Breaking News: Yehuda, Reid, Pucks Swapped In Historic Deal

Shocking news out of Vegas this weekend as the first trade in several years was executed on 4th of July morning in the craps pit of the Cosmo. After much negotiation, The GoldMembers have agreed to send controversial winger Yehuda Weinbach to two time defending champion blue in exchange for versatile defender Reid Zafrin. Though the deal is basically a straight one for one, the official trade is Yehuda for Reid plus a bag of pucks, indicating that technically at some point this season Sam and I have to buy Joe a bag of pucks. Both players agreed to waive their NTCs for the deal to go through, as did the pucks. That said, reaching Reid to get him to waive his no-trade was no easy feat as he was partying in Greece at the time and when I call people who don’t have my name on the automated called ID comes up as “Alex’s Horse” (long story on why that happens). Needless to say, Reid legitimately thought he was getting calls from a local sex worker and was both confused and intrigued. When finally reached he said he hoped if he was being dealt it was for a 2nd or 3rd rounder. When I informed him it was a 1 for 1 for Yehuda there was a long pause on the call and he told me he might kill himself that night. Important for me to note that even if he doesn’t make it home alive from Greece, trade has been processed by central registry and is final.

In his first statement since the deal was announced, GoldMember CEO Joe Moskowitz said “Gold is excited that Reid is joining the team to help us in our push for a playoff spot in a league where everyone makes the playoffs. We thank Yehuda for his 3 days of service to the team. His leadership, strategic mind, and overall hockey knowledge will be missed. We wish him well at this next stage of his career.” It was at this point that Joe started maniacally laughing and burst into flames.

For his part, Yehuda reported to gold camp (no, that’s not a new Jewish summer camp in upstate NY) in the face of constant trade rumors and looked to shed the primadonna image that has haunted him since his multiple seasons learning to be selfish under Glanzer and one particularly disastrous stint with the very same gold franchise just two seasons earlier. That tour ended with a first round playoff exit and close to 80% of the team turning on him at the end of the season. But much like Jesus, the crucifixion did not last and he rose from the dead, presumably to start his own religion. It was less a classic crucifixion and more like this song I rediscovered last year which my dad used to play all the time and I was always like why the hell is this random Christian rock song being mixed in with Pink Floyd and Queen bangers. Little did I know this was actually not a Christian rock song and actually a 90s Europop sensation that reached #1 in Belgium and top 10 status in multiple countries.

Somehow, people still tweet about this song almost daily, legitimately to this day.

I had to email some gentlemen about this song when I rediscovered it last year and lets just say Joel wanted to see them live. Honestly, who could blame him.

But enough about Army Of Lovers (which, by the way, is a strong contender for blue team name this season). Moral of the story: Yehuda has now been traded to the defending champs and will either be a crucial piece of their drive for a threepeat or will destroy team chemistry and be sent down to the minors. Will this season be more quality hockey like this or more dirtbag behavior like this? Only one way to find out. See ya Tuesday night.