I’m Schvitzing (+2.5 Goals) (+140)
Return Of The Clap (-2.5 Goals) (-200)
Over 6.5 Goals (-145)
Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: At full strength this would have been one hell of an opening round matchup. Clap, which traditionally is an offense-heavy team against Schvitz which was second only to Cup Size in average goals scored in their games this season at an astounding 8.9 (black was an absurd 10.7 per game). And yet, both teams are missing key players as Pete and Sanchick are out for Schvitzing (and Ryan’s not close to 100%, but playing) while Schvitz will have to make due without Neil, Ian, Jacob, Joe and possibly Reape. Voters don’t seem to care, or possibly didn’t know about these when they voted as the poll has Clap at -200, which is far less than what I have them at as multi-goal favorites.
There is still a path for Schvitz to win this game: use their speed to disrupt Clap at every turn, sneak a few by Jeff and play their best defense of the season. But I don’t know if I see it happening with so many absences. It’s been the season from hell for Clap but I think they have enough juice to advance here.
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (-120)
The MilkMob (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-135)
Under 6.5 Goals (-105)
Notes: This game could alternatively be titled “The Becca Bowl” because whomever wins the game gets her services for the rest of the playoffs as a playoff replacement for either Jess or Aliza. And honestly this game is pretty much as close as it gets with both teams separated in the standings by just one point and polling close to evenly split.
With both teams having pretty much all their guys in and one lady ironmanning the game, my prediction is that this game comes down to the goalies with each one playing against his team from last season. I would probably take the under, particularly with the game only being 11 minute periods, but both teams also have explosive offenses so who knows. Easily one of the most competitive games of the evening.
I’m Schvitzing (+3.0 Goals) (-120)
The Mighty Ducks (-3.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.0 Goals (-165)
Under 6.0 Goals (+120)
Return Of The Clap (+1.5 Goals) (+150)
The Mighty Ducks (-1.5 Goals) (-230)
Over 6.0 Goals (-130)
Under 6.0 Goals (-110)
Notes: If the matchup is Ducks vs Schvitz the total is almost impossible to predict as grey scores a ton but plays close to zero defense while the Ducks were the best defensive team in the league (or maybe it was just Sonj – you make the call). If it’s Clap vs Ducks I have much more faith it’ll be low scoring, especially with Ryan at less than 100% and multiple time Leetch award winner Andrew out of commission. What do the people think?
Ducks overwhelmingly favored by the public and it’s not tough to see why. In the most recent power rankings, they came in 3rd overall. Sonj seems to be feeling better after taking a couple weeks off and while the loss of Andrew certainly stings, getting Courtney as a playoff sub certainly helps a ton. Really this line comes down to how good you think Ryan feels. If he’s anywhere close to 100% he can singlehandedly lead Clap to victory. But if he’s compromised against the same team against whom he hurt his finger, it could be a long night in Clapland. Out of respect for the goalies, it’s the under for me.
PMD/MILK (EVEN)
Rediohead (-145)
Over 5.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 5.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: Campbell, as always, is the key to this game. No matter what kinds of issues red has offensively, defensively, structurally, really anywhere, he can steal a game. With red coming in fresh as the higher seed, they simply have to be favored in this one and the public seems to agree with that assessment.
If it’s Milk vs Red, I’m not sure if that trophy from the Cheeks bowl that Milk won earlier in the season is up for grabs but it really should be and we should expect fireworks from one of the league’s best rivalries. Purple vs red should see purple using their speed and physicality to try to wear down a red forward group that at times has looked shaky but also exploded for 18 goals in their last 2 games and 23 in their last 3. Was that a fluke or are they finally putting it all together? Tough to say but regardless of their opponent, as with the previous game, I have to show respect to the goalies and once again take the contrarian under despite this season being the highest scoring in many years.
CLAP/DUCK (-145)
Legally Blonde (EVEN)
Over 6.5 Goals (-145)
Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Every team on this side of the bracket is missing key players for this matchup. Clap and Ducks’ absences have been well documented but pink is in dire straits themselves with Craig and the Spector tandem confirmed out for this one. They still have a solid lineup with Emma leading the scoring charge, APK on the blueline and Sophia in net. How does the public see this one going?
If you’ve been in this league for any length of time you should know by now that the public pretty much always picks the higher seed and this matchup is no different. And yet, I disagree. Despite the fact that probably no one in the world had more faith in pink than me all season (except possibly Yehuda himself), a big part of that faith was based on Craig and the Spec Bros tandem. Of course, the aforementioned trio of APK, Emma and Soph also played a role in my confidence in this squad and GG was a revelation as a late round pick and one of the leading candidates for the Draft Sleeper Award, but against two teams with a wealth of playoff experience, I have to install pink as the slightest of underdogs here. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if they found a way to prevail, but my bracket has the Ducks coming out of this region for their second straight trip to the final four.
PMD/MILK/RED (EVEN)
Hockey at Glatt’s (-145)
Over 6.5 Goals (-200)
Under 6.5 Goals (+140)
Notes: The final game of the night and the stakes are high, both for the teams themselves and for Zuck who placed a $100 futures bet early in the season on Glatt’s to make the final four at +200. He rejected a cashout offer of $200 before the final week (asking for $230) and a cashout offer of $150 this week (asking for $175) so the wager remains open and depends on the results of this, the west coast game of Playoff Week 1. What does the public think? You should know by now.
Are they taking Glatt’s because they are impressed with their late season run of six straight wins or just because they’re the higher seed? Who knows, but it’s a solid pick. After being left for dead by many people early in the season the team gelled and the top guys showed up en route to piling on goals and climbing from 11th place to 4th. They have to be favored in this game, but by how much is questionable against what will either by a playoff tested and highly experienced red team with the best goalie in the game or a fast, aggressive and hungry purple/milk team. Against red I would have them as the slightest of underdogs. Against purple, a reasonable favorite. Against white, it’s pretty much a coin flip largely because Milk did beat this exact team at full strength in their last loss of the season. Playoffs are a different animal of course but the margin is razor thin in any of these scenarios. I also have to point out that, incredibly, in all of 2025 not a single 3 or 4 seed has made the final four despite presumably being fresh for their matchup at the end of Playoff Night One. Is that just a fluke or indicative of leaguewide trends? Definitely makes it tough to bet either way on this one. For me, despite the excellent goaltending options on both sides no matter the teams involved, it’s the over in what should be a fast paced and high scoring affair for the right to advance to the final four. Should be electric. See ya tonight.
BONUS LINES
More Points Tonight
Ryan (-160)
Hicks (+110)
More Points Tonight
Nick (-120)
Tarnow (-120)
More Points Tonight
Sarah + Courtney (-120)
Emma + Yehuda (-120)
More Points Tonight
Bramson + The Milkman (-130)
Glattman + Everett (-110)
Highest Scoring Game Tonight
Over 9.0 Goals (EVEN)
Under 9.0 Goals (-150)
Lowest Scoring Game Tonight
Over 3.0 Goals (-145)
Under 3.0 Goals (EVEN)
To Happen Tonight:
OT Game (-160)
Hat Trick (-135)
Shutout (EVEN)
Any Team To Win 3 Games (+150)
2+ Hat Tricks (+210)
OT Longer Than 10 Minutes (+225)
2+ OT Games (+245)
2+ Shutouts (+300)
OT Longer Than 20 Minutes (+450)