Week 5 Betting Lines (Summer 2022)

Another classic from the vault

Green Street Hooligans (+110)
Hungry Hippos (-155)
Over 6.5 (-135)
Under 6.5 (-105)

Notes: As you may have surmised from todays shocking email, I am sad. Sad that I have to redo another schedule and sad that I have to adjust all these totals and we are likely in for madness on o/u betting as we go back to 13 minute periods. For the game, green has the firepower to match with any team’s top line in league history but their depth has been an issue on defense as they’ve given up 19 goals in 3 games (please note that their 8-4 loss Friday was apparently actually 7-4 and has been adjusted accordingly on the schedule; if anyone can find the 8th goal on the video, send it over). The Hippos, meanwhile, have gotten out to a quick start and roster-wise look to be perhaps the strongest yellow team since covid. Sam may not like it but he also didn’t like my Friday prediction and max bet green vs red so we’re just playing with profit at this point. Bet on the Hippos to keep their momentum going, unless Braun or Cutler pull a last minute ghosting in which case bets are void.

Red Rockets (-220)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+150)

Over 7.5 (-130)
Under 7.5 (-110)

Notes: Two teams coming off big wins on Friday night look to build on that momentum. The Rockets will be getting GM Sully out of the rafters and onto the player’s bench while Louis will be filling in for Cup Size to help out a defense that’s, like the Hooligans, has given up 19 goals in 3 games. Red’s goalie is still on the IR so in his place will be the world famous Meguum which Jackuum fans will say is just a cheap ripoff although likely not to her face. This game has the potential to be closer than you’d expect with black looking much improved on Friday and red missing a couple pieces but I still think the speed, tenacity and depth of the rockets will probably be too much for Cup Size to handle. Red to pick up the W.

The Walleyes (+115)
Hungry Hippos (-160)

Over 6.0 (-105)
Under 6.0 (-135)

Notes: A classic matchup and the 2nd meeting of the season between these two teams. Both have had super low scoring games thus far, likely due to Jeff Green and Casca ranking among the top goalies so far this season, but yellow is undefeated so far and thus carries the edge in this one. It’s Jack’s first game back since a month sojourn in Minnesota so no telling what kind of gameshape he’s in; he did play for Vertz Sunday but all I saw was him launching a shot like 20 feet over the net. Then again, that is his move. It’s one of the league’s marquee rivalries and betting aficionados have had this one circled on their calendars since the schedule was released. I still can’t believe what a weird morning it’s been so just installing yellow as favorites again and moving on.

Julie’s Football Club (-160)
Pink Lemonade (+115)
Over 7.0 (-130)

Under 7.0 (-110)

Notes: Pink Lemonade has had a weird start to the season, playing 1st place blue super tough in a game that was postponed with 5 seconds left, then playing some truly odd defense on Friday night in losing two games 6-5 and 10-7. Tonight they’ll get all time league PPG leader Avery back and should be a threat to score their customary 5-7 goals although it won’t be easy against AJ “Save Of The Century” Frey in net. And pink needs to figure out what’s up in the D zone before I can comfortably pick them to win a game. I think they’ll an intriguing upset pick but I personally will just stick with the over in what should be a wide open contest.

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