Actual Week 4 Betting Lines (Summer 2022)

I would’ve rather seen Means To An End (only like two people will get that and that’s fine)

The Goaldiggers (-120)
SexAzul Tension (-120)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

Notes: I can’t believe that Seinfeld image was just sitting in the 2019 archives. No doubt it was used during a stretch of games as frustrating as this most recent one although tbh nothing really compares. We haven’t played league games since JUNE, two and a half weeks, while I personally haven’t played D5 hockey in 3 weeks and even that game was stopped with 5 seconds left. Just a brutal stretch but hopefully we’re coming out of it now and can get through a 5 game schedule tonight starting with this one. Both teams will be missing players as per usual on a Friday night but Guido, Tarnow, Meg and Abby will all be in for white (they’ll def need a few subs though) while blue will be rocking a solid lineup except for Austin Lyons, Sam Gelman (still injured), Mike Schwartz (Dead & Co concert), Waldman (hes a doctor so he’s in the Hamptons) and Izzy is a GTD. Fair warning; betting lines tonight will feature a ton of tossups because I have close to no sample size on any of these teams, have borderline forgotten how half of them play and have no idea what a bunch of their lineups will look like. Wooooooo Fridays we are back. Despite the presence of two great goalies and some sexy defensemen for blue I’d prob take the over.

The Walleyes (-120)
MelRose Place (-120)
Over 7.5 (-110)
Under 7.5 (-130)

Notes: Jack, Kev, Louis, Elliot and Scott Collins are all out for purple while the tie dye team has like 5 people with everyone else seemingly out of town. It’ll be two short brunettes in helmets (Mel & Tash) plus Paul Chester, two rookie dark horses and a bunch of subs. The subs should be solid with Ellie’s brother, Chris Daly, Mike Sliwka and maybe a couple others filling in. We’ve got a strong ladies night situation on both sides as per Annie’s demands, two great goalies and a relatively even forward group. Despite this absurdly random lineup I actually think this game is going to be a total tossup. My lean would be towards the under and I would consider betting an OT line if one was made available for this game, which it won’t be. Sorry James.

Red Rockets (-120)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Over 8.5 (-115)
Under 8.5 (-125)

Notes: A rematch from one of the most exciting games of the season thus far as red jumped out to a massive lead despite a bizarre mid-game injury to their goalie, only for green to storm back on the strength of a Sam hat trick. They called a timeout late, drew up a play and actually got the exact look they wanted with Sam winning the draw clean to Probert, only for the shot to be stopped by Casca. Red hung on for a win but they’ll have their hands full tonight as Sam and Probie will be joined by Meg for one of the elite top 3 units in league history here and my going away present to her along with some drugs (probably). Red had an interim GM draft the team but unlike last year’s Kraken, they now have a full-time captain as Spring 2021’s rookie of the year Vanessa has stepped in and taken command of the franchise. They’ll have most of their players in tonight and with Jeff Green filling in in net, this game like the two before it is a total toss-up. The Hooligans obviously have insane firepower but will have a lot of trouble with the Rockets’ speed and forecheck. Meg is obviously excited to get some extra hockey in and for the opportunity to get benched by Rich one last time before she moves to Colorado, but I think red may have too much depth and speed. Another super tight matchup but I’m giving the slight edge to the Rockets.

My Cup Size Is Stanley (+130)
Pink Lemonade (-170)
Over 8.5 (-120)
Under 8.5 (-120)

Notes: Jenn and Hilary are out for black leaving just Amanda and Emily Barbour to hold down the fort for the only team with four ladies this season. Otherwise they should have most of their guys in and they’ll be looking for their first victory of the season after being outscored 14-6 in their first two games. Pink, on the other hand, is just looking to finally complete their first game of the season. In a feat that I pray is never matched, the season started over a month ago and they have yet to play a full game. Most of the lineup is in minus Avery; it’ll be Cherie and Jess rotating for the ladies, Jacob in net and a bunch of scrappy dudes for pink trying to get them their first victory of the season. Jason, Jeff, McCauley and Simon won’t make it easy, but I think they’ll get it here. Pink to pick up their first W of the season. You’re on your own with the total which could be 4 goals and could also be 11. Who the hell knows.

Green Street Hooligans (-135)
Pink Lemonade (-105)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

Notes: Our first ever Friday night 10:30 game sees two teams wrap up the back-end of their doubleheaders. Green will have Amanda subbing in this one while pink will have a random girl sub TBD. Some people may leave before the 10:30 although prob not as many as on a school night. Tough game to handicap but assuming Probie/Sam stick around and Avery doesn’t miraculously show up for this game, I’m giving green the edge and thinking they’ll prob pick up their first W of the season. Then afterwards, assuming we actually wrap up all these games and don’t get a crazy sudden rainout as has been known to happen, maybe we’ll shotgun a few whiteclaws in the stands. See ya tonight.

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