1) Red Zeppelin
Previous Rank: 1 (unchanged)
Average Rank: 1.71
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 4
Standard Deviation: 1.11
1st Place Votes: 4 of 7
Comments: For the second straight week, red maintains the top ranking in our survey with 4 of 7 first place votes. They lost one game in a shootout without their 1st round pick but otherwise have the most points and the best goal differential in the league (tied with JFC). Tarnow should start scoring more now that he got the monkey off his back with his 100th point, but I’m still shocked at how many people are picking him to finish with more points than Mikey Marron despite Marron holding a 4 point lead at time of publication.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“I feel like I think this team is good because everyone has told me they are good. Like I’m being tricked or something. Idk guess I’ll go with it.”
“Those Weaver brothers are a pain in the ass.“
2) Julie’s Football Club
Previous Rank: 5 (up 3)
Average Rank: 3.14 (PI ALERT)
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 5
Standard Deviation: 1.57
1st Place Votes: 1 of 7
Comments: Orange completely dominated green but then lost a tight one to MelRose, although both teams were missing key players. They only have one game scheduled for July due to Tash being away for most of the month but if anything in the next few weeks gets rained out they may have to play a few without her, which would obviously not be good. Oh also for non-math fans, standard deviation is an indicator for how much variation there was in a teams ranks.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“This team looks good.”
“Tash’s real name is Natasha!? My mind is blown right now.”
3) Blueberry Bulldogs
Previous Rank: 3 (unchanged)
Average Rank: 4.0
Highest Rank: 2
Lowest Rank: 8
Standard Deviation: 2.16
Comments: Believe it or not, just a week into the season blue is the only undefeated team left in the league. That said, it’s only been two games and both wins were hard fought, but if Wes shows up and Zisser maintains his current form blue will be in the final four once again.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Ziss is hot.”
“A blue team without Liang, Phelps, or Gelman. Frey looks lost out there. Nixon’s a heartbreaker with commitment issues. Ariel is 42 and collecting social security.”
3) Hungry Hippos 2.0
Previous Rank: 3 (unchanged)
Average Rank: 4.0
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 6
Standard Deviation: 2.0
1st Place Votes: 1 of 7
Comments: After being the first teams to ever be tied in power ranks last week, somehow blue and black are tied once again despite a different team coming in at #2 and multiple rankers switching up their orders. This team was expected to both score and give up a ton but thus far the defense has held up nicely. As long as that continues, they will be a contender.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“So much firepower and so far they’ve averaged 1.5 goals against in 2 games.”
I would have had them higher, but an ultra-high Sal could be overheard during the Zeppelin vs Blancs broadcast criticizing the lack of chemistry between Hicks and Jack, and until they get their act together he refuses to enter the Meatbox. Now, should I be listening to Sal who at one point said ‘this is a Christian broadcast network?’ Absolutely I am.”
“This team is Toxic Masculinity at its finest.“
5) Shooting Blancs
Previous Rank: 7 (up 2)
Average Rank: 4.86
Highest Rank: 3
Lowest Rank: 7
Standard Deviation: 1.57
Comments: Last week I had to give Nate credit and this week it’s Simon’s turn to make me feel sad. The Blancs are solid and they are deep but they’re still only .500 and lack a true gamebreaker. If Jacob plays the way he did in their shootout win over Zeppelin, they can beat any team in the league.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Adam Herman was not just a personality pick. McCauley deserves the C. Did Simon always have a mustache?”
“Cara still gonna score 15 goals, her husband is also insanely good for never playing before.”
“I had this team at five and JFC at 7 but decided to flip them, this guy Jo Robin is concerning me. Anyways, this Blancs team stinks. I’m not sure why I was even flirting with putting them at 5. Does Simon create offense? I haven’t seen it. He might be a better goaltender. I honestly hate that they made it this high in my rankings. Sky Bento isn’t a real name.”
6) MelRose Place
Previous Rank: 8 (up 2)
Average Rank: 6.29
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 12
Standard Deviation: 3.77
1st Place Votes: 1 of 7
Comments: Adam Herman continues to rank them in 1st, either due to stubbornness or because Mel is secretly bribing him with free row classes in exchange for favorable media coverage. Whatever the case, this feels about right for a team with by far the largest standard deviation in ranks, becoming the first team to ever boast a 1st place and last place ranking in the same week.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Haven’t seen them play but I liked their draft. Nass and Storer give them scoring ability.”
“Too many me first guys on this team. Mikey Marron needs to control his rage. Mel and DRo are cute though.”
7) Merry Pranksters
Previous Rank: 12 (up 5)
Average Rank: 7.57
Highest Rank: 4
Lowest Rank: 11
Standard Deviation: 2.70
Comments: Pranksters are tough to rank, having an impressive win over MelRose but also having everyone looking ahead to championship week when they will be missing Derek. Early returns have definitely been better than expected but a Tuesday doubleheader will show us who this team really is.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“They might have a really good seed come playoff time but I think this team turns out to be a disaster without Derek who I think may be the best player in the league.”
“This team deserves to be higher but Derek has points on 62.5% of their goals and he’s not around for playoffs.”
8) Vegas Golden Knights
Previous Rank: 2 (down 6)
Average Rank: 7.86
Highest Rank: 4
Lowest Rank: 10
Standard Deviation: 2.41
Comments: Vegas slips precipitously after a tough week one loss in which their 1st rounder got injured midway through when the score was 0-0 and they went on to lose 4-0. Still, this team is too deep not to figure it out. Getting Jeff Green back in the lineup from his latest sojourn will be huge.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“The first game suppresses a lot of early season hype but it’s still very early and they have a lot of talent.”
“I like how Ellie dyed her hair to match the color of the jerseys.”
9) The Lavender Llamas
Previous Rank: 6 (down 3)
Average Rank: 8.29
Highest Rank: 6
Lowest Rank: 11
Standard Deviation: 1.80
Comments: Lavender similarly gets ripped after a tough week one loss which they played without Sam, Phelps or Pags. Those three will have to be at their best on Tuesday in a pivotal early season matchup with orange. I think, like last season’s red team, this team will be a strong mid-range/above average squad throughout the season that no one wants to face in the playoffs. Not coincidentally, both squads featured Sam who lives in Montreal but will (presumably) be here for playoffs.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“As bad as the loss to Hippos was, they were missing key players. Phelps will give them a chance.”
“Does Sam live in Montreal? That isn’t ideal when your entire team rests on his shoulders. Him and Pags are going to have to show up and put on a clinic to win games.”
10) Green Street Hooligans
Previous Rank: 9 (down 1)
Average Rank: 8.86
Highest Rank: 6
Lowest Rank: 11
Standard Deviation: 1.77
Comments: Green looked awesome in week one but then suffered a truly painful 7-0 loss to JFC that sent public perception of their potential prospects precipitously plummeting (say that 5 times fast). I don’t think they’re as good as they looked in a week one win over the Mensches, nor are they quite as bad as they looked in the aforementioned Friday night asswhooping they took from Julie. They should settle in as a below average but still plenty dangerous squad in the 8-10 range.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Had the most underrated draft last season, but I struggle to see the identity of the roster this season. It is almost as if when Red took Magosin in the first round they blew up their entire draft strategy.”
“That loss to JFC was UGLY, though Tom was absent. Still, I don’t expect many Facebook messages from Rich talking shit this season.“
11) Hubba Bubba
Previous Rank: 10 (down 1)
Average Rank: 9.71
Highest Rank: 7
Lowest Rank: 12
Standard Deviation: 1.70
Comments: You have to assume they won’t start most games with an empty net for 7 minutes, but even after getting someone in the goal they still gave up 5 goals in 83% of a game. Neil Stern & Brita looked great in their time together but like last season I fear they’re all speed and grit with not enough playmakers. Eli Karp in net and as a flex forward is their big wildcard and at a 3rd round cost, likely the key to their entire season.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Hard to analyze their first game considering they were absent a goalie for the first eight minutes and then scored three straight in approximately 17 seconds. But I am worried about this team’s defense.”
“First game was tough starting without a goalie. I think with their regular starters this team will be much improved over last season.”
12) The Mighty Mensches
Previous Rank: 12 (unchanged)
Average Rank: 11.71
Highest Rank: 11
Lowest Rank: 12
Standard Deviation: 0.49
Comments: There has definitely been an adjustment period for the 2011 Yeshiva League All-Stars but there have been flashes of high-end skill and the running prowess should improve every week. With a few more games to gel, this will be a dangerous offensive squad and a very tough play-in matchup for anyone to deal with. The fact that they’re easily the #1 team in the in-game boozing power ranks is the biggest upset this league has seen in years.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Hey, I’ll say this. I thought we were going to scare the shit out of them but they’re actually beating a lot of other teams in terms of vibes.“
“This teams got heart. They’ll climb the rankings soon. Frey found a new best friend in Ami Cohen. I’m happy for him.”
“Too obsessed with ripping darts.“