Week 4 Betting Lines (Spring 2022)

*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only

The Goaldiggers (-165)
East River Kraken (+120)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)

Notes: Kraken will host the 1st place Goaldiggers in a classic Friday night game where both teams are missing players and it’s anyones guess what the hell happens. Goaldiggers will be without Miles up front, have AJ in net subbing for Hogg and Nicki subbing for Carley/Liz up front. Meanwhile the Kraken are missing a whole host of players and will need a bunch of subs for this game. Lily miraculously returned a Braun text and appears to be in so lady-wise they’re set but for dudes they have 4 confirmed in and their sub options appear to be Rockoff’s random friends and Lee’s cousin who has never played hockey. Maybe some blue team players if I can get them out although if Sam shows up Tarnow may riot (don’t worry, he’s safely in Colombia doing god knows what this weekend). As always Friday games are a total shitshow to predict but with Guido/Tarnow confirmed in and Danilo/Jared confirmed out for Kraken, whatever the sub situation I would have to bet on white to get the W, although probably not as comfortably as you think.

Most Points In Tonight’s Game

Tarnow (-135)
Braun (-105)

Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Braun + Rockoff + Ramy (-115)
Guido + Tarnow (-125)

1st Period Goals
Over 2.5 (EVEN)
Under 2.5 (-140)

Royals (-170)
Mavericks (+125)
Over 8.0 (-130)
Under 8.0 (-110)

Notes: This is legitimately one of the toughest lines of the season. The Royals were ranked as one of the top teams before the season but have looked somewhat ordinary in struggling to beat Cup Size before getting smoked by the Goaldiggers on Tuesday. The Mavericks have somehow only played one game so far, an 8-6 loss where they looked pretty damn impressive on offense but need to tighten up their D. Malik is out, Ludwig is still a question mark for tonight as is Jack R whose roommate has already abandoned his team so who knows what this guy’s plan is, but red should have enough horses in tow to make this one interesting. Meanwhile orange hasn’t asked me for any subs so I have to imagine they have most of their lineup coming in as well although Fridays are rife with last minute outs, last minute ins, subs, all of it. Jason tied a league record with 4 goals in their one game this season and will have to put in a similar performance if red is to have any chance in this one. I’m going to continue avoiding the moneyline on these sub-filled Friday games but will certainly be slamming the over because of red’s aggressive tendencies and the non-zero probability that Zisser might already be hammered.

Most Points In Tonight’s Game

Meg (-175)
Ryann (+130)

Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Derek + Scotty (-120)
Ludwig + Jason Campbell (-120)

Will This Game Feature A Shutout Or OT?
Yes (+350)
No (-700)

1st Period Goals
Over 2.5 (-125)
Under 2.5 (-115)

My Cup Size Is Stanley (+200)
Hungry Hippos (-260)
Over 9.0 (-120)
Under 9.0 (-120)

Notes: Cup Size has Ramy and some dude named Greg subbing in but these are minor stories compared to the headliner which is the return of the worst goalie in league history, aka Austin. He’s flying in straight from the depths of hell to help Cup Size stabilize their season or give up 12 goals trying. Black is riding some momentum from picking up their first win of the season and also picking up goal of the week honors on the gram but they will certainly have their work cut out for them in front of the worst goalie I’ve seen since Glanzer convinced me to play in a Long Island league during covid and we had a goalie who gave up minimum one, sometimes three goals per game from behind center ice. Like literally we would have 3 minutes of pressure and not score, the other team would go for a zone clear and that would go in our net. Good times. Anyways, I would expect similar levels of turd play in this one, especially considering last time these teams played the Hippos won 8-2 and Cup Size had someone in goal who actually plays goalie all the time. Hippos will be missing Jaimie, Joe P, Jon Herman and a few other players, and Cup Size’s horny line of Jeff and Sean will do what they can but I would still take the Hippos to pick up the win and have their shirts off before we even get to Dorrian’s. Giddyup.

Most Points In Tonight’s Game

Meatbox (-165)
Cherie (+120)

Will This Game Feature A Shutout Or OT?
Yes (+370)
No (-700)

1st Period Goals
Over 2.5 (-135)
Under 2.5 (-105)

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