Week 4 Box Scores (Summer 2023)

Merry Pranksters vs Hubba Bubba

1st Period:
PRK (1-0) – Chris Fullam (1) (assisted by Sam Gelman) (3:28)
HUB (1-1) – Stern (1) (assisted by Neil) (8:40)
HUB (2-1) – Neil (1) (assisted by Stern) (9:37)
2nd Period:
HUB (3-1) – Neil (2) (assisted by Cherie) (1:22)
HUB (4-1) – Rockoff (1) (assisted by Mike Wright) (9:16)
3rd Period:
PRK (2-4) – Manny (1) (assisted by Sam Gelman) (4:58)
PRK (3-4) – Manny (2) (assisted by Paul Chester) (5:28)
HUB (5-3) – Stern (2) (assisted by Cherie) (7:57)
HUB (6-3) – Neil (3) (EN) (assisted by Robyn) (12:35)

GAME NOTES: For the 2nd week in a row Hubba Bubba’s goalie wasn’t at the rink to start. This time he changed quick enough that they at least didn’t have to start the game with an empty net and behind a hat trick from Neil, pink picked up an impressive six goals en route to their first win of the season…Cherie subbed for pink and picked up two assists while Robyn subbed as well in her first D5 game since a midseason wrist injury in the Spring. After seeing her performance in this game she was immediately tendered a contract offer by Joe Moskowitz and the Vegas Golden Knights where she will spend the rest of the season making sure that the team upholds that world famous Vegas culture.

3rd – Manny (2G)
2nd – Stern (2G, 2A)
1st – Neil (3G, 1A)

Julie’s Football Club vs The Lavender Llamas

1st Period:
LLA (1-0) – Santo (1) (assisted by Annie) (1:33)
JFC (1-1) – Brett Marks (2) (assisted by Justin Mazzaro) (13:29)
2nd Period:
LLA (2-1) – Jeff (1) (assisted by Annie) (10:51)
3rd Period:
JFC (2-2) – Mike Pigozzi (1) (assisted by Tash) (12:55)
JFC (3-2) – Kev (1) (PP) (assisted by Reid) (4:11)

GAME NOTES: This game had a playoff type feel from the beginning. Orange had their full lineup while purple was again missing multiple top players but that also gave them the ability to feed Sam minutes. In the end, purple came within 1:05 of escaping with a win but Pigozzi scored his first career D5 goal off a rebound of a Tash one-timer with the goalie pulled to force OT. Both teams had chances but Kev ended it with a power-play snipe that popped the water bottle (you can literally see it on the video) and sent JFC fans and bettors alike home with a W.

3rd – Mike Pigozzi (1G)
2nd – Annie (2A)
1st – Kev (GWG)

Merry Pranksters vs Green Street Hooligans

1st Period:
PRK (1-0) – Derek (4) (assisted by Sam Gelman) (0:17)
2nd Period:
PRK (2-0) – Paul Chester (2) (assisted by David Abada) (1:34)
3rd Period:
PRK (3-0) – Derek (5) (assisted by Alex Rickard) (2:47)
PRK (4-0) – David Abada (1) (assisted by Paul Chester) (5:54)
GSH (1-4) – Tommy (1) (PPG) (unassisted) (9:17)
PRK (5-1) – Sam Gelman (5) (assisted by Hilary) (11:06)
PRK (6-1) – Derek (6) (assisted by Danilo) (12:28)

GAME NOTES: Derek is a real sicko. Last season he had a friend register, pay but then never respond to a single email nor show up for a single game. He asked which email the guy registered with and I showed him. Upon seeing that the incorrect email was used to register, I asked how this could be possible and it was only then that Derek admitted that he in fact was the one who registered his buddy but put in the wrong email address when he did so. He asked if his friend could have a free D5 season to make up for it. I said we could discuss after the game. He said what if I get a hat trick right now. I said if you get a hat trick then I will approve the free season immediately. Wouldn’t you know it, this sick sick bastard scored 17 seconds in off the opening faceoff, then completed his hat trick with just 1:32 left in the game, then came to the scorer’s box to gloat and give us the exact name and spelling of his buddy’s name. So it looks like Alex Barrett may be in next season and I would advise anyone thinking of placing a ball hockey related bet against Mr Zaentz to proceed with extreme caution…this marks two straight violent beatdowns of green, although the game was a pretty tight 2-0 heading into the 3rd. Still, the lack of defense in front of Jacob in the 3rd was concerning and made me look kinda bad since part of my sales pitch for him joining the league was that, unlike in BTSH, he would have a defense that would protect him. That said, four games in the Pranksters are the #1 offense in the league with 17 goals in four games so maybe it’s not quite as bad as it looks for green. I can’t believe I’m saying this but getting Glanzer back might help shore up their defensive structure and stop the bleeding…finally, as mentioned in the preview for this game, I am all over the Pranksters bandwagon. Full disclosure: I kinda thought this team would suck. But I have to say, of all the captains who attempted to game the supplementary pick system this season, shockingly the best performance of them all came from sweet, innocent Sam Gelman. By locking in both Hilary and KG at reasonable costs, he ensured himself one of the top lady combos in the league and one that he could comfortably play at D, leaving the brutish men to run 3 deep at forward every shift. Manny looks like a fantastic late round sleeper and Derek hasn’t missed a step, reminding everyone why he was the #1 overall pick in multiple seasons pre-covid. Will this team struggle without him if they make the final four? Certainly, but there’s a lot of season to go before then, which was Sam’s exact outlook when making the pick: “I’m drafting for the season, not just the championship round.” And they haven’t even played a single game with their actual rostered goalie yet. Ranked dead last in the power rankings entering the season, I daresay they will not come close to that rank again and look like they will comfortably escape the bottom four play-in round. Roasting Gelman is a lot of fun and I don’t plan on stopping that anytime soon but the Pranksters deserve our respect. This team is for real.

3rd – Max (1 GA)
2nd – Sam Gelman (2G)
1st – Derek (3G)

MelRose Place vs Hungry Hippos 2.0

1st Period:
HIP (1-0) – Adam Satok (3) (assisted by Munir) (8:40)
2nd Period:
HIP (2-0) – Adam Satok (4) (assisted by Karly) (3:54)
3rd Period:
HIP (3-0) – Hicks (1) (assisted by Munir) 11:47)

GAME NOTES: Satok continues what is shaping up to be a career year with two goals, one of them of the sexual variety. Both goalies were sparkling in this one with Max making a ton of highlight reel saves and Cam notching a very impressive shutout win. The final goal was a bit controversial but this was a highly impressive 3-0 win by the Hippos…I’m not going back through four seasons of box scores but I’m fairly certain this was the first multi-point game of Munir’s career. Oh dear.

3rd – Max (3 GA)
2nd – Cam (W, SO)
1st – Adam Satok (2G)

Red Zeppelin vs Hungry Hippos 2.0

1st Period:
RED (1-0) – Carter (5) (assisted by Mike Tarnow) (5:14)
RED (2-0) – Campbell (4) (assisted by Mike Tarnow) (10:23)
HIP (1-2) – Tom White (2) (assisted by Adam Satok) (12:51)
2nd Period:
RED (3-1) – Scott Olivierre (1) (assisted by Campbell) (0:16)
3rd Period:
HIP (2-3) – Adam Satok (5) (assisted by Hicks) (5:38)
HIP (3-3) – Jeff Oberg (1) (assisted by Munir) (7:02)
Shootout Winner By Hicks

GAME NOTES: A showdown between two of the top teams in the league playing without their 1st rounders delivered the goods in the Tuesday night west coast game. Red jumped out to a 2-0 lead but black was able to come back on the strength of two goals in a span of 1:24 midway through the 3rd. After a scoreless OT, black would triumph in the shootout with goals by Karly and Mr Meat/Testiclebox himself. Fun fact: I was standings next to Carter during this shootout and, before Hicks’ attempt, warned him that if a goal was scored he was about to see a celly for the ages. Sure enough, we almost got treated to a half-court slip-and-slide before he realized midway through the move just how much that would hurt and audibled to some type of cartwheel situation. Still electric…with two assists in this game Tarnow shifts the odds of the him vs Marron points contest from -120 to something like -300. I would say the buy-low window has shut but let’s be honest, Nate was never trading him…since a week one OT loss to orange, black is now on a 3 game win streak. Dating back to last season, they have lost one game in their last 14 overall.

3rd – Jack (1G)
2nd – Jo Robin (2A)
1st – Adam Satok (1G, 1A)

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