Weeks 2-4 Box Scores (Summer 2022)

SexAzul Tension vs Pink Lemonade

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Austin Lyons (1) (assisted by Dave Liang) (1:31)
3rd Period:
LEM (1-1) – Maurice (1) (assisted by Mike Stern) (1:43)
LEM (2-1) – Amanda Fazio (1) (assisted by Justin McNeil) (6:00)
SEX (2-2) – Chris Daly (1) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (6:56)
SEX (3-2) – Alex (2) (unassisted) (10:12)

GAME NOTES: After comebacks by both teams, it started drizzling with around 2 minutes left. Pink got a faceoff deep in blue zone with 15 seconds left, Chris Daly won it into the corner and went to retrieve the ball. He then slipped because it was so damn wet and fell right on top of the ball. He didn’t move, thinking that the clock would just run out, but instead the refs called him for a delay of game penalty. As they made the call the rain went from steady falling to a straight up flash thunderstorm, causing the final five seconds to be postponed. Pink has informed me that they want those five seconds with a 6 on 4 and a faceoff deep in the zone so the game has not been posted to the standings and goalie records have not been updated. However, in the interest of prop bettors and me not forgetting this game when we finally finish it in a month, the player stats are official and have been added to stats. Also I had an allergic reaction to something and my eye swelled up like a grape. Weird night. Let’s move on.

Green Street Hooligans vs Red Rockets

1st Period:
RKT (1-0) – Zach Liebovich (3) (assisted by Brita) (3:28)
GSH (1-1) – Probie (1) (assisted by Russo) (6:50)
2nd Period:
RKT (2-1) – Brita (1) (assisted by Corey) (5:50)
RKT (3-1) – Corey (1) (assisted by James) (9:21)
RKT (4-1) – Totis (1) (unassisted) (12:40)
GSH (2-4) – Sam (1) (assisted by Amitai) (13:51)
3rd Period:
RKT (5-2) – Corey (2) (unassisted) (0:07)
GSH (3-5) – Sam (2) (assisted by Russo) (3:22)
GSH (4-5) – Sam (3) (assisted by Amitai) (7:36)

GAME NOTES: Early in this one red’s goalie James, playing his first career D5 game, suffered an injury on a random innocent looking play and had to be replaced by Casca. Despite a late flurry by the Hooligans which included a Sam hat trick, the Rockets would hold on for a 5-4 victory.

3rd – Brita (1G, 1A)
2nd – Sam (3G)
1st – Corey (2G, 1A)

Hungry Hippos vs Red Rockets

1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Annie (1) (assisted by Hicks) (4:10)
HIP (2-0) – Annie (2) (assisted by Hicks) (10:18)
RKT (1-2) – Zack Liebovich (4) (unassisted) (10:49)
2nd Period:
HIP (3-1) – Annie (3) (assisted by Chris) (9:31)
3rd Period:
RKT (2-3) – Brita (2) (assisted by Corey) (7:40)

GAME NOTES: The Rockets played their 2nd game of the back-to-back with Dave GDR stepping out from behind the camera and between the pipes for the first half of the game and Max taking over for the rest. Incredibly the red team who had just beaten a team with two of the top scorers in the league were no match for Annie alone as she scored a hat trick to singlehandedly take down the rockets.

3rd – Casca (2 GA)
2nd – Hicks (2A)
1st – Annie (3G)

Julie’s Football Club vs My Cup Size Is Stanley

1st Period:
JFC (1-0) – Jaimie (1) (assisted by Steve Rys) (6:00)
CUP (1-1) – Evan (1) (unassisted) (13:00)
JFC (2-1) – Brad (1) (unassisted) (14:24)
2nd Period:
JFC (3-1) – Steve Rys (2) (assisted by Alex Bing) (0:30)
JFC (4-1) – Kevin Aylesworth (2) (assisted by Jaimie) (8:00)
JFC (5-1) – George (3) (assisted by Alex Bing) (13:00)
3rd Period:
JFC (6-1) – Brad (2) (assisted by Kevin) (1:00)
CUP (2-6) – Jason (1) (assisted by Simon) (14:00)
CUP (3-6) – Simon (2) (assisted by Jeff) (15:00) (this is legit impossible)

GAME NOTES: Whoever was scorekeeping put round numbers for the times of every goal except for the 3rd one, for which they wrote “15:30” even though the periods are 15 minutes long. I went back and the actual time was 14:24 begging the questions of exactly what the scorers box was smoking while I was in Shelter Island…this game featured a showdown between two probable rookie of the year finalists in Simon of Cup Size and George of the Football Club. Simon had more points in this one but George had the last laugh with a 6-3 win and a hat trick in a later game. What a sexy man.

3rd – Simon (1G, 1A)
2nd – Steve Rys (1G, 1A)
1st – Brad (2G)

The Walleyes vs The Goaldiggers

1st Period:
WAL (1-0) – Chris Fullam (1) (assisted by Sean Kittridge) 11:07)
2nd Period:
DIG (1-1) – Max (1) (assisted by Josh Wagner) (10:09)
Shootout Winner By Joel or Jack

GAME NOTES: Who gets the shootout winner in a scenario where a shootout ends 2-0? Jack scored first so by the GWG definition of a shootout winner, he had the first tally in a 2-0 victory and gets it. On the other hand, Joel’s shootout attempt immediately ended the game in walkoff fashion and “seems” more like the shootout winner. Does anyone know how the hell this works?

3rd – Chris Fullam (1G)
2nd – Mike Sliwka (1 GA)
1st – Jeff Green (W, 1 GA)

The Goaldiggers vs Julie’s Football Club

1st Period:
DIG (1-0) – Guido (1) (assisted by Wagner) (13:00)
2nd Period:
JFC (1-1) – George (4) (assisted by Steve Rys) (3:34)
3rd Period:
JFC (2-1) – George (5) (assisted by Steve Rys) (12:40)
JFC (3-1) – George (6) (EN) (assisted by Brad) (14:13)

GAME NOTES: The 10:30 game was tied up with just 2:20 left when George potted his 2nd of the game to put the Football Club ahead, then added an empty netter to seal the game and secure his first career hat trick. Very cool, very legal.

3rd – Steve Rys (2A)
2nd – Jeff Green (W, 1 GA)
1st – George (3G)

The Goaldiggers vs SexAzul Tension

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Dave Liang (7) (assisted by Wes) (10:10)
SEX (2-0) – Ariel (1) (assisted by Meg Falling) (10:57)
2nd Period:
SEX (3-0) – Chris Daly (2) (assisted by Caitlin) (6:21)
SEX (4-0) – Dave Liang (8) (assisted by Joe Moskowitz) (8:34)
SEX (5-0) – Alex (3) (unassisted) (11:13)
3rd Period:
SEX (6-0) – Chris Daly (3) (assisted by Wes) (11:48)

GAME NOTES: Bunch of these goal times are likely fucked up as the scoresheet had the time on the clock and not the time into the period. It was my mistake for expecting Rich to do math…I could sit here and tell you how sexy the blue team looked, but I think you already knew that…the day before this game Meg fell over at the beach club for absolutely no reason while carrying a chicken caesar wrap. She followed this up by falling over for no reason on Ariel’s goal. Good stuff…Phelps, with a shutout pretty much sealed up and under 5 seconds left, decided to stickhandle the ball up and take a shot at the opposing net, which was not empty by the way. White stole the ball and he had to make a diving save with one second left to preserve the shutout. A true showman in net, it may not surprise you to learn that he’s an actor.

3rd – Chris Daly (2G)
2nd – Dave Liang (2G)
1st – Eric Phelps (W, SO)

The Walleyes vs MelRose Place

1st Period:
WAL (1-0) – Q Train (1) (unassisted) (2:30)
WAL (2-0) – Courtney (1) (unassisted) (13:33)
2nd Period:
WAL (3-0) – ScottyK (1) (unassisted) (5:03)
WAL (4-0) – Rob Meehan (2) (unassisted) (12:09)
3rd Period:
WAL (5-0) – Annie (1) (assisted by Courtney) (3:44)
WAL (6-0) – Rob Meehan (3) (assisted by Courtney) (5:42)
WAL (7-0) – Annie (2) (assisted by ScottyK) (9:29)

GAME NOTES: This game seemed like it was going to be a close one but the Walleyes scored a consistent 2-3 goals per period while Jeff Green continued his revenge tour with a shutout to give purple an impressive 7-0 win despite playing without Jack, Kev and like 5 other people who I forget because it’s currently 3 AM. Annie continues her torrid pace and is the current frontrunner for NFL Comeback Player of the Year.

3rd – Annie (2G)
2nd – Jeff Green (W, SO)
1st – Rob Meehan (2G)

Red Rockets vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Sam (4) (assisted by Alex Rickard) (5:03)
RKT (1-1) – Zach Liebovich (5) (assisted by Totis) (8:13)
RKT (2-1) – Corey (3) (assisted by Zach Liebovich) (14:39)
2nd Period:
RKT (3-1) – Alex Rockoff (1) (assisted by Magic Man) (3:16)
RKT (4-1) – ScottyK (1) (unassisted) (4:26)
RKT (5-1) – Alex Rockoff (2) (assisted by Totis) (12:57)
RKT (6-1) – Alex Rockoff (3) (assisted by Magic Man) (13:49)
3rd Period:
RKT (7-1) – Zach Liebovich (6) (assisted by Corey) (1:18)
GSH (2-7) – Russo (1) (assisted by Campbell) (4:00)
GSH (3-7) – Probie (2) (assisted by Sam) (6:57)
GSH (4-7) – Campbell (1) (unassisted) (7:42)

GAME NOTES: This game was originally listed as an 8-4 win for the Rockets because during the game one of their players told me I had missed a goal so I threw it up on the scoreboard and made a note to check the video. Looking at the video, I could only find 7 red goals so it appears they snaked green into thinking they were down by more than they actually were. Diabolical…this game went similar to these teams’ first meeting, with red jumping out to an early lead before green mounted a furious rally late in the 3rd. Last time they came within one; this time, falling behind by 6 was a tad too much as they could only come within 3 (which they actually thought was 4)…green got angry after this game which was evident in their performance just an hour later (spoiler alert!).

3rd – Totis (2A)
2nd – Zach Liebovich (2G, 1A)
1st – Rockoff (3G)

My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Pink Lemonade

1st Period:
LEM (1-0) – Andreas (1) (assisted by Danilo) (3:49)
CUP (1-1) – Jeff (1) (unassisted) (4:14)
LEM (2-1) – Justin McNeil (1) (unassisted) (5:00)
LEM (3-1) – Justin McNeil (2) (assisted by Meg) (5:56)
CUP (2-3) – Jeff (1) (PP) (assisted by Mike McCauley) (9:25)
2nd Period:
CUP (3-3) – Simon (3) (assisted by Jeff) (3:28)
LEM (4-3) – Noah (1) (assisted by Cherie) (4:10)
CUP (4-4) – Jason Campbell (2) (assisted by Will Gill) (6:20)
LEM (5-4) – Jess (1) (assisted by Danilo) (11:19)
CUP (5-5) – Yehuda (1) (assisted by Jason Campbell) (13:02)
CUP (6-5) – Jason Campbell (3) (unassisted) (14:53)

GAME NOTES: A ridiculous scoring game that somehow only ended up being the 3rd highest scoring game of the night. Pink Lemonade scored 5 goals in this one which ranked a lowly 7th out of 10 on the night. Kind of ridiculous…also weird; two periods of wild scoring then nothing in the 3rd. I thought this game was going to break the all-time record for goals scored, was slightly disappointed, only for the next game to handle that business. What a night. Except for the stabbings of course.

3rd – Justin McNeil (2G)
2nd – Jeff (2G, 1A)
1st – Jason Campbell (2G, 1A)

Green Street Hooligans vs Pink Lemonade

1st Period:
LEM (1-0) – Maurice (2) (assisted by Danilo) (1:30)
LEM (2-0) – Jake Kolenberg (1) (assisted by Noah) (3:01)
GSH (1-2) – Probie (3) (assisted by Sam) (5:02)
GSH (2-2) – Sam (5) (unassisted) (5:55)
GSH (3-2) – Probie (4) (assisted by Sam) (12:25)
2nd Period:
GSH (4-2) – Erik Javier (1) (assisted by Russo) (2:24)
LEM (3-4) – Matt Stabel (1) (unassisted) (4:15)
GSH (5-3) – Probie (5) (assisted by Sam) (6:50)
LEM (4-5) – Justin McNeil (3) (unassisted) (8:18)
GSH (6-4) – Campbell (2) (unassisted) (9:28)
GSH (7-4) – Sam (6) (assisted by Russo) (11:41)
LEM (5-7) – Justin McNeil (4) (assisted by Matt Stabel) (12:30)
3rd Period:
GSH (8-5) – Probie (6) (assisted by Sam) (0:31)
LEM (6-8) – Cherie (1) (assisted by Justin McNeil) (1:32)
GSH (9-6) – Sam (7) (unassisted) (???)
GSH (10-6) – Sam (8) (unassisted) (???)
LEM (7-10) – Danilo (1) (unassisted) (14:15)

GAME NOTES: Well, here it is…the highest scoring game of all time, and by a fairly big margin. With ridiculous stabbings necessitating games go back to 13 minutes, 17 goals is a record that may stand forever, or at least until AK gets back in net…the record was 13 goals and it lasted for several years, being matched like 6 different but with no game able to break over the hump. Last season there were multiple games that hit 14. And now, a new champion…I was running out to search for ice at the end of this game and with camera crew shortstaffed due to Sal oversleeping a 6:00 PM alarm (very impressive tbh), no footage exists of the last few goals. Very sad but I also have enough footage of D5 goals to last me several lifetimes…Sam tied a league record with 4 goals and 4 assists, the same exact statline Meg put up in her return to injury game last year for the legendary Sexy Ducks. Sam was obviously involved in that game as well and in fact, of the four games in which a team has scored 10 goals in a game, Sam has been on three of those teams.

3rd – Justin McNeil (2G, 1A)
2nd – Probie (4G)
1st – Sam (4G, 4A)

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