Week 1 Box Scores (Summer 2022)

Julie’s Football Club vs MelRose Place

1st Period:
MRP (1-0) – Neil (1) (assisted by Pags) (3:46)
MRP (2-0) – Paul Chester (1) (assisted by ChooChoo) (7:29)
2nd Period:
JFC (1-2) – Steve Rys (1) (assisted by Julie) (2:50)
MRP (3-1) – Paul Chester (2) (assisted by Mel) (7:21)
MRP (4-1) – Tyler (1) (assisted by Amit) (12:52)
JFC (2-4) – George (1) (assisted by Alex B) (14:48)
3rd Period:
MRP (5-2) – Amit (1) (EN) (unassisted) (13:18)
JFC (3-5) – George (2) (assisted by Alex B) (13:56)

GAME NOTES: Week one kicked off and I think my post-draft assessment of this season possessing the most parity we’ve had in a while proved to be accurate. In a way, all the captains left the draft as winners. But in another, more accurate way, some captains won more than others. Onto the box scores…Neil, the first repeat scoring champion in league history last season, picked up right where he left off with tie dye’s first goal in franchise history to put them up 1-0 early in the first. The gameplay was even throughout but the incredibly named MelRose Place would never give that lead up, never let that lead down as they hung on for a 5-3 opening night win…Paul Chester recorded what I’m pretty sure was the first two goal game of his D5 career…MelRose’s chant of “Tie Dye til I die” was pretty inspired for a first game, gotta give em credit. Can’t wait for the shirt coloring/molly party that is sure to ensue in the coming weeks…George picked up two goals and could’ve had a 3rd if not for his massive windup. His beard easily makes him the early frontrunner for rookie of the year though and you can see on the video the exact moment when Julie falls in love with George as a teammate (strictly business).

3rd – Amit (1G, 1A)
2nd – George (2G)
1st – Paul Chester (2G)

My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Varsity Blues

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Westley (1) (unassisted) (9:12)
2nd Period:
SEX (2-0) – Westley (2) (assisted by Dave Liang) (3:14)
SEX (3-0) – Waldman (1) (assisted by Ellie) (4:00)
CUP (1-3) – Simon (1) (PP) (unassisted) (9:22)
SEX (4-1) – Dave (1) (unassisted) (2:08)
3rd Period:
SEX (5-1) – Dave (2) (assisted by Westley) (2:08)
SEX (6-1) – Dave (3) (assisted by Westley) (5:23)
CUP (2-6) – Jeff (1) (assisted by Simon) (6:18)
SEX (7-2) – Waldman (2) (assisted by Nestor) (7:53)
CUP (3-7) – Jeff (2) (assisted by Adam Herman) (14:10)
SEX (8-3) – Waldman (3) (assisted by Alex) (14:46)

GAME NOTES: This game was honestly tighter than the final score indicates, 1-0 through the first period. But everything turned after Wes and Waldman scored two goals in less than a minute to open up a 3 goal lead early in the game. Blue would pick up hat tricks from both Waldman and Dave, along with four points from Wes, to pick up a season opening 8-3 victory…honestly, maybe the best part of opening day was the stark contrast to end of last season in terms of everyone playing super clean and nobody complaining to refs. This often happens on opening day but seriously if we can we keep this energy going throughout the season I will get the league a keg as a token of my appreciation, at which point violence is sure to ironically break out once again.

3rd – Waldman (3G)
2nd – Dave Liang (3G, 1A)
1st – Westley (2G, 2A)

Hungry Hippos vs The Walleyes

1st Period:
WAL (1-0) – Kev (1) (assisted by Jess) (8:40)
2nd Period:
WAL (2-0) – Shirtless Rob “Glanzer Beater” Meehan (1) (assisted by Scott Metz) (4:32)
HIP (1-2) – Eric Higger (1) (unassisted) (12:30)
3rd Period:
HIP (2-2) – Hicks (1) (assisted by Braun) (10:40)
HIP (3-2) – Eric Higger (2) (assisted by Braun) (14:59)

GAME NOTES: Once upon a time, in our first league game post-covid and still the league’s only 5:30 PM game of all time, purple and yellow faced off in the Spring 2021 season opener which was tied in the final minute and seemingly headed to OT until purple scored with 13 seconds left to break some Hippo hearts and steal a victory. Just a little over a year later, the Hippos would return the favor as they completed a comeback from two goals down with a goal at the final buzzer to pick up a victory in a game they never led…early season trading paid early dividends for both yellow and red as Eric Higger scored the Hippos’ first goal and the game winner while the Magic Man picked up two for red as well…Jacob subbed in goal for purple and made a number of big saves in relief of his evil twin Jeff Green who you could tell me is anywhere on the planet right now and I would believe it…as is tradition, these two teams will meet once more this season on July 19. Fans and gambling addicts alike will be sure to keep that date circled on their calendar.

3rd – Kev (1G)
2nd – Braun (2A)
1st – Eric Higger (2G)

Red Rockets vs Varsity Blues

1st Period:
RKT (1-0) – Zack Liebovich (1) (assisted by Vanessa) (11:48)
2nd Period:
SEX (1-1) – Dave Liang (4) (assisted by Ellie) (1:29)
SEX (2-1) – Dave Liang (5) (assisted by Westley) (4:22)
RKT (2-2) – Magic Man (1) (assisted by Corey) (5:02)
3rd Period:
RKT (3-2) – Magic Man (2) (assisted by Vanessa) (0:49)
SEX (3-3) – Nestor (1) (assisted by Waldman) (1:32)
SEX (4-3) – Dave Liang (6) (assisted by Westley) (3:19)
RKT (4-4) – Zack Liebovich (2) (assisted by Vanessa) (5:03)
SEX (5-4) – Alex (1) (unassisted) (2:21)

GAME NOTES: A spirited final game of the evening as the upstart Red Rockets faced Varsity Blues (possible name change coming, TBD) in a tightly contested back-and-forth game that went to OT before blue pulled out their second win of the evening…Dave Liang picked up his second hat trick of the night and most likely will never again be drafted after 75 other players (seriously people, he’s been in the league for 4 season now and is an elite flipcup player, show him some respect)…as mentioned a few recaps ago, Magic Man was traded to red shortly before this game because I don’t think anyone besides Rockoff can get in touch with him. In fact I’ve been told that in 5 seasons on the Gremlins Rockoff RSVPed for him every time. If he and Lily ever dated I don’t think they would ever see each other which quite honestly might be a more successful formula than most relationships out there…during one of the stoppages Vanessa asked me who was her captain, I told her that her team had none and she replied “ok…I’m the captain.” Felt like that Captain Phillips Meme come to life…red remains the only team without a captain but the only team with a strictly front office executive in Sully. It really warms my cold black heart that the league has progressed to the point where certain franchises have defacto head coaches (green) and defacto front office GMs (red). I’ve been told a captain will be appointed later in the season and I for one sincerely hope it is Braun, even if he is on another team.

3rd – Magic Man (2G)
2nd – Vanessa (3A)
1st – Dave Liang (3G)

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