Week 3 Betting Lines (Summer 2018)

The Varsity Warriors (-155)          o 7.5 (-115)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+125)    u 7.5 (-115)

The pick: The Warriors were installed as the new league favorites during the bye week after two impressive opening wins and some key late registration adds.  However, the team they beat in week one is nothing like the team they will face tonight.  Team Cup Size was missing almost all of their guys, at times playing with four girls, one guy and like two subs en route to a painful 7-0 loss.  Sure, none of Jenn’s breasts were destroyed, but it was painful nonetheless.  While Will remains a game time decision, most of the other scorers are expected to be present and Probie is facing some possible attendance issues of his own.  This is a tougher matchup than it may seem based on standings, but expect the Warriors to keep rolling with a 4-3 victory.

BONUS LINE: Will Rich Glanzer score a goal in this game?
No Way (-500)
I Believe In Miracles (+350)

This guy clearly thinks odds should be closer to -3000.

Hungry Hippos (+130)              o 9.5 (-120)
Team Sexy (-160)                        u 9.5 (-110)

The pick: Team Sexy came into the season with high expectations but so far have struggled mightily to defend with any regularity.  While scoring 11 goals in two games sounds great, giving up 12 is decidedly not.  If they’re truly going to bring sexy back, they’re going to need to tighten up in front of Dave GDR, and do it against an upgraded Hippos squad.  Though they will likely be missing the services of the man known only as “The Provider,” Gene is an intriguing pickup from the ranks of Chelsea Piers and #akhilnation looked very comfortable in his debut a few weeks ago.  The x-factor here will be in net where the Hippos will have to hope their goaltender isn’t looking too far ahead to partying in Atlantic City on Thursday and that he got a decent night of sleep rather than having Tinder girls show up at 3 AM to “check out the rooftop.”  Newsflash: most rooftops don’t come with a mandatory ass-eating clause, and this game seems destined for the over.

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This was the only picture I had of Zisser in Atlantic City that was remotely usable on a SFW site. 

The Charging Cheetahs (-170)                o 7.5 (-120)
Bombay’s A Sham (+140)                         u 7.5 (-110)

The pick: This game will be a rematch of last week’s game which featured the Cheetahs winning in convincing 6-1 fashion (don’t worry; there are no more rematches for any team until the final week).  This game should be different, however; Bombay was missing a few of their top guns in that match, #1 overall pick Zac “Ball” Hogg first among that group, and J-Ro was perhaps the most significant deadline roster move (does he provide doe?).  While they had the services of three free agents in that game, all of them were in their second game of a back-to-back.  The Cheetahs have looked downright dominant in their first two games but may have also caught two squads having off-weeks in attendance and execution.  Campbell will be on his second game of the night, and with the high scoring Team Sexy looming in week four as a classic offense vs defense showdown, this one seems to have all the ingredients of a classic trap-game…but the Cheetahs roster is full of players way too experienced to fall for that.  Under the bright lights of the night game, the Cheetahs keep their undefeated streak alive.

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Finding usable photos of Campbell was significantly easier.  Note: he is not the dude with the grey hair and vaguely Mike Pence thing going on.

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