Week 5 Betting Lines (Summer/Fall 2021)

The Sexy Ducks (-110)
Orange Royals (-130)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)

Omar Little Quote That Somehow Relates To This Game:
“Come at the king, you best not miss.”

The Ducks have won 2 game in a row by an aggregate score of 14-5 but if ever there was a time to take some points off them, this is probably it. Blue goes into this matchup missing a murderer’s row of players: Sam, Sully, Ariel, McCauley, Kevin, Meg and Kelsey are all unavailable for this matchup. The Royals should have most of their top players in as this is a pretty goyim team if I may say so myself…the Jew Crew of Mo, Eli and recent trade pickup Wagner are out as is future 3rd place in rookie of the year voting Sean Gavin, but while Tash may very well be Jewish, I am 100% sure Cherie is not and thus will be in the lineup and ready to roll. The Ducks will be using Andrea and a female free agent who just moved here from DC to hold the fort along with a male sub to be named later. I think from lineup standpoint the Royals should have the edge here and they certainly looked significantly better in their first game post-trade last week but they also got outchanced by the Hippos and benefitted from a stellar performance from Zisser. He will hopefully be rocking the high school hockey jersey his mom Phyllis found in the attic this past week to inspire his team and this game will likely come down to whether the Ducks’ remaining forward lineup can break through. I’m installing orange as the slight favorite in this one but the myriad of subs involved make this our McQuade special of the week: don’t bet on this unless you absolutely have to (aka have issues).

The Barrel (-120)
Green Street Hooligans (-120)
Over 6.5 (-135)
Under 6.5 (-105)

Omar Little Quote That Somehow Relates To This Game:
“How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sparring with the puppies?”

Omar utters this quote after getting frustrated that he’s got no real competition in the drug robbery game (we’ve all been there) and can easily just take what he wants based on reputation alone…without someone to push him, his skills may falter once an adversary truly worthy of his attention springs up. While The Barrel are not nearly as intimidating as Omar, they currently sit in 1st place with a 3-0 record and a +11 goal differential. However, two of those wins came against a Cup Size team missing most of their top players while the third was against a reeling Hyenas team that also only had maybe 5 total rostered players show up last week. Tonight will be a far stiffer test against the Hooligans, a legit championship contender with Probert, Pags, both Austins and Corey ready to roll. Probert and Derek will no doubt be amped up to face off, as will Jack and AK, and rumor has it we might actually get our first Krueger appearance of the season. Her agent, Ramy, told the D5 press as well as league insider Sylvester Cacciatore that a holdout was in the works, but it appears Barrel management was able to get her under contract in time for tonight’s pivotal doubleheader. No word on if her teammates Abby & Carly will kneecap her before the game to maintain their hold on the rookie of the year race but she should give purple a serious boost offensively and in the beer bong department. The biggest boost, however, will come from the McGinty family rumored to be in town and sitting in a luxury suite for tonight’s games. As much as I like what the Hooligans have going on this season I’m betting on The Barrel to rally around their captain and pull out a hard fought high scoring win.

Frothing Hyenas (+2 Goals) (+150)
The Barrel (-2 Goals) (-200)
Over 9.5 (-120)
Under 9.5 (-120)

Omar Little Quote That Somehow Relates To This Game: 
“Day at a time I suppose.”

In the classic season 2 episode “All Prologue” (perhaps best known for D’Angelo’s Great Gatsby monologue), Omar is asked how a guy who robs drug dealers for 8-9 years lives to tell about it and he responds simply “day at a time I suppose.” It won’t be easy for the Hyenas to turn this thus far painful season around but the only way to do it is one game at a time. They go into this game down 3-1, far from ideal, but with 4:31 left in the 1st period and plenty of time to claw back. They will also finally be getting most of their lineup in for this one: Braun, Kev, Lerner and Danilo are all slated to play and will be anxious to start making up ground in the standings. Amazingly, two wins tonight could vault this team as high as 3rd place in the standings but playing two top teams like Barrel and the Hooligans make that a tough outcome to count on. Only way to do it, like Omar and every hockey coach in history said, is one goal at a time, one period at a time…one day at a time I suppose. With four goals already banked and red in catchup mode all game I’ll be betting the over even if it’s set at a wild 9.5 goals (somehow three games this season have already cleared 10 goals).

Frothing Hyenas (+175)
Green Street Hooligans (-225)
Over 7.0 (-120)
Under 7.0 (-120)

Omar Little Quote That Somehow Relates To This Game: 
“Sometimes who you are is enough.”

The final game of the evening sees two teams on the tail end of doubleheaders in a huge game for standings. Red is desperate for points to avoid finishing in the basement and possibly getting relegated while the Hooligans are gunning for a top two seed and direct bye to the final four. Both teams should have enough players in the lineup to comfortably weather the doubleheader so fatigue shouldn’t be an issue. The Hooligans gave up six goals last week and Danilo/Braun should be able to test their defense in making their season debuts tonight. Whatever the records are, a top six of Braun/Danilo/Kev/Lerner/Metz/Riegler is pretty solid and has the potential to destroy parlays and survivor pools across the nation. I expect the Hyenas to play their best game of the season tonight but I have to say Omar is right again: sometimes who you are is enough. Probie, AK and Corey should have enough juice to get them the win here, albeit in a closer game than most people expect.

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