Week 5 Box Scores (Summer/Fall 2021)

The Sexy Ducks vs Orange Royals

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Chris (1) (assisted by Caitlin) (13:38)
2nd Period:
SEX (2-0) – Chris (2) (assisted by Rockoff) (5:20)
3rd Period:
SEX (3-0) – Stabel (5) (assisted by Rockoff) (9:45)
SEX (4-0) – Ellie (1) (assisted by Coach Eric) (12:00)

GAME NOTES: The first game of the evening saw the Orange Royals hosting the blue Ducks, although I assure you that team name was not at all inspired by Billy Madison…Chris Daly scored his first two career D5 goals while Waldman held down the fort in net. Stabel added his 5th goal of the season which, just a third of the way through the season, already is approaching his career high single season total…free agent and recent transplant to NYC Ellie added her first career goal to ice the game with 3 minutes left. When she told me that I was like of course this is your first goal, this is your first game. Apparently it was her first career hockey goal in any league which is just tremendously exciting…Waldman notched his first official career shutout. He kind of did it last season but it came during Minigame Madness with periods only being 7 periods in length and thus I’m not quite sure if it counts as a legit shutout for stats purposes…Crossfit Coach Eric, playing his first ball hockey game ever, was also probably the most vocal player I’ve ever played with and at one point, with the ball at center and one on one with a defender, screamed “LET’S DO IT.” Tash promptly took the ball away from him.

3rd – Rockoff (2A)
2nd – Chris (2G)
1st – Waldman (W, SO)

The Barrel vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Eric Bravo (1) (assisted by Probie) (4:01)
BAR (1-1) – Derek (1) (assisted by Annie) (6:29)
2nd Period:
BAR (2-1) – Amit (2) (unassisted) (4:43)
3rd Period:
GSH (2-2) – Pags (3) (assisted by Shannon) (1:24)
BAR (3-2) – Annie (3) (assisted by Abby) (3:27)
BAR (4-2) – Chris Fullam (1) (assisted by Derek) (8:01)
GSH (3-4) – AK (5) (assisted by Jess) (9:20)
GSH (4-4) – AK (6) (assisted by Probie) (13:38)
BAR (5-4) – Westley (1) (assisted by Joel) (2:00)

GAME NOTES: A much anticipated showdown between two of the top teams in the league did not disappoint with tons of back-and-forth action, a late goal with the extra attacker and a controversial OT winner…after rookie and DC transplant Eric Bravo opened the scoring for the Hooligans, Derek put up one of his patented sex goals with a sick dangle on his good friend/archnemesis Probert…with the Barrel holding a two goal lead and just under six minutes to go, the Hooligans mounted a rally led by AK who scored two goals, one on a nifty assist from Jess and one shockingly assisted by Probie (I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t verify the video). Ben now has more assists this season than in the past 3 seasons combined and is trying to prove he is not a selfish player/lover…purple would have the last laugh on a controversial OT goal by Westley. High windup is not a play that can be challenged but the refs did take a look before deeming the smartphone video inconclusive. Video replay shows the stick was probably high, albeit slightly, but somehow due to the camera angle you actually can’t see the blade of the stick. Green has launched a formal protest but The Barrel come away with two huge points in the standings which is good because Jack’s family was in the stands and if they had to watch his team blow a late two goal lead and lose in OT I don’t think he’d be welcome home for Christmas.

3rd – AK (2G)
2nd – Business Annie (1G, 1A)
1st – Derek (1G, 1A)

Westley, you are a lucky man.

Frothing Hyenas vs The Barrel

1st Period:
BAR (1-0) – Derek (1) (assisted by Henry) (0:45)
BAR (2-0) – Zach Weiner (1) (assisted by Cheeky) (3:36)
BAR (3-0) – Amit (1) (assisted by Derek) (4:31)
FROT (1-3) – Cherie (1) (unassisted) (6:08)
BAR (4-1) – Derek (1) (assisted by Westley) (11:40)
3rd Period:
FROT (2-4) – Scott Metz (2) (unassisted) (6:31)
FROT (3-4) – Scott Metz (3) (assisted by Danilo) (8:10)
BAR (5-3) – Westley (2) (assisted by Abby) (8:59)
FROT (4-5) – Braun (1) (assisted by Nate) (12:13)

GAME NOTES: A strong effort by the Hyenas as they started this game down 3-1 with 4:31 left in the 1st period. In fact, they actually won the portion of the game played on this night by a score of 3-2, with Captain Scott Metz putting up two goals within two minutes to cut the deficit late and Braun getting his first of the season. Unfortunately, D5 standings are cold and unforgiving as they lost the total game by a score of 5-4; as such, they will be awarded no points in the standings, and may god have mercy on their souls…two game winners for Westley on the night, though this one wasn’t mired in controversy. I’m fairly certain he’ll never get drafted in the double-digit rounds ever again…weird box score as Cherie scored the first goal in this game despite not being on the Hyenas roster any longer due to the 1st half of this game being played almost a month ago. This will be a trivia question someday for whomever is participating in D5 trivia nights at the local strip club (do strip clubs do trivia nights? They should).

3rd – Westley (GWG, A)
2nd – Scott Metz (2G)
1st – Derek (2G, 1A)

Frothing Hyenas vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
GSH (1-0) – Seb (1) (unassisted) (6:03)
GSH (2-0) – Probert (5) (assisted by AK) (10:00)
GSH (3-0) – Seb (2) (assisted by Charlotte) (11:29)
2nd Period:
GSH (4-0) – Probert (6) (assisted by Charlotte) (6:01)
GSH (5-0) – Eric Bravo (3) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (7:38)
GSH (6-0) – Pags (4) (assisted by Auston Lyons) (12:21)
FROT (1-6) – Thorpe (1) (assisted by Vanessa) (14:52)
3rd Period:
GSH (7-1) – Nestor (2) (unassisted) (3:29)
FROT (2-7) – Braun (2) (assisted by Nate) (14:40)

GAME NOTES: Seb just had a kid but in the first ball hockey game I’ve ever seen him play center, scored two goals early in the first to break the game open. After that it was sort of a Hooligans romp as the Hyenas looked a bit sluggish, possibly from having just played a tight game against the Barrel right before…an incredible moment took place early in the 2nd as AK made a great cross-ice pass to Probert who was teed up for a shot. Charlotte stopped the pass but left the ball for Probie who scored, thus giving her the assist on the play and leaving Austin with nothing. It is unfortunate that the camera battery died right before this happened because this was a video I would have cherished for the rest of my days…Braun scored with 20 seconds left although it’s not entirely clear if the ball went in or not. In fact, days later and having watched the replay over 30 times because I have issues, I still have no idea whether it was actually a goal. Thankfully for anyone who bet on Braun in the scoring race, it was late and Meg and I were pretty high so it was called a goal and will remain so on the stat sheet. Also if any law enforcement types are reading this, we were high on good old clean life.

3rd – AK Charlotte (2A, 1 Steal)
2nd – Probert (2G)
1st – Seb (2G)

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