T1) Great Sexpectations
Average Rank: 1.60
Previous Rank: 1 (unchanged)
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 3
Standard Deviation: 0.89
1st Place Votes: 3 of 5
Comments: Blue heads into the playoffs with the #1 seed for what is surprisingly the first time since the Spring 2024 championship campaign, which itself was their 5th President’s Trophy in 6 seasons. Although some of the games were closer than expected, the franchise’s last playoff loss was almost a full year ago. With elite goaltending and defense, elite value from their tandems and a team packed with D5 legends, a 3rd straight cup would cap off a truly electric 2025.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Annoyingly well built team as usual though part of their success is due to their bottom guy picks barely making any games. I guess Cardello scared them off.“
“If they really win their 3rd in a row I think some people are going to have nervous breakdowns.”(editor’s note: already happening)
T1) Return Of The Pie Pie
Average Rank: 1.60
Previous Rank: 2 (up 1)
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 2
Standard Deviation: 0.55
1st Place Votes: 2 of 5
Comments: We have a tie for the top spot for the first time all season as orange finishes in 2nd place and clinches their 3rd straight final four appearance in just three seasons as a franchise. Max is having a career season with a sub 2.00 GAA while the defense was tops in the league this season with only 24 goals allowed in the highest scoring season in years. Now that Jo Robin has been upgrade from questionable to probable for the playoff run, Pie Pie will (rightfully) be a popular pick for the championship.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Been high on them all season. Their top line is outstanding, and somehow got value out of almost every late pick. With a bye to the top 4, as long as Max plays how he normally does in playoffs, they’re right at the top with blue as favorites.“
“If Jo Robin doesn’t have to play goalie this year they have a real shot to win.”
3) The Mighty Ducks
Average Rank: 3.80
Previous Rank: 3 (unchanged)
Highest Rank: 3
Lowest Rank: 6
Standard Deviation: 1.30
Comments: The Ducks suffered some brutal end of season injury luck but still end up getting ranked #3. Is it just respect for the franchise or no one below them really distinguishing themselves in the season’s final weeks? Not entirely sure, especially since Glatt’s finished on a six game win streak, but clearly rankers believe that the combination of team depth and speed with Sonj in net makes them a legit contender. I think they’re right.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“My dark horse pick. If Andrew and Sonj are back by next week this team has a real shot to win. Don’t forget they beat a rested fully loaded blue and pink team. Their only losses have been when they were shorthanded. They’re also undefeated when Nate Lerner plays for them and there’s a decent shot he’s available on championship day.”
“Never thought Andrew and Joe Burrow had much in common but turf toe injuries are going to sink both of their teams.”
4) Rediohead
Average Rank: 4.80
Previous Rank: 6 (up 2)
Highest Rank: 3
Lowest Rank: 6
Standard Deviation: 1.30
Comments: As always with red, it all comes down to Campbell. If he plays the way he did the first few weeks of the season when he was coming off an insane European bender and looked like he might still be drunk for some of the games, they’re in big trouble. If he plays the way he did in the Spring when he went 8-0 with 4 shutouts, that alone is enough to beat anyone. Considering what I saw from him in the season’s final weeks, this is a team no one should be sleeping on. Especially with Tarnow shooting for the first time in his career.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Obviously this team is great, but they have an obnoxiously difficult path to the final 4 and got screwed over by Milkmob losing like a bunch of lactose intolerant losers. But with Campbell in net this team, Tarnow now scoring goals, and the Nate Lerner system this team always has a shot.”
“Campbell.”
5) Hockey at Glatt’s
Average Rank: 5.00
Previous Rank: 11 (up 6)
Highest Rank: 2
Lowest Rank: 8
Standard Deviation: 2.24
Comments: My, how things have changed. This team was ranked 11th in both previous editions of the power ranks and got shutout in both of their first two games. Then their top players started showing up, the schedule opened up and they scored 42 goals in their final 5 games en route to the 2nd highest goal total in the league. Yes, they did beat up on some shorthanded teams on weekend nights when they had a full roster but that happens every season and let me just say they left no doubt in those games how good they could be. Questions remain about their depth and experience but they’ve already proved the doubters wrong and the talent is certainly there for a deep run.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Yes this team made everyone who doubted them look foolish by winning 6 games in a row, but 5 of those games were against heavily shorthanded opponents. If they have a short bench and their top players get lots of ice time they are legit contenders, but if they have a full bench as often happens during playoffs they’re in trouble.“
“Does this team have any players outside of Zuck and his two friends?”
6) Legally Blonde
Average Rank: 5.80
Previous Rank: 8 (up 2)
Highest Rank: 4
Lowest Rank: 7
Standard Deviation: 1.30
Comments: In the initial ranks I wrote that the public was far too low on this pink team and openly solicited bets on their finishing position. Well, fast forward to the end of the season and they made up a 14 goal differential gap to Glatt’s to secure 3rd place and actually briefly held the 2 seed (for about four hours). The losses of the Spec bros tandem for the playoffs and Craig most likely for their opening playoff game ding their chances significantly but this is a team that’s show they can overcome adversity all season after being ranked last by most people. And if there are freak thunderstorms that delay the championship to a date when Chad is back from Brazilian Oktoberfest (which I just recently learned was a thing), watch out.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Similar to the Glatts this team benefited down the stretch from pumping shortanded opponents. Without the Spectors they are much less scary. They’ve also benefitted from weaker players not showing up. We’ll see if that continues in the playoffs.“
“Yehuda’s team has a lot of strengths, namely goaltending, defense and the best girl in the league. Of course they also have some major weaknesses, namely Yehuda.”
7) The MilkMob
Average Rank: 6.40
Previous Rank: 9 (up 2)
Highest Rank: 4
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 1.95
Comments: An up-and-down season for the MilkMob ends with a middle of the pack ranking after an electric win over the Ducks when they were down by two goals was followed by the exact opposite in blowing a two goal lead over pink that would have secured top six seeding. Aliza is out for the season with a knee injury but everyone’s favorite bartender, Becca, will be in for the playoffs while KG is out this week but should return if they advance to the final four. The path to the finals is extremely difficult but if anyone can inspire the dairy farm to reach new heights, it’s Papa Joe.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“The rest of these rankings are moot since I don’t see any of these teams winning three games, especially a third game against a fresh top ranked opponent. Mob might have a shot because they can rotate their Pete/Frey tandem and the Milkman can always just drink more milk. However, it sounds like their women have abandoned them. I guess hockey imitates life.”
“The top of their lineup is elite but winning three games in a night is going to be really tough for them. I hope they make it because if Joe wins the cup he’s liable to do anything.”
8) Return Of The Clap
Average Rank: 8.20
Previous Rank: 5 (down 3)
Highest Rank: 5
Lowest Rank: 10
Standard Deviation: 2.05
Comments: This has to be the lowest ranking ever for this franchise as, for the first time ever, they had to play a significant portion of the season without Ryan. But something seemed off all season with this team as they never quite clicked the way they usually do. It would be a mistake to totally count this group out for a deep playoff run, especially considering they’ve never missed a final four and in fact made it as a 7th seed just two seasons ago, but with both Pete and Ryan missing the opening tripleheader it’s going to take incredible efforts from the rest of the squad to give them a chance to come back for championship weekend.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Clap is young and Pete plays 3 games most nights anyway so maybe they have the energy to win 3. They beat Glatts earlier in the year and have Ryan who can singlehandedly put a team on his back.“
“The magic just isn’t there for this group anymore. Was 2024 a flash in the pan? Is Pete ever coming back to America? Does Ryan know what year it is? Is Tommy doing anything besides yelling at refs/opponents? Going to need a big time effort to win three games on night one.”
9) Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Average Rank: 8.60
Previous Rank: 4 (down 5)
Highest Rank: 7
Lowest Rank: 10
Standard Deviation: 1.14
Comments: Purple actually spent much of the season in the top three but a few losses to end the season and some bad luck with the results of the other games dropped them to 9th place. Still, this is a team that no one seems to want to face with some crazy talent up front led by Fitz, Nick, Oskar, Pigozzi and one of the season’s top rookies in Cedric. Milstein’s first two seasons as captain have been close to a final four appearance, but not quite there. Will this finally be the year?
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Purple had some bad losses, but only because they were massively shorthanded. If all their top players show up and Pigozzi doesn’t get ejected they might have a chance.”
“If they get bounced early again are we going to get another email trying to change league rules? Probably.”
10) I’m Schvitzing
Average Rank: 9.20
Previous Rank: 7 (down 3)
Highest Rank: 8
Lowest Rank: 10
Standard Deviation: 0.84
Comments: This Schvitzing squad is unquestionably one of the fastest teams in league history and their offense has been on point all season (defense…not so much). Unfortunately, however, these rankings measure likelihood to win the cup and with a plethora of guys missing the first several games of the playoffs due to Judaism and the Yankees/Blue Jays game, Schvitzing looks to be facing an even larger uphill battle than Moses himself. They still have the firepower to make some noise but it’s going to take a true Chanukah miracle to get through three games without five of their top picks. Oy vey.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“This team is better than their ranking but they just never gelled well enough to get the job done. They also need Cam to show up on time to win their first game.”
“A well drafted team but scheduling playoff games on Sukkot was the kiss of death for this minyan.”