (-150)                 u 6.0 (-110)

The pick: Cup Size opened as an early favorite but the line has shifted significantly due to the injury report where Cup Size will be missing D-Ro, Will Green and Tarzan while the Warriors will be without the services of ScottyK and Andrew.  Both benches will be short which could easily result in a shortage of defense, but could just as easily result in lethargic forechecking.  The lack of firepower on Team Cup Size this week will be tough to overcome, but the storyline to watch will be last year’s all-star goalie tandem facing off against each other in some Rehab on Rehab crime.  Take Probie to lead his Warriors to an opening night victory and the under.


Bombay’s A Sham (+150)          o 7.0 (-130)
Winter Is Coming (-170)           u 7.0 (+110)

The pick: The game with the highest over/under of the day sees Sully and his #1 overall pick Zac Ball Hogg facing off against the deadly tandem of Avery and Cherie up front.  Boatsex Brad and LJ will do their best to protect Dave GDR’s crease while Joe P will try to do the same for Zack.  Sully somehow has ended up with four goalies on his roster having also drafted two former college netminders (Becca and Cat) along with everyone’s favorite Jewish goalie (sorry Zisser), Eitan.  Unfortunately for him, league bylaws mandate that you can only have one of them in net at a time, and that player must be capable of registering for Olympics.  Take Team Winter (or Team Coming if you’re a sicko like that) and parlay it with the over for maximum sexiness, then bring that cash to Dorrian’s for alcohol and possibly actual sex.

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