Week 4 Betting Lines (Spring 2019)

Winter Is Coming (-125)
The Charging Cheetahs (-115)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)

The Pick: One week after a hard fought victory over the Rainy Day Kids Club, Winter Is Coming will head to Cheetahs Coliseum to face Jo, SBJ and the Cheetahs. The are supposed to be the fastest animals in the jungle but so far this season they’ve already been beaten by a Hippo and a Parrot. I mean what kind of cheetah is that? More importantly, how big must that parrot have been? They will also be without the services of Sully this week although a Poutine replacement may be in the works. Carlin is out but will be replaced by Andrea Cutler in the lineup while deLacy is a game time decision. The biggest question mark is the status of Luke, the league’s leading scorer who is currently listed as a game time decision for this one. If he plays, the blue team should be considered a strong favorite to continue the strong play that’s led them to 2nd place in the standings thus far, with just one OT loss to the first place Goonies. If he doesn’t, they’ll roll without a sub player and probably be closer to pick’em status. Bet at your own risk.

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-150)
Chosen 1s (+110)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)

The Pick: Glanzer and his self-appointed “beautiful mind” won’t be present for this matchup, but Jeff and Brad will be and 10/10 hockey pundits agree this is far preferable to the orange team. Greenwald is fresh off a Sunday night shootout victory and will have his hands full with a fully staffed for the first time this season Cup Size squad. Last week they showed resilience in coming back from a late deficit even though Lee will continue bitching about the results to anyone who will listen; they’ll need to show the same moxie against a Chosen 1s team motivated to climb into a top four seed and the play-in bye that comes with it. Jeff is a strong of a captain as it gets, but Jenn’s boobs are too big and too strong to be held down by modern sports bras and by the Chosen 1s. Bet on black.

Goonies (-155)
Rainy Day Kids Club (+115)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)

The Pick: First place plays last place – should be an easy matchup to predict right? Not necessarily. The first time these teams met, the Goonies won 5-2 but the Kids Club played without Russo and Christian while Mike T scored a hat trick for the Goonies as a free agent. The player he was subbing in for, however, is Derek who was always an early Probie draft pick before Cherie snagged him with her first rounder before Ben had a chance to pounce. So can the Kids Club pull the upset? They’ll need to get to Eitan early and often, pouncing on rebounds and beating the Goonies with speed. The Goonies generate most of their offense in transition and Ben and co are one of the few teams that can run with them all game. But they’ll need to tighten up compared to what we’ve seen so far to pull the upset. Having a few NHL-level saves from Burke wouldn’t hurt either. I’m taking the over.

Hungry Hippos (-115)
Purple Parrots (-125)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

The Pick: In the final game of the evening, Campbell’s alcohol and orgy fueled (I’m assuming) sojourn to Puerto Rico leads to another Tim Burke relief performance. Last week he played like an absolute monster, keeping the Parrots ahead for most of the game before Gabe, Gene and possibly the refs got the best of him. With Stu averaging a goal per game and LJ doing her thing on defense, the Parrots have been perhaps the surprise team of the season thus far; however, losing Campbell hurts and our sources indicate Julie may be playing this game slightly boozy. The Hippos are riding high after an exciting come from behind win last week that I wish we had footage of if you people would just please try to avoid killing our cameramen from now on. It’s a classic battle of defense vs offense, and the Cheetahs writeup has already demonstrated that we can’t glean anything from animal kingdom style matchups, where a hippo would assuredly destroy a parrot. I’m expecting another low scoring game in a season that has surprisingly been chock full of them so far, and hopefully no more dead cameramen.

Will any games go to OT?
Yes (+170)
No (-220)

Grand Salami (Total Goals For The Night; Shootouts Count As +1 Goal)
Over 24.5 (-125)
Under 24.5 (-115)

Will Jeff Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Yes (-150)
No (+110)

Will Luke Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Yes (-150)
No (+110)

Will Probie Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Yes (-140)

Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Sweet Baby James (-155)
AFrey (+115)

Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Andrea (-110)
Ryann (-130)

Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Derek (-120)
Probie (-120)

Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Stu Barnes (-110)
Meatbox Hicks (-130)

Have The Lines On This Site Finally Gotten Too Ridiculous?
Yes (-275)
No (+225)

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