Week 1 Betting Lines (Summer 2022)

Julie’s Football Club (-150)
MelRose Place (+110)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

Notes:
Orange, as we documented just a few months ago, has been the most cursed franchise in the league. I have no idea what Jeff/Lee/Russo did to anger the hockey gods but no orange team has made a final four or even won a playoff game since their inaugural season in Fall 2018. Almost four years later, Julie will try to bring orange back to the semis with a roster that I really like, although I may be biased having drafted half of them myself. Their first game of the season will be against the tie-dye team, for now wearing standard shirts before having a tie dye party at some point this weekend at DRo’s place. I can only assume said party will involve molly which is not the name of someone on their team, unless we’re speaking metaphorically. Also DRo has apparently been injured for months so he’s out for the first few weeks along with a few other players while orange has 1st round pick George as a GTD themselves. Still, they have all sorts of Julie Katz favorites with Alex and Nate from Mega, Brad and then mostly a bunch of people I drafted and hope don’t make me look bad. In goal, Friedman is a GTD for orange and if he can’t go, Casca will likely be the sub of choice. First game of the season is always the toughest to handicap but as the line indicates, I’m expecting the Football Club to come out to a hot start and pick up a season opening W.

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-105)
Varsity Blues (-135)
Over 7.5 (-120)
Under 7.5 (-120)

Notes:
Ariel, Izzy, Austin Lyons, Chris and Sam (not that Sam) are out for blue while black will be missing Hilary, Will and Evan. Possibly others too idk. Eric should be in net for blue, Corey for black. Also Jenn will be coming in direct off a train from Philly and hopefully just in time for this one. Cup Size will have the return of McCauley, the debut of Simon (ROY dark horse) and the debut of a hilarious Yehuda/Adam Herman line. I suggested putting them together and expect their chemistry to be solid, but it should also be noted that last year’s top degen gambler Yehuda did bet on himself to outscore Herman again so unclear if he’s ever going to pass to him. Blue will have Waldman playing forward for the first time in D5 and Nestor hopefully on his best behavior. I really don’t know what to expect here; black will be somewhat short, blue will be extremely short and likely take one sub seeing as we also have the 9:30 game. I still think we’ll win.

Hungry Hippos (-130)
The Walleyes (-110)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

Notes:
One of the great rivalries in sports returns as yellow/purple renew their hostilities in the 8:30 game between the Hippos and the bizarrely named Walleyes. In the spring the season series was 1-1; the season before it was 2-1 for purple. No matter where the teams sit in the standings these games are always fun because neither captain wants to lose to the other and because players on the teams are often not sober. Jack did well in the draft picking up top female and male ROY candidates in Courtney and Louis along with Jeff Green in net, although Jeff will be replaced by his brother from another universe Jacob Green tonight. The Hippos have their classic build of Hicks and a linemate, Andrea on D and a top goalie in net. What may have flown under the radar is the Hippos executing the first trade of the season yesterday, sending Tim “Magic Man” Finnerty to the Rockets so he could reunite with his friend, linemate and the only person who can reach him, Rockoff, in exchange for WTP guy who everyone tells me is quite good Eric Higger. Eric will give the Hippos an element of speed on the 2nd line that they will need while Tom White mans the blueline after a breakout season where he was top 5 in defenseman scoring and Kevin Mahoney tries not to take 7 penalties, hopefully. Purple has the best 1-2 combo of women in the league as Annie absolutely demands that ladies night be involved in any team she’s on, but I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to get by what may be the strongest post-covid Hippos team. I’m sure Rich has some beefs with his draft, which he always does, but I think yellow will surprise some people this season. Look for Casca to come out strong after winning #1 goalie two seasons ago and just missing the repeat last season by a razor-thin margin and lead the Hippos to an opening night victory.

Red Rockets (-105)
Varsity Blues (-135)
Over 8.0 (-110)
Under 8.0 (-130)

Notes:
Red will be missing Scotty, Joe P, Nicole and possibly Corey who is a GTD with a mysterious 9:30 PM work meeting. What does this man do for a living? No idea but odds are it involves the sex trade. In any case, blue will be rocking the same short lineup from the 7:30 but also missing Waldman who had a kid and thus can’t hang anymore. The big wildcard for red tonight and throughout the season will be a rookie goalie who no one has seen play and who will make or break their season. If he turns out to be a draft steal ala Jeff Green in Summer 2019, it could vault them to the very top of the standings. If he is godawful, Sully will be happy that he’s getting the hell out of dodge. I predict he will be solid and that this will be a tight game as the red team looks like the exact annoying to play against type of team I’d expect Sully to draft and their acquisition of an extra 5th round pick has given them the depth that many teams lack this season. No bets for me in this one except perhaps a light sprinkle on the under.

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