Week 9 Betting Lines (Summer 2019)

My Cup Size Is Stanley (+110)
Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

The Pick: The CONDO’S will be without the services of Creed and the Trembles. In their place will be Creamy on D along with Sara Lehman, future Goonies playoff sub. Cup Size will be without JRo for the remainder of the season, a devastating blow to their scoring prospects. Cro will be filling in for him tonight; less judaism, more savage cellys if he’s able to score his first career D5 goal. Cup Size has been middle of the pack on offense this season, with 20 goals scored which puts them in an amazing 3 way tie for 4th in team scoring. RONKONKOMA has been rolling all season, using their expert knowledge of zoning regulations to roll to a current #2 seed in the standings. The Goonies have been hot on their trail, however, and although yellow has a game in hand on white, they trail by two going into the third in that game (more on that later). With Becca also out for Cup Size and Jenn feeling uncharacteristically ill this week, this doesn’t seem like a game apt for an upset. Pay your HOA fees and take the CONDO’S.

Cleveland Monsters (-240)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

The Pick: This game has one period left to play, with the Monsters holding a 4-2 lead on the strength of a hat trick from Zac Hogg. Comebacks from two goal deficits are not impossible and have happened several times in this league. This is also a matchup where it could conceivably happen, as the CONDO’S rank 2nd in goals per game behind only the Goonies while the Monster have incredibly, despite a great cast of defenders and a savage goalie, have been at times porous on defense, letting up the 2nd most goals in the league. I wouldn’t blame you for taking a swing on the #2 team getting a great price, but I’d bet on a fresh Monsters squad to hold the fort and close this one out. The better question: can Hogg break the all-time D5 record of four goals in a single game?

Green Street Hooligans (-170)
Cleveland Monsters (+130)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

The Pick: The Hooligans look to continue their march to the 2nd undefeated season in D5 history as the face the mercurial Monsters. The Monsters should remain relatively fresh as they’re only playing one period before this, and will be using a sub TBD for their ladies. The Hooligans are missing Hildawg for this one but otherwise should have most of the roster present. The battle to watch for me will be in net as Zisser faces off against Jeff Green in a matchup that could help determine which one of them goes first in next season’s D5 draft. The Monsters have the stronger defense on paper, but the Hooligans’ D has produced when it counts, giving up the least goals in the league. The crazy fluctuations in Cleveland’s performances give me pause in terms of betting the over/under, but despite the rough odds I would take the Hooligans to keep on rolling.

Goonies (-150)
Stud Puffins (+110)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

The Pick: The Puffins will look to continue their march to a bye in their first season as they face Cherie, Yetter and the Goonies. The standings are a complete shitshow right now once you get past the Goonies as seeds 4-7 are separated by two points, with the Tigers four back but with a game in hand on the field and games remaining against two of the teams they’d have to pass. The Puffins would almost definitely hold the tiebreaker over all these teams if there was to be a tie in the standings as they have already won three games in regulation. Although it’s been an up and down season for orange, they do hold the ultimate playoff trump card of goaltending. Aside from a couple hiccups, Tim Burke and Tim K have been great all season and whichever one suits up tonight will face the 2nd goalie drafted this season, Max, in a battle to see who can make flashier sexier glove saves that make the crowd funnel beers in appreciation. The Goonies are locked in a battle with the CONDO’S for the #2 seed and thus a direct bye to the semis. As much as I want to take the Puffins to pull the upset, Cherie’s squad and their pinpoint passing is just too impressive to pass on. Take the Goonies to keep the momentum going.

The Charging Cheetahs (-120)
The Bayside Tigers (-120)
Over 5.0 (-115)
Under 5.0 (-125)

The Pick: In a night full of games that seem relatively easy to prognosticate on paper comes a true toss-up, a rematch of opening night when Braun broke a 1-1 tie with under a minute and a half left to give the Cheetahs a victory in their first game of the season and give the Tigers a taste of the losses that were soon to come. Blue has (obviously) looked way better since Gabe and Charlotte came back, but Charlotte is a game time decision for tonight while Matt Stabel and Danny Swersky are out. Even worse, Kevin is out for the season, a truly devastating blow to a team that needs scoring more than any team maybe in league history with only 7 goals in 6 games thus far. The Cheetahs are all too happy to score as they put up the Bayside season total in one game a few weeks ago, but followed that up by surprisingly only putting in four in two games the following week against the CONDO’S and Cup Size. It should be a tightly contested game with a lot at stake; the winner has a shot at the 4 seed while the loser is all but eliminated from the race for the bye. I’m going to refrain from picking a winner, but considering Bayside is last in goals and 2nd in goals against, go under all day.

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