1) Bluebies
Average Rank: 2.88
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 6
Standard Deviation: 2.88
1st Place Votes: 4 of 8
Comments: In my biased opinion, this is the team to beat with strength at every position and the ability to use any goalie sub they want. People will point to Sam and Corey as the reason for this team’s lofty ranking but if blue does win the ship, coming out of rounds 3, 5 and 8 with Chad, Brita and Brad will be the reason why. Also if they do win in my first missed season ever, I’m definitely a low rounder when I come back.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Did nobody seriously know Corey had a brother or did Sam just get lucky?”
“Rigged.”
2) On Tuesdays We Wear Pink
Average Rank: 3.13
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 6
Standard Deviation: 2.1
1st Place Votes: 3 of 8
Comments: Jake’s best season as captain came with Jeff Green in net and he’s running it back with a very strong roster that includes last season’s rookie of the year Jo Robin, Hilary (who might be the most underrated girl in the league) and, of course, Jeff fresh off surviving the chaos at Burning Man in what he told my brother and I was a white shuttle bus (?). Pink should cruise to top four seeding with a real chance to bring home the franchise’s first cup.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Very solid all around and with Jeff Green back there you know they’ll have a chance to win every game.”
“I wish for Jo Robin to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
3) Big Deke Energy
Average Rank: 4.0
Highest Rank: 1
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 2.45
1st Place Votes: 1 of 8
Comments: Mel caught feelings for last season’s team and is running it back with Ryan, Dom and Mikey while bringing back MelRose vets Shan and Ridzik, now a part time forward but still a full time gambler. DRo was dropped to waivers due to being in Europe for the draft and while I think he’s drafted great teams for yellow in the past, this is their highest preseason ranking of all time. Will be one of the most interesting teams to follow this season as Mel looks for her first ever final four appearance.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Running back the core of last season’s team. Hinging this ranking a lot on this guy pelletier. No idea who he is but he is second in BTSH in goals. There is depth here. Hopefully Mel has the stones to bench people.”
“I think this team has got everything they need to succeed. Lots of scoring talent paired with good strong D is a recipe for success. I’m rooting for them.”
4) Shooting Blancs
Average Rank: 4.25
Highest Rank: 2
Lowest Rank: 8
Standard Deviation: 2.66
Comments: I don’t care what anyone says, Scott Storer in the 4th round was the steal of the draft. With a lineup that boasts Scott, Simon, Tom McGuire and last season’s defending scoring champ Adam Satok, plus a few of his little known buddies and the Jackuum in net, this is a scary team with a real chance to win some playoff games and avenge the last few forgettable seasons for white.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“I’m very optimistic about what this team can achieve this season. Lots of scoring potential paired with a very strong D core. The Jackuum will most likely be bored out there because he won’t face much adversity.”
“Top of this lineup is scary good. I still think Simon is overrated.“
5) Merry Pranksters
Average Rank: 5.0
Highest Rank: 2
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 2.78
Comments: These power ranks have probably the highest average standard deviation of any I’ve ever collated, and the Pranksters lead the pack in that regard with two people taking them 2nd and two people taking them last. There are some strong names on the roster and Gelman did surprise many with a high flying and fun team last season. But with Derek moving to the shore to fulfill his destiny as hockey jesus/surf instructor, I’m betting against that happening two seasons in a row.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“I like the top of the roster a lot and I did not know a lot of the other names. Maybe that is telling in itself but was giving some credence that maybe Gelman knew what he was doing. Maybe that was too kind.”
“Prioritized a chicken sandwich over the draft.”
6) Bada Bing
Average Rank: 5.5
Highest Rank: 3
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 2.0
Comments: Jack and Annie originally told me I was drafting their entire roster, then Jack showed up on the Zoom at 1:30 AM Italy time, strung out and drinking wine and made all of his picks, some excellent, some outright bizarre. No one quite knows what to make of purple but with last season’s defending Player Of The Year in Annie coming off a career season and Zisser in net, it wouldn’t surprise anyone to see purple make another deep playoff run.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Annie Jack and Russo are a great combo on the courts and on the flip cup table.”
“I’m shocked at this teams lineup. I think there are a lot of overrated players on this side. Jack, Davie Liang and Annie going to have to put this team on their backs to make any sort of noise.”
7) Red Eyed Peas
Average Rank: 5.88
Highest Rank: 2
Lowest Rank: 8
Standard Deviation: 2.1
Comments: The unholy Nate/Tarnow/Campbell alliance usually drafts very soundly due to Campbell’s work in the Bruins’ advanced stats department, Tarnow’s vast experience in this league and Nate doing whatever it is he does in those meetings, but I’m not quite sure what went down this season. You can never truly count them out, especially when they can roll out Cara or Cherie on every single shift, but drafting 13 dudes with none of them being truly elite scorers will be their downfall.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“A team of good people but had to knock them down a little because the season might end in December and Tarnow doesn’t do cold weather.”
“I have no idea what Nate was thinking in this draft. Was he even thinking at all? He always looked lost out there. Red will struggle this season and I’m here for it.“
8) The 96th Street Bastards
Average Rank: 7.0
Highest Rank: 3
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 1.85
Comments: Rich was contracted to draft this team, then decided mid-draft they looked so good he wanted to play with them too. The result is a very strong, very deep and very large roster. Hicks and Campbell will contend for the scoring lead as they look to rekindle their chemistry from the Summer/Fall 2021 season and Ariel/Sanchick/Peter will anchor the D, but no one seems to think they have enough to win the cup. This should be a relatively high floor team with a good chance at winning a playoff game but a serious longshot to win the championship.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“Hicks’ non back checking goon squad looks tough as always with athlete women who play smart hockey.”
“Won’t be nearly good enough to overcome their deficiencies.”
9) The Jewish Golden Calfs
Average Rank: 7.38
Highest Rank: 4
Lowest Rank: 9
Standard Deviation: 2.66
Comments: This team was uniformly ranked terribly by pretty much everyone except for me. Where have I seen this movie before? Ah yes, last season’s lavender team which struggled most of the season then steamrolled everyone to a cup. Where else have I seen this movie before? Oh yeah, the Spring 2023 championship runner up orange team which is an even better analog as they were in the exact same spot to start the season. No, really.
Both teams ranked last by many, middle of the pack by me, and both teams boasting Tash, Julie and Keith. While they may not have the big name sexiness of other squads, this should be a strong possession team and if Jake plays 8 or more games, he’s the easy frontrunner for rookie of the year as one of the smartest players in the league. My offer from Spring stands: anyone who wants to place straight up bets on how this team does, hit me up.
Comments From Anonymous Rankers:
“This team is weird. I have no idea what to expect but i think lots of bitching at Yehuda will happen very early on. They’ll have to grind out goals.”
“Hopefully, they fix Yehuda’s Hinge profile by the end of the season.“