The Pick: In the first game of week 8 (but really only one team’s played 7 games so far), the winless Rainy Day Kids Club head into Cup Size Stadium to face the black team who will be without the breasts they are named for as they are currently gallivanting around Portugal. The Kids Club will be without the services of Matt Stabel, Maurice, Steve Friedman and goaltender Tim Burke while team Cup Size will be playing without Charles, Mike and the previously mentioned boobs. Subs for both teams are TBD but with Probie at less than 100% and Cup Size set with Hogg and Gabe on defense, this looks to be a good spot for the black team to pick up a much needed win as they look to make a late surge towards the #2 seed and attached double bye directly into the semis.
The Pick: In a week one rematch, a shorthanded Team Winter (particularly after this week’s Thrones episode – dear lord) heads up to Tel Aviv to meet up with Avery and face the Chosen 1s. No, that doesn’t mean that Avery is subbing in for Luke; D5’s all time PPG leader has literally been in the holy land for the past two weeks. Zisser’s holy land is the strip club and fresh off of his birthday he will try to tear himself away from the den of sin long enough to stymie the orange team’s formidable offense. When these teams met in week one he made one of the saves of the year on Becca and he’ll have to be great again this week with Luke, Josh, Jeremy, Eli, Caitlin and possibly others missing for the blue team. On the other side of the ledger, Jeff, Joe P, Rich and Riegler are out for orange. Lots of roster decisions for both teams currently up in the air so despite what the standings currently say, let’s call this one a toss-up until further notice.
The Pick: Incredibly playing their second game of the season before their first, the Parrots head to the oddly named Hippound to take on Hicks and the Hippos. This game features two of the best defenses in the league as Ariel, Seb, Sena and co will meet their match with the fast and incredibly disciplined Black Squirrels / Parrots amalgam. Both teams excel at blocking shots and scoring on the counter attack. The Parrots won a squeaker last week on a late goal from Mike Goose while the Hippos have played one game in the past month, a 3-2 overtime victory over the Rainy Day Kids club. I’m not touching the money line on this game but seeing as both teams should have most of their players ready to rock, I’d be inclined to take the under and hope for a low scoring, borderline boring game.
The Pick: The Goonies remain technically undefeated even though they were down 3-1 to Cup Size last week with 6:03 left to play in the 2nd period. As the class of the league this season they’d rolled through the competition with an impressive 14 out of a possible 15 points gained in the standings and a +14 goal differential, scoring the most goals in the league while allowing the 2nd least. The Cheetahs have been two different teams this season, wildly impressive in a tight win over Cup Size and a 7-3 blowout over the Chosen 1s but also somewhat underwhelming in getting shutout by the Parrots and allowing Team Coming to come back from a 3-0 deficit to win in a shootout a few weeks back. Still, they’re right in the middle of the pack currently sitting at #5 in the standings. This is a potential semi-final preview as the Goonies look like a strong bet to retain their #1 ranking through the end of the regular season. Can the Cheetahs match the intensity and compete level of Cherie’s merry band of kids? Sully and Jo will do their best to institute the Poutine protocol of getting sticks and bodies in lanes, blocking everything and generally being annoying as shit to play against while deLacy will need to be at his best to hold down this high powered offense. While I think red is being undervalued by the public and white may have shown some vulnerability last week, I’m not quite ready to bet against Chuck, Data and the gang just yet. Take the Goonies to keep on rolling in a surprisingly tight affair.
The Pick: In a late start the Cheetahs and Parrots will make up one of the many outstanding games left from rainouts this season. Both teams will be playing their second game of the evening so the question is whether it will benefit the Parrots to have a game off in between or if the Cheetahs will have the advantage having just played and being fully warmed up. deLacy is also not sure if he can stay for the late game so there is the possibility that a goalie sub will be needed for this contest. I wouldn’t touch this game betting-wise, but for the real deal sickos in the house, games like this are often sloppy affairs which would benefit the underdog and the over.
Will any games go to OT?
Grand Salami (Total Goals For The Night; Shootouts Count As +1 Goal)
Over 28.5 (-120)
Under 28.5 (-120)
Will Probie Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Will Gabe Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Will Hicks Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Will Derek Score A Goal? (Must Play For Action)
Will SBJ Score A Goal vs Parrots? (Must Play For Action)
Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action)
Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action) (Only For GOO-CHA)
Who Will Score More Points? (Must Play For Action) (Only For HIP-PAR)
Stu Barnes (-110)
Meatbox Hicks (-130)
Will All Five Games Be Played In Full Tonight?