Before the season, five league insiders / degen gamblers bet on every single preseason opening prop line for $100 each. A look back on each line with comments:
District Five Championship
Untitled Sex Team (+180)
Return Of The Pie Pie (+250)
Return Of The Clap (+300)
The MilkMob (+400)
Rediohead (+400)
I’m Schvitzing (+500)
The Mighty Ducks (+500)
A$$ Fault Green (+500)
Legally Blonde (+600)
Hockey at Glatt’s (+650)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+650)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+1000)
YEHUDA: As usual, Blue is the favorite. I thought I’d get a bit of extra value by voting on Clap, but they had a very disappointg season and wont have peter and possibly Ryan for playoffs. +180 is about the odds I’d take for Blue right now so it was a well made line I suppose.
ALEX: The top two were easy imo and honestly the biggest surprise here was Clap missing the semis for the first time in franchise history. Still, considering they played much of the season without Ryan and the playoffs without Peter & Sanchick, coming a stone’s throw away from upsetting the Ducks for their second playoff win was an impressive performance. Their first playoff win being against a team suiting up Yehuda in net for half of it does take some of the luster off though.
District Five Championship
Untitled Sex Team, Return Of The Pie Pie or Return Of The Clap (-250)
Field (+160)
YEHUDA: While Blue and Orange are the two favorites, I still like the odds I got on the field. With Clap pretty much out of the running I’d give it about a 50-60% chance that Orange or Blue wins, so +160 odds feels good for that, and definitely better than -250
Team To Make Final Four
Both Untitled Sex Team and Return Of The Clap (-230)
The MilkMob (-185)
Rediohead (-145)
The Mighty Ducks (EVEN)
I’m Schvitzing (EVEN)
A$$ Fault Green (EVEN)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+200)
Hockey at Glatt’s (+200)
Legally Blonde (+325)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+360)
YEHUDA: This whole contest is about getting the best value possible, not about the most likely scenario. Pink at +325 feels amazing now, and was a great bet preseason when you factored that the Spectors were supposed to play the majority of the regular season (they only played 3 or 4 games to my chagrin).
ALEX: I also took pink at +325 in this pool…the value was simply too good to pass up and an insane final day vaulted them to a 4th place regular season finish. Great job all around.
Which Team Will Finish Higher In The Standings?
Legally Blonde (-145)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN)
YEHUDA: We beat them so bad I got punched in the handshake line and got skipped by two other people in the line. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3PmV8vxW5M
ALEX: In my opinion this was the easiest bet on the board and I wish more people besides just Jenn took me up on it.
Which Team Will Finish Higher In The Standings?
The Mighty Ducks (EVEN)
The MilkMob (-145)
YEHUDA: I was not nearly as high on white as most people were, and although this was close I don’t think it would’ve been if Andrew didn’t pull a Joe Burrow and get turf toe which is apparently a very real thing.
ALEX: I do think MilkMob underachieved to a certain extent this season due to a combination of poor attendance and injuries but there’s no doubt the Ducks were elite again, at least until they got hit with the injury bug and lost both of their top two picks for long stretches at the end of the season.
Which Team Will Finish Higher In The Standings?
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (-120)
Hockey at Glatt’s (-120)
YEHUDA: I knew brown had a chance to be good but they exceeded mine and everyone else’s expectations. I still wouldn’t want to play purple in playoffs but poor attendance as expected led to a poor season
ALEX: Mikey and I were the only ones to take brown in our prop pool and while purple certainly impressed with a couple playoff wins, in the end Glatt’s was simply the better squad, top to bottom. The Fitz mid-game injury certainly didn’t help though.
District Five Scoring Title
Jew (+190)
Goy (-320)
YEHUDA: At the moment of writing this I’m not sure if Everett is Jew or Goy, but I’d wager he’s a part of the tribe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h7hIvXv-cM
ALEX: Confirmed Jewish. Huge upset victory in this one for the chosen people. Love to see it.
Scoring Champion Total Points
Over 22.5 (-120)
Under 22.5 (-120)
YEHUDA: I think I had a feeling this would be a high scoring season (I bet the over on grand salami) but I bet poorly on this one. 3 different players eclipsed the 22.5 mark. Maybe i’ll join the club next year.
ALEX: Can I bet no on that right now?
Rookie Of The Year (all bets action)
Everett (-105)
Glattman (+130)
Field (+300)
YEHUDA: Has not been announced as I write this, fortunately I chose the same side as Frey so expect the chips to fall in our direction.
ALEX: Yehuda is correct on both counts here. First, this is pretty much always a stat based award so Everett is indeed the winner. And when in doubt, always bet with the house.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Hicks (-145)
James Pereira (EVEN)
YEHUDA: Unfortunately the tandem doesn’t count. James had the benefit of plenty of garbage time goals, but a win is a win.
ALEX: I underestimated how crazy high scoring Cup Size games would be. Big win by Pereira here.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Andrew (-120)
Alex (-120)
YEHUDA: It helped that Andrew got hurt but with Ducks being a defense first team this felt like a very safe bet.
ALEX: Feel better Andrew, the world needs our Mr Brightside karaoke to continue (possibly tonight).
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Pete (-120)
Jason Reape (-120)
YEHUDA: Both scored fewer points than I expected, but with Clap’s no good awful season there just werent enough points to be had for Doup.
ALEX: Pete spending all his time this szn in Europe and on Instagram and not enough time launching bombs from the point. Hate to see it.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Brooke (EVEN)
Sheila (-145)
YEHUDA: With Brooke on the higher scoring team I expected her to win this handily, but only 6 games played and maybe some bad puck luck and Sheila got there.
ALEX: Never underestimate Sheila.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Sarah Hoffman (-120)
Ryann Geldner (-120)
YEHUDA: Ryann’s style of play made me bet on her outscoring, but you get a lot more assists when you play the entire court and not just in the crease so Sarah wins this one.
ALEX: Very deep and profound analysis.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Tommy (-120)
Cardello (-120)
YEHUDA: Cardello/Tarnow lines went too hard and Clap’s disappointing season led to this being a blowout. I knew it could go either way but a 7 point difference is huge.
ALEX: Cardello has quietly turned from a solid 2nd pairing stay-at-home defenseman to a Chris Kreider-type power forward wing that can slot in your top six and contribute on both ends. This is going to be a staple of preseason lines every season moving forward.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Kevin Tuohy (EVEN)
The Milkman (-145)
YEHUDA: Tuohy had played defense in the past, but dominated at center this season with 17 points. Milkman lost his touch perhaps. Sour Milk.
ALEX: The Milkman will rise. 2026 is going to be a big year for dairy.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Tarnow/Satok Tandem (EVEN)
Stern/Jared Tandem (-145)
YEHUDA: Tarnow/Satok wins with 9 points in 9 games over Stern/Jared’s 8 points in 8 games. I’m happy enough with my pick, if they play an even number of games and Blue didn’t have such strong strength of schedule this could’ve gone the other way.
ALEX: Definitely could have gone either way but getting this tandem, which was one of the best on the board, in round 5 was insane.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Levine/Lucas Tandem (-120)
Hicks/James Tandem (-120)
YEHUDA: Unfortunately for Green Ryan got injured and so they only got 5 games out of this Tandem and the James Hicks tandem dominated more than I expected (although partially due to Blue’s strength of schedule).
ALEX: When you beat almost every team your face, your strength of schedule will naturally look weaker because you kept doling out losses to opponents on your schedule. Such is the nature of that particular metric. Still, the Levine injury was devastating to anyone who took the other end of this bet.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Alex/Pete Tandem (-130)
Nate/LaPorte Tandem (-110)
YEHUDA: Forwards score more than dmen, i porbably should’ve bet on the forwards. Live and learn.
ALEX: Pete and I will have to step it up next season. Less PIMs, more goals. Mark it down.
Who Will Finish Higher In The Scoring Race?
Jo Robin/Simon Tandem (-120)
Spector Bros Tandem (-120)
YEHUDA: If Spectors showed up to more games this could’ve gone either way, unfortunately Corey got deported and Chad was god knows where.
ALEX: Certainly true, but the line baked in the classic Spector flakiness and that’s why the Jo Robin tandem made history as the first tandem to ever go #1 overall.
Lower GAA (Regular Season Only; Must Start At Least Five Games)
Jeff Green (-120)
Sonj (-120)
YEHUDA: Sonj got the benefit of a defense first team while Jeff had no help.
ALEX: Some shade at Clap’s defense here but not entirely incorrect.
Lower GAA (Regular Season Only; Must Start At Least Five Games)
Carl (+110)
Max (-155)
YEHUDA: I bet on Max cause of strength of team, and while Brown way overperformed, Max had a career season.
ALEX: Max was a monster this season and honestly this entire year ever since he came to a tournament in Montreal and was the best goalie in the entire tourney. He also gives financial advice to aspiring rappers outside of Acme. True story.
Lower GAA (Regular Season Only; Must Start At Least Five Games)
Travis (+120)
Cam (-165)
YEHUDA: A race to the bottom, but Cam pulled away with it in the last couple games.
ALEX: Tough defensive metrics for both teams. Both will be looking to bounce back in 2026.
What # Will Be Greater?
The MilkMob Standings Points (-225)
Hicks + Fusco Goals (+150)
YEHUDA: These are my favorite bets to place, it ended up being a push and with that in mind I’m happy I took the longer odds. I figure white’s only winning if they get a good season from those two but I’m curious how often the goals from the top 2 players outpace the points for the team.
ALEX: The correlation on this one was tough to calculate but with two super offensive shooters like Hicks and Joe, it felt about even. Amazing this line pushed even in a down offensive year for Joe but as mentioned, this correlated with a drop in production for the mob as a whole.
What # Will Be Greater?
Black Team Season Points (+150)
James Pereira Points (-225)
YEHUDA: Now this one was an easier one with James more than doubling his teams points.
ALEX: The second easiest line on the entire board. Should have been the foundational building block of everyone’s futures parlays.
How Many Games Will Go To OT? (Regular Season Only)
Over 7.5 (-145)
Under 7.5 (EVEN)
YEHUDA: 10 total. I have no insight on this one so it was just a coinflip for me.
ALEX: This one partially comes down to bounces but also can be seen as an indication of the overall parity of the season, and the introduction of the tandems I think raised parity tremendously. 10 OT games is one of our highest of all time.
Grand Salami (Total Goals For The Season; Regular Season Only)
Over 399.5 (-120)
Under 399.5 (-120)
YEHUDA: Poorer goaltending this season in addition to tandems providing more scoring led to an astonishing 474 goals on the season. Will be interesting to see if this trend continues or if this was a one off.
ALEX: I can’t even describe how crazy the rise in goal scoring was this season. Just a few months after Hicks asked me if we were in the dead puck era of D5, we are now actually in one of the highest scoring eras we’ve ever had. Incredible.
When Will The Championship Be Played?
October 14 (-130)
October 21 (EVEN)
Any Other Date (+300)
YEHUDA: No rain in the forecast for either day of playoffs, we were blessed a bit with rain this season. If I realized I placed this bet maybe I would have told my Jewish comrades to make it rain a couple extra Tuesdays
ALEX: Unless there is further rain this afternoon or I show up at the rink and find someone has Diddy oiled it up like last year, we are on. See ya tonight.