Layin’ Pipe vs SexyBack
2nd Period:
PIPE (1-0) – Andrew (11) (assisted by Ryan Levine) (4:46)
3rd Period:
PIPE (2-0) – Ryan Levine (9) (assisted by Alex C) (12:20)
GAME NOTES: Sonj notched a shutout in relief of Jeff Green who remains in Europe, probably in a van, almost definitely having sex. A 3-0 win moves them to 8-1 and basically clinches top two seeding and a bye directly to the final four. Andrew also clinched his 2nd straight Leetch award which brought a tear to my eye and would’ve warmed my heart if I had one.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Ryan Levine (1G, 1A)
2nd – Andrew (GWG)
1st – Sonj (W, SO)
Ninja Turtles vs My Cup Size Is Stanley
1st Period:
CUP (1-0) – Minsky (10) (unassisted) (2:55)
NJT (1-1) – Jordan (2) (assisted by Cherie) (3:58)
2nd Period:
NJT (2-1) – Luke (8) (assisted by Cherie) (5:57)
NJT (3-1) – Luke (9) (PP) (assisted by Caleb) (12:46)
3rd Period:
CUP (2-3) – Chris Fullam (5) (assisted by Jo Robin) (8:21)
GAME NOTES: A shorthanded Turtles squad surprisingly takes down a previously undefeated Cup Size and vaults out of the bottom four play-in bracket. Sick effort by Luke, Cherie, Jordan and the rest of the Turtles as they no doubt made their bald captain very proud.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Zisser (W, 2 GA)
2nd – Cherie (2A)
1st – Luke (2G)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs SexyBack
1st Period:
CUP (1-0) – Justin Mastrionni (1) (assisted by Jo Robin) (2:15)
SEX (1-1) – Chad (7) (assisted by Ari Fuchs) (6:59)
SEX (2-1) – Emily (1) (assisted by Oskar) (8:03)
SEX (3-1) – Yehuda (4) (assisted by Chad) (10:45)
2nd Period:
SEX (4-1) – Emily (2) (assisted by Dave Nahon) (1:55)
CUP (2-4) – Chris Fullam (6) (unassisted) (11:39)
SEX (5-2) – Yehuda (5) (unassisted) (13:48)
3rd Period:
CUP (3-5) – Minsky (11) (assisted by Mikey) (1:09)
SEX (6-3) – Yehuda (6) (assisted by Chad) (4:12)
CUP (4-6) – Jo Robin (9) (unassisted) (11:39)
CUP (5-6) – DRo (2) (assisted by Minsky) (12:02)
GAME NOTES: A wildly high scoring game considering the caliber of goalies involved (Sonj & AJ), but a shorthanded blue team pulls the upset and hands black their 2nd loss of the season and of the evening.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Chad (1G, 2A)
2nd – Emily (2G)
1st – Yehuda (3G)
UPS vs Ninja Turtles
1st Period:
NJT (1-0) – Caleb (3) (assisted by Luke) (1:25)
UPS (1-1) – Kev (3) (unassisted) (5:47)
NJT (2-1) – Jordan Dickson (3) (assisted by Matt Leeb) (7:55)
UPS (2-2) – Jack (6) (assisted by Hicks) (9:47)
NJT (3-2) – Luke (10) (unassisted) (13:45)
2nd Period:
UPS (3-3) – Jack (7) (unassisted) (0:51)
UPS (4-3) – Kev (4) (unassisted) (8:18)
NJT (4-4) – Luke (11) (unassisted) (9:55)
3rd Period:
NJT (5-4) – Luke (12) (unassisted) (1:37)
UPS (5-5) – Will Carter (6) (unassisted) (8:46)
Overtime:
UPS (6-5) – Jack (8) (assisted by Kev) (0:20)
GAME NOTES: Another crazy high scoring game in a season full of them that have increased the time I have to spend on these box scores approximately 69%. No team ever led by more than one and I’m sure if this game went on indefinitely it would remain tied to this day. But thankfully we have a sudden death OT system to get us out of the rink at a (somewhat) reasonable hour and Jack to bury OT goals. 6-5 UPS.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Kev (2G, 1A)
2nd – Luke (3G, 1A)
1st – Jack (3G)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs Ninja Turtles
1st Period:
NJT (1-0) – Luke (13) (unassisted by Goose) (2:55)
3rd Period:
NJT (2-0) – Caleb (5) (unassisted) (11:47)
GAME NOTES: These teams met for the 2nd time on the night in each team’s 3rd game of the evening and I kinda felt that would make each team play super chill. Unfortunately it was the exact opposite as this had a playoff-type feel and a physical element that stressed me out each time I saw DRo throwing his body like a lawn dart. In the end though Zisser was superb in delivering a shutout victory for green which temporarily moved them up to 4th place on the season.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Caleb (1G)
2nd – Luke (GWG)
1st – Zisser (W, SO)
UPS vs White Walkers
1st Period:
UPS (1-0) – Jack (9) (assisted by Hicks) (0:30)
UPS (2-0) – Will Carter (7) (unassisted) (11:47)
UPS (3-0) – Jack (10) (assisted by Kev) (12:30)
WWK (1-3) – Mike Stern (5) (unassisted) (11:09)
2nd Period:
UPS (4-1) – Hicks (5) (unassisted) (1:55)
3rd Period:
UPS (5-1) – Will Carter (8) (assisted by Chucky Perks) (0:29)
WWK (2-5) – Pelletier (1) (assisted by Mike Stern) (1:48)
WWK (3-5) – Danny Swersky (1) (unassisted) (4:02)
UPS (6-3) – Jack (11) (unassisted) (5:00)
UPS (7-3) – Will Carter (9) (assisted by Kev) (10:08)
GAME NOTES: Another offensive explosion by UPS, one of the highest game-total teams of all time (average total goals for + against on the season), as they put up 7 on the White Walkers who played well but finished the season as the first winless team of the modern era, their only standings point attained in their first game against a shorthanded blue. These teams would move on to play-ins where white would take on gold and brown would face tie-dye.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Kev (2A)
2nd – Will Carter (3G)
1st – Jack (3G)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs The Seahorses
1st Period:
SEA (1-0) – Danilo (1) (assisted by Caitlin) (6:39)
2nd Period:
SEA (2-0) – Caitlin (3) (assisted by Brendan) (9:16)
SEA (3-0) – James (8) (assisted by Russo) (13:45)
GAME NOTES: This game was incredibly tough to handicap as black was on paper better but lost three in a row while yellow was on a four game regulation win heater. In the end, it wasn’t particularly close as the Seahorses dominated possession throughout and led basically wire to wire. A 3-0 win that improbably jumped them from last in the Power Rankings a few weeks ago to avoiding the play-ins entirely. Black meanwhile goes into the playoffs on a four game losing skid and seeking answers from boobs. Hate to see it.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – James (1G)
2nd – Caitlin (1G, 1A)
1st – Jacob Green (W, SO)
Layin Pipe vs SexyBack
2nd Period:
SEX (1-0) – Chad (8) (assisted by Yehuda) (10:55)
3rd Period:
SEX (2-0) – KG (1) (EN) (assisted by Ari Fuchs) (13:18)
GAME NOTES: Two badly shorthanded teams on a Friday night. Classic. This game ended up being as even as could be but Chad buried a sweet one handed rebound goal late in the 2nd and KG scored a weird empty netter late to seal it. 2-0 blue.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – KG (1G)
2nd – Chad (GWG)
1st – Sonj (W, SO)
SexyBack vs Red Floyd
2nd Period:
SEX (1-0) – Oskar (1) (assisted by Yehuda) (13:47)
3rd Period:
RED (1-1) – KG (2) (unassisted) (7:01)
RED (2-1) – Tarnow (1) (assisted by Ray) (12:32)
SEX (2-2) – Ari Fuchs (1) (assisted by Alex) (13:07)
Overtime:
SEX (3-2) – Ari Fuchs (2) (assisted by Chad) (4:51)
GAME NOTES: The final game of the regular season was played 4v4 as red only had Nate, Tarnow and Sonj from their regular roster. And after Tarnow tied it with under a minute and a half left it seemed like they would take this one down. But Ari scored right off the timeout to force OT, then buried the OT winner for his first two goals of the season. 3-2 Sexy as blue clinches the 3 seed while red had already locked up the 1 and probably didn’t care about this one in the slightest.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Yehuda (1A)
2nd – KG (1G)
1st – Ari (2G)