Week 7 + 8 Box Scores (Spring 2021)

Sex Panthers vs Crimson Wave

1st Period:
WAV (1-0) – Meg (4) (assisted by Mike Wright) (11:34)
2nd Period:
WAV (2-0) – Mike Sanchick (2) (assisted by Sara Klein) (1:59)
WAV (3-0) – SBJ (2) (SH) (assisted by Meg) (7:45)
WAV (4-0) – Meg (5) (assisted by Goose) (12:48)
3rd Period:
WAV (5-0) – Adam Herman (1) (assisted by Sully) (9:28)
SEX (1-5) – Davis (2) (assisted by Rockoff) (12:59)

GAME NOTES: This was a brutal game to play and presumably to watch. For reasons I may never understand, nearly every single person on the blue team admitted to being viciously hungover for a 6:30 game with multiple people coming close to vomiting on the bench. I can’t blame them as I almost vomited when I watched the game replay…Crimson Wave entered the night with only one point on the season but they were ready to play here. After Zisser made some big saves early Meg scored on a broken play late in the 1st and the route was on…McQuade scored only the 2nd shorthanded goal of the season and only his 2nd of the year. With whispers of an early round bust following him around like he was Fall 2019 Braun, he stepped it up by doing what he does best: running fast, scoring goals and mauling several unsuspecting people…after Wave took a 5-0 lead late in the 3rd, the Panthers threw the kitchen sink at Zisser who made save after save in a bid to get the first D5 shutout of the season. Unfortunately he was foiled by Davis with just one second left, clearing the blue bench in celebration. This may have been the first 5-1 game in history where at the final buzzer the 1 celebrated way harder than the 5. Like 2016 Zisser at last call, we’ll take what we can get.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – SBJ (SHG)
2nd – Meg (2G, 1A)
1st – Zisser (1 GA)

Spicy Tuna Rolls vs The Goaldiggers

2nd Period:
TUN (1-0) – McCauley (2) (assisted by Annie) (5:56)
DIG (1-1) – Guido (8) (assisted by Nico) (7:27)
TUN (2-1) – McCauley (3) (assisted by Vanessa) (8:24)
TUN (3-1) – Riegler (2) (assisted by Mike T) (9:58)
DIG (2-3) – Guido (9) (unassisted) (11:11)
3rd Period:
DIG (3-3) – Dan T (1) (PP) (assisted by Nico) (0:38)
DIG (4-3) – Danilo (1) (assisted by Tarnow) (6:41)
TUN (4-4) – Annie (2) (assisted by Jack) (7:20)
TUN (5-4) – Jack (5) (assisted by Annie) (8:15)

GAME NOTES: A scoreless first period led way to a bonanza in the 2nd and 3rd. Très désolé for under bettors all over the globe…Dan T scored his first career D5 goal on the powerplay early in the 3rd to tie the game at 3, where it stayed until Danilo put the Goaldiggers ahead 4-3 midway through the 3rd. Purple would have the last laugh, however, with two goals in less than a minute to put themselves up 5-4, a lead which they would just barely hang onto for the victory…Waldman subbed in net for the Tunas while Shelly subbed for the Goaldiggers. This was the game where Shelly was required to play as a man unless the goalie was pulled in the final minute at which point she was a woman again. This agreement was made prior to the game and wouldn’t you know it, that exact scenario came up…McCauley and Guido put up two goals each in the first, with Nico putting up two assists and Jack putting up one and one. Lots of multipoint outings in this one but first star goes to Annie with a goal and two assists, including points on each of the final two goals, to move her into 2nd place on the ladies scoring list for the season. Ladies night indeed.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – McCauley (2G)
2nd – Jack (GWG, 1A)
1st – Annie (1G, 2A)

Hungry Hippos vs Crimson Wave

1st Period:
WAV (1-0) – Mike Wright (1) (assisted by SBJ) (4:44)
WAV (2-0) – Andrea (1) (assisted by SBJ) (7:29)
2nd Period:
WAV (3-0) – Meg (6) (unassisted) (4:17)
WAV (4-0) – SBJ (3) (assisted by Kevin) (11:21)
3rd Period:
HIP (1-4) – Josh (2) (assisted by Braun) (6:29)

GAME NOTES: The Wave continued to roll in this game like many pundits felt they would before the season. Whether due to puck luck, attendance, less hungover Zisser, whatever the root cause was, this looked like a much different team than they had for most of the season as they won their own personal Fireball Bowl, beating both blue and yellow by combined scores of 9-2…Mike Wright, unoffical holder of the tallest man in the league title, scored his first of the season early in the 1st period before Andrea scored her first of the season as well. Both were assisted by SBJ who I never expected would be such an unselfish lover…but of course the unselfishness could only last so long as he picked up a goal of his own in the 3rd. An impressive three point performance from the guy who must’ve told me over eight times on draft night that I’d regret picking Austin over him…Josh scored his 2nd of the season and used this fact to lobby for rookie of the year at the 21 Cup extravaganza that followed the games. While he’s certainly under consideration, the entire race basically hinges on whether Mike T can be considered a rookie or not. On the one hand, he’s never registered and officially been drafted onto a team, which is the standard criteria (Spring 2020 doesn’t count). On the other hand, he enters the season with 15 games played and 20 goals scored as a free agent, the latter being more than most people will score in their careers and enough to put him 6th in all time goals entering this season (because he was an FA, those do not count on all-time stats). I mean there was a season where he finished 2nd in scoring as a free agent. Luckily Derek saved the league from some difficult decisions because I’m not sure what we would have done if a free agent actually won the scoring title…this was the Wave’s second win on the night after starting the season with four losses. After a light start, red is suddenly rocking a surprisingly heavy flow.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Andrea (GWG)
2nd – Zisser (1 GA)
1st – SBJ (1G, 2A)

My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Joe P (1) (assisted by Pags) (9:40)
CUP (1-1) – Neil (9) (assisted by Tash) (10:42)
GSH (2-1) – Joe P (2) (unassisted) (11:30)
2nd Period:
CUP (2-2) – Neil (10) (assisted by Brad) (3:39)
CUP (3-2) – Lee (1) (assisted by Neil) (4:42)
GSH (3-3) – Joe P (3) (unassisted) (5:40)
GSH (4-3) – Nephew Glanzer (1) (unassisted) (11:00)
GSH (5-3) – Sully (1) (assisted by McCauley) (12:20)
3rd Period:
GSH (6-3) – McCauley (1) (assisted by Sully) (5:31)
CUP (4-6) – Amit (2) (unassisted) (8:23)
GSH (7-4) – Pags (3) (EN) (unassisted) (12:31)

GAME NOTES: This game was played with a barrage of subs as both teams were extremely short on a Friday night. Sully, McCauley and Dave GDR played for green while Brad, Amit, Jason, Lee and Casca filled in for black…this was an absolutely wild game from the start as by the midway point of the contest we had two goals from Neil, one from Lee making a surprise alumni appearance and Joe P, with 0 goals entering play, notching an early game hat trick. His 3rd goal tied the game at three and from there green got goals from Nephew Glanzer (his first), free agent Sully and free agent McCauley. Actual free agent Amit put black within two with 4:37 left but that was as close as they would come. Pags had the best empty netter you’ll see this side of Ryan Kesler and even without Angry Probert, the Hooligans put up seven goals for the win…Neil’s three points put him at the top of the scoring list with just three weeks left to play. One would have to imagine he’s not lasting til the 4th round next season…if someone wanted to take a bet before the game that there would be over 10.5 goals and Lee would have more points than Cherie and Ariel combined I would’ve given them 500 to 1 odds and the league sportsbook would probably be closed forever.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Free Agent Sully (1G, 1A)
2nd – Neil (2G, 1A)
1st – Joe P (3G)

The Goaldiggers vs My Cup Size Is Stanley

1st Period:
DIG (1-0) – Danilo (2) (assisted by Tarnow) (1:30)
CUP (1-1) – Ramy (2) (unassisted) (7:42)
DIG (2-1) – Tarnow (2) (unassisted) (11:05)
DIG (3-1) – Dan T (2) (assisted by Nikki) (11:51)
2nd Period:
CUP (2-3) – Joe (4) (assisted by Neil) (8:19)
CUP (3-3) – Ramy (3) (assisted by Joel) (9:21)
DIG (4-3) – Scott Metz (1) (assisted by Paul Chester) (12:00)
3rd Period:
DIG (5-3) – Nate (1) (assisted by Evan) (8:12)

GAME NOTES: The opening game of week pitted two of the preseason favorites. Unfortunately for Jenn, Courtney would be a last minute scratch forcing her to enlist sub services from two ladies who already had doubleheaders scheduled for later in the evening…Danilo got the scoring started with a sweet backhander with his back kind of turned to the net. He’s now only two points off the Leetch award with two games left to play…Ramy scored a controversial goal when he scored directly off the faceoff. White protested that the ball did not hit the ground but referee Jack saw it differently and after some deliberation, the goal stood…with the game tied 3-3 later in the 2nd Scott Metz buried a clapper from just inside center to give the Goaldiggers the lead. The windup was slightly high, the followthrough for sure high, but both were close enough that the refs gave him the benefit of the doubt and the shot was just tremendous. Nate added one with 4:48 left and white held on for a much needed 5-3 victory. Still don’t think they’re beating anyone at the Flip Cup or 21 Cup table though.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Ramy (2G)
2nd – Scott Metz (GWG)
1st – Tarnow (1G, 1A)

Crimson Wave vs Sex Panthers

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – AFrey (3) (unassisted) (0:28)
SEX (2-0) – Rockoff (3) (assisted by DRo) (10:48)
WAV (1-2) – Sanchick (3) (assisted by Sully) (12:54)
2nd Period:
WAV (2-2) – Meg (7) (assisted by SBJ) (2:58)
WAV (3-2) – Sanchick (4) (unassisted) 9:28)
3rd Period:
WAV (4-2) – Stabel (1) (assisted by Sully) (11:13)
WAV (5-2) – Sully (2) (EN) (assisted by Adam Herman) (12:59)

GAME NOTES: A week after the Wave won two games by a score of 9-2 to rocket from 7th to 4th in the standings, the ascent/reign of terror continued on Tuesday…I found some mystery preworkout in the scorers box five minutes before puck drop, asked if anyone knew whose it was a few times and got no response. Ripped a bunch, went out there and scored 28 seconds in. Highly recommend because it was mostly downhill from there…after losing coverage on the first goal Sanchick got his revenge with two goals, including the game winner, to lead a five goal Wave comeback…Meg picked up her 7th goal of the season when a pass of hers deflected off Davis’ stick and through Ryan’s legs to tie the game. After starting the season on defense with no points she has a five point lead on the ladies’ scoring race and is probably never playing D in this league again…another game between these teams, another goal in the final seconds. This time it was Sully burying an empty netter with time expiring. He half-apologized but in a league that offers prop lines on stats, it’s a totally fair move…SBJ got quite upset early in the 2nd when he felt he was hooked on a partial break. It was close but the refs and fans both clearly disagreed…this was the Wave’s third win in a row after starting the season with four losses. Spoiler alert: there was another one after this too. Flow approaching previously unheard of levels. Hide yo’ kids.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Zisser (2 GA)
2nd – Meg (1G)
1st – Sanchick (2G)

Spicy Tuna Rolls vs Hungry Hippos

1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Ben McCloskey (1) (assisted by Lewis) (6:58)
2nd Period:
TUN (1-1) – Jack (6) (assisted by Kev) (0:10)
TUN (2-1) – Jack (7) (assisted by Riegler) 1:12)
TUN (3-1) – McCauley (4) (assisted by Mike T) (5:46)
TUN (4-1) – Mike T (6) (assisted by Sena) (12:35)

GAME NOTES: There was all sorts of trash talk before this one, from the early season demands by both captains to forego the standard 3 points per game and instead just give out 9 points to the victor of the season series to the more recent early morning death threats coming from Hicks. And early on it looked like the Hippos would execute their gameplan to perfection as they controlled most of the 1st and led 1-0 going into the intermission…however, some things are bigger than hockey and at the intermission Jack’s father tuned into the livestream and wished him luck. This was relayed to Jack and he immediately scored 10 seconds into the period and then again just a minute later to completely change the complexion of the game. The Tunas would add two more goals in the 2nd period before sitting on the lead through a relentless yellow press late in the game. A few missed opportunities for yellow and a few great defensive plays by purple later and, unlike in the animal kingdom, the Tunas would reign supreme over the Hippos in this one…Mike T, preseason favorite for the scoring title, picked up his 10th point of the season. He will probably need at least six in his final two games to have a realistic shot at the scoring title. Won’t be easy but it’s certainly feasible for the first guy selected in this year’s draft (second if you count Probert being forced to select himself)…it really cannot be overstated how big this game was for the Tunas and for the McGinty family. Purple retains their hold on 1st and in my estimation now has about a 96% chance of securing a top two seed and consequent bye directy into the final four, while Jack has proven himself to be a great son. In a league that routinely speculates on sex/drug habits of members and openly roasts bad plays and gambling losses, this was a truly heartwarming moment.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Jack’s Dad (INSPIRATION)
2nd – Mike T (1G, 1A)
1st – Jack (2G)

Green Street Hooligans vs Sex Panthers

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Pags (4) (assisted by Mikey) (12:40)
2nd Period:
SEX (1-1) – Rockoff (4) (assisted by Kelsey) (0:23)
GSH (2-1) – Austin Lyons (3) (assisted by Mikey) (2:42)
SEX (2-2) – AFrey (4) (assisted by Rockoff) (7:58)
3rd Period:
SEX (3-2) – Conor (2) (assisted by AK) (3:23)

GAME NOTES: A week one rematch between two evenly matched squads ended once again with a Panthers comeback and 3-2 win…the first period featured chances for both sides but remained scoreless due to the heroics of Ryan and Corey. However in the waning seconds of the 1st period Pags buried the rebound of a shot by Mikey to put green up 1-0 going into the break…the lead wouldn’t last long as just 23 seconds into the 2nd Rockoff tied it up. Austin Lyons put green up just two minutes later…with the score tied at 2 early in the 3rd Conor scored on a one timer assisted by AK. Mr King then had a chance to put blue up two, and almost definitely did bury his attempt but it went in and out of the net so quickly the refs didn’t call it a goal. If you watch the replay, the slow trajectory of the ball dribbling on the ground coupled with Corey’s body language not being that of a man who thinks he just made a save makes a strong case for that having been a goal…green had all sorts of chances late but the defense blocked a lot of shots and whatever they let through, Waldman was there to stop…this was the first game in league history where concussion protocol was utilized and a player was removed from the game due to a suspected head injury…both Probert and Neil need just 3 goals to set the all time record for goals in a single season. It should be noted however that Probert set that record with 12 goals in just 5 games in our inaugural Summer 2018 season when a couple of the teams were really bad (Jeff tied it the following season)…with the win the Sex Panthers maintain their hold on 2nd place as they host the Spicy Tuna Rolls in the late game Tuesday night with a chance to avenge an early season ass-kicking. No one on blue is allowed to go to AC within 24 hours of puck drop.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Mikey (2A)
2nd – Waldman (2 GA)
1st – Rockoff (1G, 1A)

The Goaldiggers vs Crimson Wave

1st Period:
DIG (1-0) – Danilo (3) (assisted by Brett) (6:17)
WAV (1-1) – SBJ (4) (assisted by Meg) (9:57)
2nd Period:
WAV (2-1) – Stabel (2) (assisted by Russo) (4:51)
WAV (3-1) – Stabel (3) (assisted by Russo) 7:01)
3rd Period:
WAV (4-1) – Russo (1) (assisted by SBJ) (9:26)
WAV (5-1) – Sully (3) (assisted by Meg) (11:43)

GAME NOTES: The final game of the evening pitted the two teams involved in the groundbreaking Herman/Chester trade, both of whom had already won earlier in the night…Danilo put the Diggers ahead midway through the first but just a few minutes later, SBJ came through with his 4th on the year. After a slow start to the season he’s all the way up to 7th on the scoring list this season and up to 3rd in all time points…Stabel put up two goals in the 2nd period, both assisted by sub Russo. Russo would add a goal late in the 3rd to pick up 1st star honors and make Tarnow really regret OKing him for this game…it’s an incredible phenomenon how people subbing in as FAs score far more points on average than they do for their regular teams. People just seem to play looser, probably pay less attention to defense and end up scoring a ton of points when subbing. This phenomenon was first observed when Rostered Carlin was moonlighting as Free Agent Carlin, sometimes playing all four games in a given night and usually scoring more as a sub than for her actual team. Maybe one day we’ll do a statistical analysis of FA points vs regular points by rostered players, but that day is going to require a lot more weed than we currently have…Meg needs 3 points in her final two games to set the all-time ladies single season scoring record…with the win the Wave move all the way up to 3rd place on the season, just four days after they sat in last place with one point. They will be the first team to finish their season on Tuesday night (god willing) as they face the Hooligans and this very same Goaldiggers squad in the 6:30 and 8:20 games. Roll Wave.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Zisser (2 GA)
2nd – Meg (1G)
1st – Sanchick (2G)

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